to think you don't text people when you'd expect them to be asleep?

[bibbitybobbityyhat]

I have terrible insomnia and have been awake since 3am . I was actually just drifting back to sleep at 5am when I received a text from a friend!! So that's me woken up for the day. I can't think why you would do that?

You do know you can have specific settings for different numbers? So you can set up a VIP list for all your family numbers that might need to call you.

No, I can't actually.

But if I could that wouldn't help if my teen called from hospital, or on a friend's phone etc.

I don't mind getting texts at any time of night, so I'm not moaning.

The nature of an emergency is that you don't know in advance what might happen, who might call you, or what number they might use.

A lot of people on this thread seem to think that knowing the word "asynchronous" means you don't need to know anything else aboyt a mide if communication, or how it is typically used.

Text message alerts are loud and sound as soon as the message arrives. This is because they are intended to interrupt and get almost immediate attention.

There are other forms of electronic communication that are asynchronous but far less likely to disturb. E-mail is a far better use case for non-urgent chatty messages late at night.

It is so stupid and rude to insist thst people must programme theur phones to enable you to send texts without even basic consideration of what the recipient might prefer.

Your communication needs a lot of work if something so basic is beyond you.

By the logic of many on here, all phonecalls are also asynchronous, because most people have voicemail. So it is totally fine to ring in the middle of the night and just tough shit on the person you disturbed that they answered their phone instead of managing their notifications according to your made up obnoxious rules.

The nature of an emergency is that you don't know in advance what might happen, who might call you, or what number they might use.

So leave your ringer on but turn off text alerts FFS - by far the easiest thing to do rather than getting pissed off at people who text you!

Phone off then. YABU.

If the other person knows you had insomnia, and if they texted you at 3am then YANBU. I have a basic phone and use it as an alarm clock, I get fed up of cold callers but cant do much about them.
I cant turn my phone off because of emergency calls. so I now have to buy a second phone and hope the cold callers aodnt get that number.

It seems to be a trop here at the moment that we are not allowed to have boundaries or object to anything.

DoinIt text message alerts are only loud if thats how you set them. Are you of the opinion texts are never delayed and always arrive as soon as they are sent?

I leave my ringer turned up at night in case my mother presses her alarm. I always have text notification on silent though, even during the day.

See I go by no texts if I think their asleep but send it via fb instead. If their already up they'll see it and respond if not they'll get it when they wake. If I don't think they've seen it when they're up i can send it as a text then or tell them to check fb. It's much easier

I work nights and get disturbed by people ringing texting me when I'm trying to sleep in the day, it pisses me off no end. Have to have my phone on in case of school needing to contact me.

DoinItFine, why is email any better than a text message? Either one would wake me up if I didn't silence my phone alerts overnight.

I reject your attempt to muddy the waters around what is synchronous and what is asynchronous. Making a phonecall to someone is a sign that you want them to be disturbed from what they are doing to have an immediate conversation with you (because that's how a phonecall works). Sending a voice message directly to their mailbox would be asynchronous.

SYNCHRONOUS (Immediate 2-way conversation requiring attention of both individuals at the same time - needs an immediate alert to the other party to allow it to happen)

Phonecall to mobile
Phonecall to landline
FaceTime
Face to face conversation

ASYNCHRONOUS (Disconnected messages which may be delivered immediately, soon, later, or possibly never, and don't require the recipient to be "involved" at the same time as the sender. Can be sent at any time because you're not demanding an immediate response. Recipient chooses when to read them and if and how they are alerted to their presence)

Text message
Email
Social media inbox message
Voice message sent directly to voicemail or via social media
Postcard

Again, if someone is trying to shift the onus of managing alerts for asynchronous messages from the recipient to the sender, they are being unreasonable, but a charitable sender might choose to respect their demands as best as possible, for the sake of peace and harmony. But let's not have it become the standard! (Luckily things seem to not be heading in that direction).

I think that texts are different to emails because surely nobody sleeps with their phone settings set so they're totally at the mercy of random emailers to wake them up? Whereas clearly some people do leave texts on.

I like to have my phone on my bedside table charging up overnight. I do have an alarm clock, but I do like to use my phone for that too.

The only person I will text or Whatsapp at all hours is my student DD1, who keeps typical student hours. I certainly don't send them out willy nilly as not everyone uses their DND settings or even knows they have them.

I have never had a problem with unwanted texts arriving at night, but I know how to use DND if that changes.

I think that texts are different to emails because surely nobody sleeps with their phone settings set so they're totally at the mercy of random emailers to wake them up? Whereas clearly some people do leave texts on.

Why?

During the day my email makes a noise. During the night it doesn't. Same for texts.

No one ever texts in an emergency so you've got to be pretty obstinate to suggest everyone should only text when you want them too and not wake you up, because you can't be arsed to turn off text notifications.

I think the only possible solution is to never send a text unless you know for an absolute fact what that the other person is awake. Which unless you're with them you won't. Best to just not text....

agree it is easy to have your phone profile set so calls get through but texts are silent

I definitely think about the times I text, and rarely think to silence my phone ( it'd be on silent constantly if i did, coz I'm rubbish) I'd be well peeved but to be fair, I am, often!

i got into the habit of turning my phone to silent at night. my alarm still works though. in the morning when i turn the alarm off i wake myself up trying to turn the sound back on. win win

Minipie

On the do not disturb on your iPhone there is an OPTION to enable your phone to allow calls to get through after the second ring when your phones on silent.

It is an option you have to select this option!

I'd never send a text when you'd expect people to be sleeping, and I wouldn't appreciate being sent one either. I work shifts, so I could easily be in bed by 8:30pm. I've only a basic phone, so it can't do anything fancy. I now turn it off completely at night. If there's an emergency, there's the landline people can use.

OP - there are so many ways to resolve this, but the best one is probably this -
Turn your text notifications off at night. If someone calls in an emergency or you need to make an emergency call you will be able to respond/make the call.

To be honest you should probably just get an alarm clock.

If your phone is on you can't complain that it makes a noise!!

But when people work shifts, how do you know when they might be sleeping - you don't. Hence why it is much more sensible to control the noises your own phone makes.

"But when people work shifts, how do you know when they might be sleeping - you don't. Hence why it is much more sensible to control the noises your own phone makes."

No. You go by the normal understanding of anti-social hours. I don't hoover or use the washing machine in the middle of the night to avoid disturbing the neighbours. I'm afraid it would be touch luck if one of them was a night worker.

"DoinItFine, why is email any better than a text message? Either one would wake me up if I didn't silence my phone alerts overnight."

I didn't think most people had a sound alert for email?