Yr 7 - am I being naive

[RonSwansonsBestFriend]

DD 2 tells me that "a lot of the boys in year 7 talk about 'rapes' and swear and are 'dirty'..."

This is yr 7! These kids are 11/12. Is this normal?

How do I advise her to handle these things?

I have told her to ignore the smut (it's pretty pathetic stuff) and don't get involved. Ie: any reaction is a good reaction to them so say nothing.

The swearing, she says she gets caught up in the 'lighter' stuff, like bitch and sh** but she knows that I wouldn't like it so tries not to do it. She kind of asked me to approve it so she can go along with the crowd but I said I'm not going to condone swearing, it's not pleasant, she'd get in trouble if she's overheard by teachers etc. I told her to follow her own moral code. Am I completely bolting the stable door too late?

The 'rapes' comments I think are very immature/based on a shaky understanding too, but the connotation is horrible. Is it best to continue with 'ignore' tactic?

For background, this is a fairly standard secondary, all walks of life but a fairly nice area. I'm only making this point to state that it is your average school, so shouldn't be any different to most other secondaries.

Are all schools like this?

Sounds like ds Catholic school.

Makes me feel yuck that kids talk about stuff like this already.

At this point in y7 they are just now going from the relative innocence of primary, to secondary where some of the children are almost adults. They will hear (and therefore repeat) things that are new and exciting to them. Ime it calms down once the novelty value of it wears off.

Sounds standard. Though it is easy to feel like 'everybody' talks that way , because those who do, do so loudly. There are just as many who wouldn't dream of it, but they are often the quieter ones.

The term rape seems to be used quite glibly at high schools - a child will shout out 'he's raping me' if another pupil is messing around etc. I hear it quite often. I blame social media and the use of the term 'frape' which is a joke thing!

They used to talk like that in ds2's primary school

I used to have to explain what the words meant on the journey home each afternoon

Catholic primary in a naice area.

They spoke like that in my secondary school in the 80s. It was awful and really looking back, quite damaging.

I think I would speak to the school OP about the culture of sexist and violent language and that they MUST get a handle on it. It's hate speak really. If they were saying the N word then that would not be tolerated.

Talking about rape etc is not ok either when it's about girls OR boys.

I was a v innocent yr 7. A girl in my year used the c*nt word a lot and I was mortified.

I'd be horrified if my pupils were talking like that. It's funny OP that you asterisked out "shit" but "bitch" and "rape" are fine!
No girl should have to listen to boys OR girls calling other students bitches or talking about rape. It creates a horribly misogynistic culture.