i look after my friends ds

[nikcola]

they are in the same class at school both aged 5 and are quite good friends.
his mom my friend of about a year works 3.15 till 5.30 at the school mon to fri ao i pick both kids back to mine every day not a problem as he is well beahved and a ncie boy.
i dont take any money as its a favour and wouldnt be worth her working if she had to pay someone. but a few months ago she offered me £25 a month to cover the cost of any food he eats (we dont have dinner till 6pm so he eats at home)
i refused the money and asked if she could get him an annual pass to the place that i take dd to quite often after school a local farm which we have annnual passes to it has a massive indoor playbarn and is open till 6.30pm so it stops dd getting bored. the pass costs £30 a year and you can go unlimmited times. i have taken her ds with us about 4 times after school and only once been offered money dont get me wrong i dont want to sound tight but im not flush im skinter than her. btw she said yes to getting him a pass this was in november.

im still waiting for her to get a pass and txt her on sunday to see if she was still getting him one to which had no reply saw her yes and today and no mention of it. her ds started crying today sayiong he wanted to go to the farm but his mom said she doesnt want to get him a pass . so shall i say something

sorry if it sounds trivial and if i has £30 i would buy it for him myself but cant afford it .

please advice will be greatfully recieved !

TBH I think it probably would have been better if you had accepted the money she offered so that would cover any costs. Its a difficult one as you are doing her a big favour- maybe this lad has got his wires crossed. Have a chat with her about it - don't mention that he has said anything just ask if she has got the pass yet as you would like to take them soon and you are a bit skint and can't afford to pay for her ds too.

Maybe you should have taken the £25 a month.
I think you need to have words because she is taking advantage. Maybe if she doesn't want to buy a pass, you can ask her to pay when you do want to take them instead?

I think its time for an honest chat. Just ask her if she is getting the pass or not and explain that its going to make things difficult for you if she doesn't so you might not be able to mind her little boy anymore. If you aren't aggressive about it she should be okay. Some people are just rubbish at organising themselves, there might be nothing in it more than that. If there is, you need to know so you can decide what to do.

i was thinking that i should of took the £25 too i might ring her tonight just dont want her to think im going on at her im not very good when it comes to asking friends for things.

When she offered you 25 a month for food was she hoping he'd have evening meals at your place and she'd pick him up afterwards? If she was willing to pay you 25 every month for snacks and drinks, she can obviously afford the 30 for the yearly pass.

Perhaps it is just a misunderstanding or she hasn't found time. You could call tonight, say you'll be taking the dc there tomorrow and if she wants, you can get him the yearly pass. Ask her to either give you the 30 tomorrow or if she prefers just the money for the one-off entrance. Point out that since you'll be taking your dc there regularly, it would be cheaper for her in the long-run to get the yearly ticket.

Perhaps she hadn't understood that you were planning on going there often. I do find it strange she didn't ask whether she owed you anything after you'd taken him there before.

the £25 was for drinks and snacks. i no she can afford it as it would def work out cheaper for her to get a £30 pass then give me £25 each month .
i also had to buy a booster seat for her ds as sometimes he comes in the car with us like when her and me and my dd and her ds go places in the holidays as i felt uncomfortable with him in my car without a seat and she kept forgetting his booster seat and leaving it in her partners car when he went to work. i honestly dont want to sound tight or bitchy hope it doesnt come across like that x

no it doesn't at all come across like that. I've been trying to think who (if anyone) I could imagine helping me out regularly like that so I could work 2 hours every afternoon. I can't think of anybody. Honestly. You're doing her a great favour but you need to get it sorted really otherwise you'll come to resent her the longer this goes on I should think, even with the best intentions in the world.

your right ill have a word with her tonight x ill let you no how i get on x thanks x

how did it go?

sorry forgot to reply i asked her and she was fine about it she is giving me the money on wed. so i worried for nothing

thanks xxx

I don’t think you should have been the one buying the booster seat tbh. In your friends position I’d feel very uncomfortable about that. I hope your good nature is not being taken advantage of.

The kids are 20 now so I doubt it matters