To ask what would make the perfect MN wedding?

[GinThief]

DP and I got engaged this week, having read numerous wedding related threads in AIBU - I would like to know what you think makes a good wedding?

or we might just disappear to Gretna this weekend

I agree with the above, weekend ceremony, feed people fast and generously.

Don't go for just reportage photography, have a set list of photos you want and give copies to the ushers and best man. You will treasure the group shots.

Spend on the band / dj they will make or break your evening do in many ways.

Either

a) Elope, as is frequently the recommendation for brides-to-be having issues with family on either side/ guest lists/ people taking offence or poking their nose in.

or b) Plan a simple ceremony followed by a pub lunch, make sure kids are welcome and it's somewhere easily accessible, everyone is well fed and watered, don't go overboard (nobody remembers what the flowers/ dress/ favours/ table decorations etc looked like anyway) Just plan a day you and others will enjoy and don't get yourselves stressed out or into debt over it.

Congratulations OP!

... or c) Have the sort of wedding you would like and if that's not a pub lunch then don't have a pub lunch?

You have to spend virtually next to nothing because that proves yours is a true love which transcends shallow, materialism.

Apparently, if you spend more than £1K on your dress, or serve champagne then you don't really love your OH and just want to 'show off' like a tawdry idiot...

I've been to 2 family weddings recently. They were very different types of ceremonies and venues but both were fantastic because:

1. They were held at weekends in convenient locations near to transport with parking nearby

1. There was plenty of good food and drink with no hanging around for guests

1. The dress codes were clear and easy for the guests to follow

1. The seating plan was sensible and thoughtful

1. The speeches were appropriate for the occasion and kept short

1. The weddings finished by 11.30

1. Both couples made it clear in a nice way what gifts/vouchers/money they wanted to receive.

Most importantly, it was clear the couples had included things that made the weddings personal to them but had made a lot of effort to think about the comfort and happiness of their guests.

Op, I'm sure your wedding will be lovely. Good luck!

But seriously...

Offer good food
Don't leave your guests waiting for 3 hours while you have endless photos
Have good music, with a bit of something for everyone
Don't sweat the small stuff

Take a moment to stop. Breath. And look around you.

Winding back a bit, my apologies for not writing clearly enough before, and for misunderstandings caused.

The comment about term time was indeed, as another poster noted, because DC do get leave. So it is a hassle above all the rearranging that their parents, like all other invited guests, might have to do around their working life. I should definitely items have mentioned teachers too, because they cannot take termtime leave either.

The comment was meant to refer entirely and only to people expected to attend schools. Not a proxy for all parents (which it cannot be, as not all parents have DC in school).

Sorry again, more careless writing.

Of course I meant "... because DC do not get leave"

MILs having a punch-up.

Congratulations OP.

Maui. Obviously.

But you simply must through in several spa days on the lead up to the event. I'd be applaud otherwise.

Remember that a wedding is one day. A marriage is a lifetime. If you want.

Love these replies .

I second a banging playlist and plenty of booze. Could we have a free bar? I take it you're inviting us lot?

Good food, good wine, 90s music, "no gifts please" on the invite and no waiting around (unless there's food and booze to keep them occupied), informal but naice.

A quiet place to chat away from the music and dancing, nothing worse than when the only seats are a row of chairs round the outside of a dance floor and a DJ trying to persuade everyone to dance.

Thanks all ... We aim to keep all our guests happy with lots of food and good music located in maui, payed for by the guests

A not ridiculously expensive venue that is not too far for guests to travel or to stay in.

A decent amount of food, canapés and nibbles available while photos being taken if people have to wait a while for the meal. A decent buffet or food selection later on. I've been to a few weddings that did tiny bacon butties or burgers and a minute pretend bag of chips late at night, by which time people were getting taxis to go and get take always or giving up and going home. Also something for veggies, it doesn't have to be anything too fussy, but something! And yes I've been to evening receptions where there wasn't anything veggie.

Enough places for people to sit down inbetween dancing. Don't be fooled by venues that tell you they think less chairs is better as more people dance, they're lying.

And the bar doesn't have to be free, but reasonable helps.

Oh and invite people's partners. You don't have to do plus ones, but people's proper other halves should be invited really (unless you're inviting a bunch of work or club colleagues together perhaps). I'd also do a plus one for someone that I knew wouldn't know anyone else there.

After that, do what you want. The favours and fuss are all for you. Nobody else really cares. It may make them smile for a moment, but that's it..