AIBU to say no - a wedding one

[JessaHanna]

Just want some opinions.

Am getting married in three weeks, all catering and table plans are finalised.

Friend who is coming has asked to bring a mate as the friend wants to stay at their mate's house.

On the original invite I did invite friend and her boyfriend but unfortunately her boyfriend can't come.

I don't know my friend's mate at all and we aren't having a massive wedding.

Would it be mean to say friend is very welcome to come to the evening for dancing and buffet part of wedding (it means that I will not have to revisit the seating plan or up my cost for canapés, reception drinks, dinner and wine with dinner - budget is a factor!)

Thanks in advance :)

YANBU. Invite to the evening bit.

YANBU, evening only.

Definitely not unreasonable. You should know everyone at your wedding if it's small.

It's 3 weeks away so I don't think you'd be unreasonable in saying that the table plans are all done for the day but they can come to the evening. If it's someone you don't know I think that's a fair compromise.

No not unreasonable at all. That said, if you'd already included the boyfriend in your initial plans why can't friend's mate effectively take his place?

Evening do is fine.

be prepared for them to now decline the full invitation.

Yanbu. I'd say evening invite. I hat this. Same thing happened to us although in advance asking if someone can replace someone who can't come is all good. I had a couple of people call me the day before when they had originally declined. Table plans had all been finalised obviously. It wasn't a bloody birthday party!

Yes, invite to evening only. If friend questions it as originally boyfriend invited for whole thing then say his space has now been taken by great aunty maude or cousing wilbur etc.

cousin wilbur

Thanks all.

Just want to clarify I knew friend's boyfriend wasn't coming at the point of RSVP back in August which is why the mate is not just a straight replacement.

Just text friend and she seems happy with evening for her mate. Fingers crossed this is as bad as it gets... Thoughts of redoing the table plan do not fill me with joy.

Yes evening was the right decision and not just because of table plan and meals etc.

There may be someone who finds out after that mate went and perhaps they were only at evening do and wonder why they weren't invited to main event when this person was.

I am glad your friend has taken the reasonable stance too. Have a lovely wedding!

Evening do is fine.