AIBU to ask how fellow partners of people in the armed forces cope during deployments?

[Nakatomi]

Bit of background: DP is in the Royal Navy, loves his job and is currently at home. After Christmas he'll be going on a 9 month deployment. Every time this happens I always struggle to fill the time on my own. What do other people do?

I'm lucky enough to have a quite demanding job but it's the nights are what I find the hardest. Is there a dedicated section for military partners on MN?

This worries me too- partner in the RN and I work from home running a business. We don't live where he works so, no real forces friends either. Fortunately I have couple of hobbies to keep me occupied- but I can see it being lonely x

Army wife here and am currently studying with the OU which occupies me when kids have gone to bed. I also found a very good babysitter so I can still do various hobbies whilst he's away.

A good routine helps the days go by quicker too

The best thing about his deployments is I can open a bottle of wine whilst doing the ironing and not feel guilty about it

Star fishing in the middle of the bed?

Are you mad? Surely the correct procedure here is to enjoy the freedom to leave books, magazines, letters etc all over his side of the bed (it can even become a kind of filing system, organised by strata) and really resent having to sort it all out when another occupant is inbound.

mpsw - I have had a half-bed strata filing system too, but I kept losing the damned remote control and dislodging the pile off the side of the bed when rolling over in the middle of the night.

At the start of this current separation, I fished his shirt out of the linen basket and had it tucked in next to me until it didn't really smell of him any more. I have become more sentimental with age.

I found it easier without kids. Loads of hobbies. Lots of single friends/childless friends to go late night shopping/coffee/cinema. Quite a demanding job and used extra time to study for qualifications.

Now with kids. I have some single mum friends who I hang out with at weekends. Weeks fine as super busy with work.

I struggle with bed and tv sharing when he's home

The best thing about his deployments is I can open a bottle of wine whilst doing the ironing and not feel guilty about it

One of the best moments I had when he was on deployment was a weekend when I had nothing planned. I drank a cubic fuckton of gin and tonic and did nothing but watch Sex and the City. Complete bliss.

"a cubic fuckton of gin and tonic"

There was a question about SI units on 'Pointless' today. Extraordinarily and inexplicably, this one wasn't mentioned.

Pfft. What do they know??

Good luck with the adoption, that is very exciting.

Keeping busy is the best way to get through deployment I found. Plan nice things to look forward to at different stages of deployment, get involved in something in the evening and set yourself a goal of something to achieve by the time he is home if something like that works for you.

I found it much easier pre. children to be honest, I could amuse myself happily and kept busy with new hobbies, evening classes and travelling to see friends. Now we have children I find deployments much harder because there is no one to hand over to in the evening, and I have to support the children with their emotions in missing Daddy etc. DH is leaving the military next year and I am relieved to be honest.

I'm a left wing RAF wife, with a left wing DH and a left wing DS who is in the army, although we're all struggling with Corbyn, for Dapple's statistics.

I'm disabled so most of my life is centred around my home. I don't starfish the bed, I use his side for my books, magazines and iPad! I quite enjoy deployments, if I want cereal for tea I have it. If I want to stay in my pyjamas all day I do, and it gives me lots of time for reading and crochet!

When DH went away a couple of years ago, DS2 said "yay pizzas and doughnuts in front of the TV!"