To not know what to do next? Child/school related...

[Sychnant]

DS is 13 and in Year 9. I really thought we were doing well this year - we have established a routine where as soon as he gets in, I look at his planner to see what homework he has, and what notes have been written by the teachers.

I have had a phonecall from his Head of Year today, who says he is concerned that DS hasn't done any homework so far this term. I know this isn't true, as I have supervised every bit - but did wonder if some HW wasn't being written in the planner. DS swore up and down that everything was being written down. Seems this isn't the case...

HoY will ask his teachers to make sure that HW is written into the planner, and I will make sure it's done. Ok so far, I hope.

He has received break/lunchtime detentions at least once a week for no HW/poor classwork/messing around in class. This doesn't bother him at all. He is now on report, so will have a card that each teacher fills in, with a mark out of 5 for effort in class.

We had this for a short while last year, and I said that each mark would earn/lose "points", which would be converted into time he could spend on the XBox after dinner. It did seem to help and I intend to implement this again.

But honestly, any other ideas would be much appreciated. I have been in tears since the phonecall because basically my clever DS (confirmed by teachers, not just my opinion!) is a lazy child with no work ethic. We have had the chat about needing to do well at school to get a good job so you can afford a nice life/things... he says the right things then continues to mess around for laughs in class. Please, what else can I do?

This describes my son perfectly. He's in year 10 now but last year was very stressful for those reasons. What worked best of all was when school dropped him down a set. He was Really indignant to no longer be in top set and hated the slower pace. Natural consequences to his actions (or lack of action) meant more than all my moaning and punishments. He was also not allowed to do one of the gcse options he wanted as he hadn't shown the teacher he was willing to work hard and she didn't want to give him a space that a more committed pupil could have. Harsh but there you go, that's life!

This year is shaping up a lot better as he seems to understand that he is not guaranteed a place at 6th form and no one is going to invest time and energy in his education if he won't.

It's so stressful I know. If you find any magic answers please come back and share!

My brother was like this, A star grade student but as lazy as fuck. Tbh I'd like to tell you my mum fixed him but all she did was monitor him better. All homework assignments got given to her & she would ensure the deadlines were written down on his wall planner & would oversee him until he got it done. He got 11 A stars at GCSE, 4 As at Alevel, and a 1st at degree & she did this throughout!!

God yes, my ds was exactly like this, go for Helens advice, what I practiced. Got one a* and a a/b. Really bugs me as I sweated over school

We have an online package called Schoology. Teachers log homework on it and parents have their own log in to check which work is set. Does your son's school?
Some of our students have been known to have two planners- there's the 'best' one that parents sign and the ' tell off' one that teachers write moany comments in. They're slippery fish.