To stop using childminder until this child from hell leaves her care?

[WarholsLittleQueen]

I have a fab childminder who looks after my youngest DD who is 2.6 and she has been going to her since she was 6 months old. DD adores her and CM is a lovely person, and DD absolutely thrives in her care.

However a couple of weeks ago a new child started in CM's care. She is looking after him as a favour to a friend and says it will be temporary. This child is 5 years old and has already been expelled from school. He is constantly so naughty and violent, throws things, screams and shouts, has tantrums like a toddler, and is generally an absolute nightmare. I have even seen him punching, pushing and kicking CM I do not know why she takes it...If a child hit me even once I would tell her "friend" she needs to take him elsewhere or sort him out another school. (I cant believe a 5 year old child can even be expelled and wonder if there is more to it, but there you go)

My DD seems frightened of him, she clings to me when we arrive in the morning and doesn't want me to leave, which is unusual until this boy started there. And she often mentions him at home, saying things like xxxx is naughty.

I don't want DD around him. CM would never willingly let anything happen to any of the children in her care but imagine if she wasn't looking for a second and the child punched or hurt DD?? or any of the other toddlers, while DD is there, CM looks after a total of 3 babies/toddlers and this boy.

I would struggle for alternative care but I am self employed so fairly flexible and would just have to find a way. I also would feel bad as my CM would lose money but maybe it will make her realise she needs to get shot of this kid!

I wouldn't ledge my DC there.

Leave

I think you need to talk to cm and say since the boy arrived your child has been unsettled and Cries when you leave her there

How temporary is it ?

How do the other parents feel?

And yes I would remove till child goes but easier said then done if you have to work and can't find childcare

If child has been permanently excluded then LEA should be providing alternative provision within six days so he may well have moved on before you need to find alternative care. I wouldn't want my childminder though to be freely discussing the needs or behaviours of a child in their care with other parents. It seems pretty unprofessional to me and breaching confidentiality of their mindees and something I would be considering too.

I wouldn't want my childminder though to be freely discussing the needs or behaviours of a child in their care with other parents

Who said she did?

It's not a secret is it? DD says things OP has witnessed it.

Why would anyone want their child in this situation? You pay for care and she's witnessing violence - I'm sure the atmosphere isn't great ....

Tell you childminder that this situation isn't working and ask when it's likely to change. If it's on going then consider moving DD

If the child has been permanently excluded from a state school, then as a PP said, the LEA must provide alternative provision from the sixth day of exclusion;

"For permanent exclusions, the local authority must arrange suitable full-time education for the pupil to begin no later than the sixth day of the exclusion. This will be the pupil's ‘home authority’ in cases where the school is maintained by (or located within) a different local authority."

So the child should be moving on asap if he has indeed been excluded.

I think you should say to your CM how much you value her, but that you aren't at all comfortable with this situation, and ask exactly how long it will be continuing as you've noticed a change in your child. Give her a chance to sort it, if she doesn't then find another placement. If he is violent, you can't take that risk and in honesty, he's probably taking a very big chunk of their time and attention. A child with behavioural issues shouldn't be just dumped on a CM, that is no solution unless he's been completely withdrawn from the education system by the parents. It does sound a bit strange. I had a DD with adhd that we withdrew from school and had a lot of people to prove we were educating her to!

I doubt that you are the only parent feeling the same and I am surprised that the CM is risking her business in this way.

I would be finding alternative care in this situation but speak to your CM on collection, she might be wavering on her decision to keep looking after him and you could help make that decision for her.

Albeit it temporary this could go on a long time as finding school places is though in a lot of cases.

Find someone else, your DD's safety is more important that your CM's feelings

100% this

If she has an assistant that changes the situation. She isn't likely to leave the children unsupervised and he may well be one to one supervised if both are present. He hasn't caused a problem so far but you can ask what the risk assessment is. It might limit what she can do with the younger children though.

I once took on a child with SN who had been excluded from nursery. He was headbutting, hitting, kicking, non-verbal and totally out of control - so they said when they claimed a childminder would suit him better . Many of the other parents had complained, apparently.

4 years on, he's still with us. His behaviour dramatically improved after those first couple of weeks and we were able to provide much closer supervision because there are 2 of us and smaller ratios. Our parents were very supportive.

I would talk to your childminder and raise your concerns about your daughter. You do have a right to know how she is keeping your daughter safe. Your CM has an assistant, so I think she is probably able to cope.
But don't expect her to remove this child solely on the basis on a parent's complaint about perceived behaviour.

cODYKING oP HERSELF DID "Plus CM is always saying about how stressed he is with the situation / him and telling me what he has been doing. "

Sorry caps lock stuck
will try again
Codyking OP herself did "Plus CM is always saying about how stressed he is with the situation / him and telling me what he has been doing."

I agree, appalling that she's discussing his behaviour with you so openly. She should have a confidentiality policy and this would be in breach of that. Also not good that she's so honest about being stressed, I would never allow a parent to think I was stressed! Find another childminder for those reasons but I've had similar experience to Tanith. The little boy with sen that I took on, after a bumpy start, became an absolute pleasure.

I would tell CM that while the boy is there, my dd would not be. Apologetically and all that, of course. It may be what she needs to say to her friend that she's losing business and cannot have her boy any more. She's probably gagging for an excuse.

I'd have already pulled her out and told her why.

I also would feel bad as my CM would lose money but maybe it will make her realise she needs to get shot of this kid!

Don't worry about that, you'll be contractually obliged to pay during any unagreed absense or during your notice period, unless there has been a specific incidence of negligence or malpractice.

If you're worried about her provision of care you report her. If you think children are at risk in her care then you probably should. You can absolutely remove your child but you will be committed to the financial terms of your contract.