to not get involved in this ridiculous mess of office politics?

[officebairn]

I don't even know where to start but I have to write it down because it's becoming unbearable for me at work. The office politics are at an all time high and I need a way out.

Back story - Me and DH work for same company (but not same office) and have limited contact at work. His best friend at work (let's call him Greg) and a new girl in our office (Tess) have started sleeping together. Greg has told DH and Tess has told me. It's supposed to be a huge secret, but believe me, it isn't everyone knows.

Greg has a long term gf who we have all met and all really like. He openly talks about her often when visiting our office (he's constantly between offices). So naturally I thought Tess knew. But she didn't and when we got talking about it she got really upset and feels v. betrayed, hurt, etc. She had it out with Greg who now seems to have poisoned the entire office against me as a liar(?) and a stir and a gossip. When in reality, at my age and in my department it couldn't be further from the truth.

Now day by day, the bitching is getting worse. Tess and her friend(s) are sniggering, bitching, commenting (loudly) about me and this has never happened to me before. It honestly reminds me of being back in high school which I hate.

I have been ignoring everything, not engaging with her, him or anyone else involved and getting on with my work until today when yet another slight on me caused me to lose my cool and shout at her.

How can I stop all this and how can I get away from the situation? It's making me miserable and affecting my actual work.

It does sound as though they have convinced everyone that Op was shit stirring, doesn't it?

Not that that excuses their bullying, of course.

I've let this go before and it was the worst decision. I thought it would blow over and that I was taking the higher road but it just meant I was talked about and treated like rubbish. I'd be waaaay more outspoken now. How about, "It's not really my fault you've been shagging XXXX, is it?" Stick up for yourself! I wish I had X

The OP could only be causing trouble if she was telling lies, though. She was told by this woman that she was sleeping with a man in the office. She mentioned the man's girlfriend - the woman hadn't known about it. And now the OP is causing trouble? I don't think so!

Tell Greg's long term girlfriend?

I've been bullied at work before (as a manager) and it was hell. I agree with the suggestion of facing it head on, and discovering the big golden balls you never knew you had.

I agree with either the suggestion to speak with Tess directly and tell her you are keeping a log, and if it doesn't stop you'll be taking it to HR (downside is this gives her a chance to get her ducks in a row if she doesn't plan to stop)

Alternative that I like is to book a meeting room with your line manager, Tess & her manager if different and to outline what has gone on. A pre-prepared agenda / timeline with examples for circulation within the meeting would be useful.

Greg is a dick, and so is your DH if he continues to be mates with him.

I also like the idea of ensuring the long-term girlfriend finds out, although you would need to be several steps away from it.

Thanks so much for the advice, I was in a mess yesterday but today I'm on Cloud 9! Took the bull by the horns and spoke to the boss this morning, only just come out of the meeting. My boss was horrified and apologetic, said he wishes I'd told him all this was going on sooner and has given Tess her final warning (there have been other complaints that I wasn't aware of!) and assured me it won't be happening anymore. Plus he's seperated our work so that I'm no longer reliant on her/her department for that certain bit and I can get on with my stuff now without having to be around them (woohoo!)

What action is being taken against Greg? He sounds like the one who starte date bullying?

Sounds like a good result for you. Make sure you keep your boss updated if Tess decides to have another go at you, now that she's been pulled up on it.

Result! I love good managers!

If Tess is new she's a bit dim marking her card by getting complaints and warnings!

Hopefully this will be an end to it, however if she is fired (she could make a scene in the office) or says anything else in the meantime then back to the manager and report her.

Dilly sounds as if Greg has been a twat and is generally but if it isn't affecting his work I doubt there's much they can do! Tess however with her bullying can affect work esp OPs.

Well done that manager.
Doesn't sound like Tess will be sticking around for long.

Well done op. I bet you feel 10 x lighter!

I think you need a celebratory bottle glass of when you finish today.