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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU or is this Facebook woman massively entitled?

78 replies

cityrat79 · 03/10/2016 16:37

We have an old Maclaren buggy with a sticky brake but otherwise fine with a raincover. I advertised it on our local selling pages on Facebook for free to the first person who wanted it. After two or three people turning it down, a woman said she'd take it if I gave her our address.

I asked her to confirm a time first, and she wouldn't. I told her roughly what area we were in (within a 300m radius), and she still wouldn't confirm a time, so I left it, thinking I'd take it to charity the next day.

Then she did confirm a time, I gave her our address, all well and good.

Then the questions started:

"Dose (sic) it recline?" - No, sorry

"Dose (sic) it fold up really small?" Unsure what she meant by really small, so I told her again the exact model of buggy and suggested she googled it.

"Y, u never folded it up?"

I said that I was offering it for free and she could take it or leave it but I didn't have time to get into the exact specifics (I was breastfeeding at the time, out and about in town).

All well and good, and then she messaged to say she'd be late. I said that was fine, we were in until 6, no problem at all.

She then asked me if I could meet her halfway (a 20-minute walk - with me presumably pushing the baby in a buggy and wheeling the other buggy alongside me!), and I said no, sorry.

She told me that she was doing a 40 minute walk with two children and she thought I was being unreasonable.

Surely I'm not! I was trying to do something nice for a neighbour and offer a free buggy...

I replied saying I don't need the hassle and the reason I offered it for free was to get rid of it quickly, and if she doesn't want it, I can take it to the charity shop. My husband now thinks she knows where we live and will probably throw rocks at our house. (Not really.)

I'm half expecting her within the next half an hour... if you don't hear from me again, I'm probably her new maidservant.

Sorry for the rant.

OP posts:
Trifleorbust · 03/10/2016 17:02

I don't think her asking a few questions was unreasonable, but asking you to meet her half-way and then moaning at you demurring is entitled.

devilcakes · 03/10/2016 17:03

Good luck... Can you just leave it outside your door?

Sirzy · 03/10/2016 17:03

Did she arrive?

coughingbean · 03/10/2016 17:04

Place marking Grin

Mybeardeddragonjustdied2016 · 03/10/2016 17:05

Take the wheels off and put it up on bricks in the street!!
Don't answer the door!!

madein1995 · 03/10/2016 17:05

YANBU. Asking for directions is fair enough, but asking you where the house would be?! Once she's on the street, she ought to be able to work it out herself. Don't think there's an explanation for her behaiour that's reasonable, and not entitled or just pain in the arse-y

Original poster
cityrat79 · 03/10/2016 17:06

Well, I didn't expect that. She arrived, with an (approximate) 18 month old and an 8 month old in a double buggy.

She only looked about 20 at most.

She was just super lovely, apologised for all the questions and for having trouble finding it. She'd googled the buggy and had even googled how to collapse it to make sure she could get it home by herself. She collapsed it, loaded it on her buggy, thanked me, complimented my baby and off she went.

Really sweet girl.

Think my windows might be safe from rocks, but isn't it odd how differently people can come across online?

OP posts:
woowoowoo · 03/10/2016 17:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BillSykesDog · 03/10/2016 17:08

If you're skint you take the free buggy, say thank you and use it until a more suitable one appears.

But it could well be totally unsuitable. I wouldn't want to do a walk that long with two kids on a wild goose chase. It was just a couple of questions! I thought she was going to be asking the OP to deliver it or ensure it was in mint condition with all accessories or something. Asking a couple of questions so you don't have a wasted trip is hardly demanding.

woowoowoo · 03/10/2016 17:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LadyConstanceDeCoverlet · 03/10/2016 17:08

Make sure you invent a sudden appointment in a few minutes' time, otherwise she'll expect to be invited in and you won't be able to get her out of the house.

BillSykesDog · 03/10/2016 17:08

Glad it turned out well.

LadyConstanceDeCoverlet · 03/10/2016 17:09

Ah, cross post. Looks like my suggestion wasn't needed.

wlv12 · 03/10/2016 17:10

Yanbu.

