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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

WIBU to not get my dog put to sleep?

46 replies

KayTee87 · 03/10/2016 20:18

We really don't know and would like some opinions from people who have maybe experienced this.
Our Westie is turning 17 this month, he has arthritis, his teeth aren't great, he has cataracts and his hearing isn't what it once was.
He still enjoys his food and slow walks outside, wanders around the garden and loves getting a scratch.
I don't think he will last another winter but would it be cruel to let him pass away in his own time?
I don't think he can be in constant pain as he does have good pain killers and isn't off his food and still has wet nose.

OP posts:

swizzlestar · 03/10/2016 20:35

I had to have my dog pts a couple of years ago, and you really do know when the time is right. My dog was only 10 but had an auto immune illness. It was very much on our minds for the last few weeks of his life, but once his legs went it was time. I really did just know. I think if you're questionING your decision, then it's not time yet.

Original poster

KayTee87 · 03/10/2016 20:40

Thanks for all of these replies! I will get back to some of the questions later - bit tearful just now! This is our boy having a cuddle and sitting on his hot water bottle.

OP posts:

Pardonwhat · 03/10/2016 20:43

Personally I'd rather a while too soon than a day too late. None of my pets will ever be in pain whilst I have the power to prevent that in my hands.
The vet told me getting my dog PTS was my choice - so I asked her what she'd do if it was her dog. She said put her to sleep now and let her life remain a pain free and lovely one. And so I held her in my arms and said good night one last time.
I'm sorry youre in this position

caffeine99 · 03/10/2016 20:57

I echo the other comments on how 'You just know'.

Eating and enjoying walks would indicate to me that the dog still has a certain level of quality to his life... With my dog I really did know it was time. He was off his food (when he had always loved food) and just wasn't himself.

fakenamefornow · 03/10/2016 21:01

Does he still way his tail?

Lonecatwithkitten · 03/10/2016 21:10

As someone who performs the deed, a plan day in the sun is always, always better than an awful crisis. Very few pets pass peacefully by themselves.
I facilitated a planned day in the sun this afternoon, at home with everyone who loved the dog round him, it was calm and peaceful.

Veterinari · 03/10/2016 21:13

Totally agree with lonecat
QOL is difficult to assess - is he still able to do the things he enjoys doing?

I understand that he's eating and pottering but Do you really want him to reach a point where he's off food/off his legs/suffering before you make the decision?

Soubriquet · 03/10/2016 21:20

We have a really bittersweet memory of my JRT last day

He had a rotisserie chicken all to himself and some lovely chocolate buttons. He had plenty of cuddles and he got to do whatever he wanted that day. Good night sleep that night and he went to the vets the next day without a care in the world

For me, I had still left it that touch too late. When I look back now, I realise he was suffering even though he tried everyday. I'm glad he got to have that special day but I do wish I had done it slightly earlier

piknmixer · 03/10/2016 21:26

It's so hard. Our girl is 14 now, she's diabetic and blind. A lot of people would automatically write her off but she still has a fantastic quality of life, her tail never stops wagging, she never stops exploring new places and nothing phases her at all. She really amazes people with how confident and happy she is.

You know if your boy is happy, if he's himself. I know that we'll have a really terrible decision to make at some point for our girl but as long as she enjoys her food, barks the place down to go for a walk and potters around the garden that she's enjoying the life she has. When that changes we'll make the call.

If you know in your heart of hearts that he has a good life, that the painkillers he's on help him and he still has a spring in his step, then look after him and enjoy him. If you don't feel that, then it's a terrible decision to make but it's the kindest one.

GipsyDanger · 03/10/2016 21:31

I had something similar with my cat recently. We put her down before she started suffering. With us though, she was only going to get worse. I would never let an animal suffer for my selfishness.

Original poster

KayTee87 · 04/10/2016 08:45

We have a second opinion for today, I'm going to ask the vet what they would do if he was their dog.

He does wag his tail still - maybe not as much as before though. It is so hard to know, id hate to think he was in pain but I'd also hate to end his life early, i don't feel I have the right to do that without good cause.

We will see what the vet says today.

OP posts:

PageStillNotFound404 · 04/10/2016 08:55

I'm another "rather a day too early than a minute too late" person. And I don't agree that you "always know" - I think wishful thinking, understandable reluctance and a form of confirmation bias can sometimes blind the most well-meaning owner to their pet's true quality of life, particularly as we see them every day so become inured to the subtle difference between one day and the next. A dog might wag his tail for a total of half an hour a day and so we think he's still fine, but if he's in pain and miserable for the other 23.5, is that an acceptable balance?

I definitely second asking your vet to tell you honestly what they would do if he were their dog, and if they're happy with his QOL to keep going for a bit longer, ask them what particular signs you should look out for that signify he's failing.

Original poster

KayTee87 · 04/10/2016 19:58

Had our second opinion and this vet said if he was her dog she wouldn't put him down. She told us some things to look out for to indicate a sudden decline and got some more medication etc.

OP posts:

Original poster

KayTee87 · 04/10/2016 19:58

Had our second opinion and this vet said if he was her dog she wouldn't put him down. She told us some things to look out for to indicate a sudden decline and got some more medication etc.

OP posts:

GipsyDanger · 04/10/2016 23:35

I'm sorry to hear that. It totally sucks. I took comfort in the fact that I was doing what was best for my cat.

GipsyDanger · 04/10/2016 23:36

Sorry, totally misread that! Good news!

honeyroar · 04/10/2016 23:57

Yes good news, you can relax a while!

I think if they're eating and drinking still, have enough condition on them and they don't struggle to get up they're fine.

I don't quite agree with the "you'll know" theory. I do think they tell you, but a lot of owners don't want to hear and keep trying to get them better. I agree that it's better a day too early than a day too late.

I hope he carries on doing well.x

Seren85 · 05/10/2016 00:20

We had this we our beloved family dog. He had no teeth and was old and a bit stinky. He was slower than he once was (collie/whippet cross so very understandable!) but still eating and drinking and content in the garden and having cuddles. The vet said he was not in pain but old and what to watch out for. A few months later he became incontinent and began struggling to get up so we had a lovely last day and he went off to sleep in my Dad's arms. We could see in his eyes when it was time. Oh God I'm crying now!

You'll know or he will tell you but for now I'd just be giving extra cuddles and keeping a close eye on him.

PoshPenny · 05/10/2016 00:53

I had a very old dog who tottered around, was a bit incontinent but clearly still enjoyed life. I constantly worried about him and if I was acting in his best interests. Made an appt to have him PTS as he wasn't very well, then the old bugger bounced back and I cancelled the appointment, it would have been like murder if I'd taken him. Then one day about 3 months later, he had some kind of stroke and was clearly in big trouble, I had no hesitation about making that call and taking him on his final journey. He was about 17 too. Be guided by your dog and trust your instincts.

Pohara1 · 06/10/2016 08:55

My own dogs are both quite young, but my mum's dog is an older dog. She has a few of the age related complications you describe for your dog - arthritis, cataracts, loss of hearing, bad teeth but she's always had those. Simply put, her quality of life isn't what it was because she's older than she used to be, but she is most definitely not ready to go. I could say the same thing about my father.
Your four legged child will tell you when it's time.

outnumberedismylife · 06/10/2016 09:10

I had exactly the same dilemma with my 15 year old Westie and while she was still eating and drinking I couldn't PTS. However when she had a seizure I decided it was time. Very sad. Give yours lots of cuddles.

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