I'm not being unreasonable but how unreasonable is she - omg!

[TeeCee]

Broke the news to DP's brother, sister and his SIl.

SIL's reaction was to say 'oh my God you're not are you?'

Such is her fear I will have a boy (we currently have 2 girls each).

She thinks that she is seen as the outsider and I'm the golden DIL who can do no wrong. The FIL would love a grandson to carry on the family name and she is worried that I'll give him that so securing my position at the top of the ladder and making sure she doesn't stand a chance at being anythig other than the 'other' dil!

I actually get on ok with her after I pulled her aside in the summer and made her have it out with me (she had huge issues).

I was chatting to her all night and saying how for the reasons I want a 3rd child a girl may suit that position a little better but I really didn't mind and she said 'hmm yes and I want you to have a girl too but for different reasons'.

I did feel quite sorry for her and appreciated how she felt up unil this point.
Now I just think Oh get over it already! Can't you just be happy for me / us and set aside your mad insecurities for a moment?

I'm glad that you can see that she is the one with the problems, though, not you. Shame she can't be happy for you, though .

She sounds incredibly insecure and childish - what a pity she can't just be happy for you.

Congratulations, by the way

Shame she can't be happy full stop tbh!

It's nice being the favourite DIL isn't it !!!
BTW glad to see that you recognise that she's the one with the issues.

How utterly pathetic. Mind due I would feel sorry for someone who is so insecure she beleives her value is merely indicated by the offspring she produces.

How can you be so insecure, with regard to your position as a DIL that you worry that the other DIl will providee a son for the family.
How do pother peoples minds work fgs?

due = you .

Oh I totally see this is all about her and do a feel a little sorry for her tbh and I wish she didn't feel so insecure. I'd like her to be happy.

She has an incredibly bright 5 year old and I sometimes find it painful that my 5 year old (who has Down's syndrome) struggles massivley with everything while hers is a talented drawer, reads wonderfully well, is incredibly bright etc etc.

It really, really hurts, most of the time, like a someone squeezing my heart, but i would never ever dream of vocalising that.
It's just how it is and I celebrate her DD's brightness all the time, often saying 'wow, and shes' only 5, she's such a bright girl'. I put my own hurt at my DD not being able to recognise her own name away and deal with it quietly on my own.

Shame she can't do the same.

It is a shame she can't do the same isn't it. I think if I was you I would try really hard to not be annoyed by it (although I would totally be annoyed myself) and just feel sorry for her. She must be very insecure. I have a friend who reacted like this when I told her I was expecting ds2

"oh my god you will be really fat in the summer"

These were her very first words to me. I have known her since I was 4 and she is godmother to ds1. I felt annoyed for about a day. She had 2 children and I had 1 at that time. She has always been insecure that I have a better job, bigger house, husband has better job etc. In her own world she was better because she had 2 children and she couldn't stand the thought I was catching up. Its insane I know but I have come to realise it is all about her and I would be so miserable to spend my life worrying about what other people have got compared to me so I just feel really sorry for her. She must be really unhappy with her lot in life.

So just shrug it off, she'll get over it.

She's a loon.

I'm really not annoyed. I'm upset for her. It must be shit to feel so insecure. And actually I'm glad she could be honest with me about it. I plan to continue to do what I can to make her feel less insecure within the family group.

Now you know why you are the favourite DIL

LOL

You really are a nice person TC......

Any chance that she will now go all out for no. 3 herself?

LOL and thanks imafairy, I'm not really thought .

Freckle - I wondered the same tbh and asked her if she'd like 3. She said no, she didn't ever want any. She hated the time in her life when she had babies but now they are older she's starting to enjoy it and desn't want to go back. However she says her DH would be delighted if she fell pregnant. So who knows.

She sounds pathetic tbh,why can't she just be pleased for you, outwardly at least ! on your behalf

How terribly sad to feel that way.

It shouldnt be your burden though.

But, I can say that, knowing that I'm the favourite DIL in our situation

if you were a "beatch" you could actually say that to her

"Look DSIL" "I'm so extremely sorry you're this insecure"

Well I am definitely not the favourite dil but I am the only one with any sons.........a fact that I am sure really pisses off my f/mil
congrats to you, and also you will get funny comments whenever/however you tell some people you are pg.....am currently expecting baby no5 and some of the things people have said

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Reported for ZOMBIE thread