I once sold a chest of drawers for £50 on gumtree. A bloke messaged me interested in them and asking if I'd deliver - 40 miles away. For free. I replied apologising and saying I wasn't prepared to travel that distance, explaining I work full time and have a disabled child so time is limited.
He replied saying 'lol it's only an hour away, I don't get your problem?'
Yes - an hour per way so a 2 hour round trip for no benefit to myself!
I sold it to someone local who was polite and could pick up.

EverySongbirdSays · 03/10/2016 17:10

Now that that's resolved itself. DO take a look at the Mexican House Thief. Legit the best Mumsnet story ever.

KitKat1985 · 03/10/2016 17:11

Oh well I'm pleased she was at least polite in real life.

There are some real entitled gits on those pages though. The worst I'd ever seen was someone asking if anyone had a spare I-phone they could have for free, and that they would have to be able to deliver it to them as well. Someone actually offered them an old I-phone which was then turned down as they wanted a newer one.

FireSquirrel · 03/10/2016 17:14

I hope she isn't on MN and doesn't see this thread, she'll be mortified. From your update she doesn't sound entitled, she sounds like a frazzled young Mum with a lot on her plate.

Bogeyface · 03/10/2016 17:15

SHe does sound nice, although a bit lacking in self awareness about how she comes across.

One thing I noticed on FB freebie pages is that the takers seem to consider that they are doing the giver a favour rather than it being reciprocal. Due to unreasonable demands and abuse on our our local site its owners insisted that all transactions must be done via the feed on the page, with only address details being sent by PM, you are banned if you break this rule. Sad but necessary.

Aeroflotgirl · 03/10/2016 17:16

Aww bless, sounds like she is really struggling, and mabey not the sharpest tool in the box. I am glad it turned out well in the end.

LurkingHusband · 03/10/2016 17:16

She was just super lovely, apologised for all the questions and for having trouble finding it. She'd googled the buggy and had even googled how to collapse it to make sure she could get it home by herself. She collapsed it, loaded it on her buggy, thanked me, complimented my baby and off she went.

I feel a tad bad now Sad ...

Original poster
cityrat79 · 03/10/2016 17:16

Yes, honestly I suspect mild learning difficulties or literacy problems as her tone was just totally different in person to how her written communication came across. I don't think she was particularly frazzled, and if she didn't drive, there are no busses joining where she lives and where we live, so walking would be the most direct route. (Although I did advertise it on the Facebook site for where we live - where she lives has its own, so it's not like I was being inflexible or unreasonable about the area.)

This all being resolved, where the holy hell can I find the house thief thread? All I can find when searching are other threads saying how brilliant it is!

OP posts:
Emmageddon · 03/10/2016 17:18

My local Freegle is the worst for entitled people wanting stuff - "a sofa, must be in excellent condition, dark brown leather, 3 seater, don't drive so must be able to deliver" is one choice advert on there today.

Glad buggy girl turned out to be a sweetie after all.

Dizzybintess · 03/10/2016 17:19

Did she finally rock up?
i had a lady last year who was online asking for pans as her children were unable to have anything stove cooked as she could not afford any. She lived 2 minutes from a bus stop and i live 2 mins from a bus stop too so minimal effort to get to me.
I offered her a full set of prestige pans as we had replaced ours.
I popped them in a bag and stuck it in the post bin at the side of the house and told her to collect it whenever she could.
a week later it was still there
I emailed her and she said sorry but I have been busy (Busy pissing it up on FB )
put them there for another week and lo and behold they were not collected so they went to the charity.

a week later she was back on there begging for a TV and a sofa and you guessed it ....pans!
a few people offered her old school TVs or small flat screens
but she rejected them, she wanted a biggun! and flat!

Fluffsnuts · 03/10/2016 17:19

Did she turn up?

I've had a few things for free off facebook selling groups - I confirm a time convenient for the giver, turn up on time, usually with flowers or chocolates.

Bambambini · 03/10/2016 17:19

Yip, i've had this. Loads of questions and asking if i can deliver - for stuff i'm giving away. Did deliver a pile of packing boxes as the address was near where i was going -not even a thank you.

Cheakiest fecker was an ex friend who sent emails out to friends and acquaintances asking for folk for money to fund their move to Oz. Even knocked on the door of a close friend of mine (only a passing acquaintance to cheaky fecker - through me) asking for money, and then asking if they could remortgage their house to give them a loan.

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