to think you don't text people when you'd expect them to be asleep?

[bibbitybobbityyhat]

I have terrible insomnia and have been awake since 3am . I was actually just drifting back to sleep at 5am when I received a text from a friend!! So that's me woken up for the day. I can't think why you would do that?

Lots of incredibly twattish views are commonly held, that is no argument.

You can tell it is a twattish vew when someone justifies doing something likely to inconvenience orvannoy someone else by saying it is their own fault.

Just because text messages are asynchronous does not mean they are not intended to grab immediate attention.

Otherwise it would be standard to check your texts at paticular times of the day, rather than be disturbed by them.

Uf you want to cmunate with someone via a text-based medium at any time of the day or night, then there is e-mail for that.

Given that that is a common view, you don't have to be a "twat" not to think about whether it's going to be a good time for the other person to receive a text

None of those saying it's ok to text any time and now reading that lots of people don't agree are changing their point of view though. They are still saying its up to the receiver to manage their phone settings. That is twatish. People are giving good reasons why it's not ok for them.

That's interesting pink - now I come to think of it I can't ever remember bank, phone company etc ever texting me in the middle of the night. If they did they'd get one warning before I switched account - that's how much I hate being woken up! Early morning yes - say 7am for a delivery, which is fair enough I suppose if it's due in the next hour.

Timeforhereoes, not all phones can do that - mine can't, and I don't want to use a smart phone for mobile calls.

Texts and alerts on silent always
Ringer switched off at night
When ds goes away with his dad I have do not disturb on with the relevant phone numbers saved as favourites so they always ring. Not difficult.

Silent and do not disturb are your friends.

I don't text after 11 or before 7 but on occasion my watsapps haven't gone through until the middle of the night- maybe my wifi or maybe there's. Sa me with receiving some. So I always put on silent and turn face down so the light flash doesn't annoy.

"I remember when I was a new teacher the TA I was working with went ballistic because I sent her a text at 10pm on a Sat night"

10pm is quite early to be in bed. My boss sent me a text at 4am once. I was NOT happy, though I didn't dare say anything to her as she was my boss. I just seethed inside.
I don't think it should be up to me to have to remember to change my phone settings all the time. People just shouldn't text in the middle of the night.
If you need to get something off your chest, use email as that usually doesn't make a notification noise on the phone.

Having said that I wouldn't text at unsociable times as a rule (I text a friend before 8am on a Sunday once and got a mouthful, I forget about people having lie ins!)

I actually don't mind my friends or family texting me whenever they feel like most of them wouldn't dream of texting at anti-social hours and if they did I'd assume a valid reason. It's work texts at inappropriate times I object too I've had texts at 11.30 saying not coming to group tomorrow and then 6.15 the next morning saying same from someone else. I have changed my setting now as the above advice suggests but honestly I still think.those people are selfish, unthinking numpties.

Texting is asynchronous communication.

You send it when it's convenient for you. They reply when it's convenient for them.

Expecting people to not text at certain times of day is as unreasonable as expecting people to reply to texts immediately.

I don't think it's an age thing as I'm definitely old and also have a rule "my mobile is my servant , I am not its slave" .

Texts are like emails, to be read when convenient and smartphones are so widespread now I don't think it's unreasonable to expect people to use basic functions like DND. If I know someone is absolutely clueless with technology then I'd be aware that they may not have DND and avoid very early very late but the default for me is if you have a smartphone you know how to use the basic functions. Many of my friends are on entirely different schedules to me as I work shift and some are in different time zones so often I will be texting at times some people would deem antisocial . If you own technology it isn't unreasonable to expect you to know how to use it and have it set up appropriately to your needs .

BTW I can't have it on silent because what if a relative needs me during the night in an emergency and I didn't realise because my phone was on silent?

Kerching!

Phone setting bingo.

You do know you can have specific settings for different numbers? So you can set up a VIP list for all your family numbers that might need to call you.

Or just leave ringer on noisy but turn off text alerts.

DND is my non-existent friend PGP! My mobile is 'silent/vibrate/flight or noise' - no other features. I realise my cheapie phone is a minority taste....

Though as I say, I don't actually get any middle of the night texts so not a practical problem for me.

I agree that it is rude and unsociable to text at 'unreasonable' times but I accept that I am very old fashioned and don't see the need for excessive communication.

I am not glued to my phone though and perhaps my friends are a lot more courteous that most as I rarely get texts at 'unsociable times.

That's a pain Ciutadella.

Does it have apps function? You can download something similar if you do get issues.

It's been a great friend for me. I have a file member in and out of hospital so sometimes she will text at random hours because the drugs confuse her. She is on dnd while her dp is off it so if theres a worry I get it.

Seems to me the most twattish thing is to own a phone you don't understand how to use but then if you are the type not to get along with technology then the odds are your friends are too so you are likely to follow the same conventions anyway.

I agree it is rude but it seems opinions are divided. I have my phone on silent now at night time as the text tone wakes my baby up - even though he doesn't wake with hoovering, dog barking, house alarm going off

You do know you can have specific settings for different numbers? So you can set up a VIP list for all your family numbers that might need to call you

Doesn't work for calls from withheld numbers like hospitals, or police. Anyway it's entirely up to the individual, if they don't want to receive texts in the night, don't text them. If you aren't 100% certain it won't disturb them it's rude and inconsiderate.

Yello what if you don't have selective DND, and can't switch off texts only (ie you're silent or noisy, no frills). I realise it's a minority, but those phones are still on sale and I have one! (And don't want to change)

I have friends all over the world. They send messages when convenient for them and I read when convenient for me. I think most people would assume that you ensure your phone does not disturb you by managing the settings accordingly.

I txt people at any time of day or night! I've never even considered it might wake people up because I, myself use do not disturb at night. It's definitely something to think about and I shall endeavour not to text people late at night anymore, it has honestly never crossed my mind before.

I think it might be a generational thing, actually. If you see mobiles as basically landlines that you can carry about with you, then I can understand why you might be surprised at someone texting at night. Lots of people don't use their phones this way though.

I don't have a tone playing when I get a text. I can't leave it on silent just in case anyone needs to get hold of me in an emergency so that works well.

No apps PGP, it's not a smart phone (nor do I want it to be).

So it's not that I don't understand the technology, I just don't have it on my mobile!

Though I think it is a little unreasonable to use the terminology used below by one pp, about people who don't understand how to use their phones - they don't deserve quite that level of opprobrium, surely?!

Think that like Ragwort I am now pretty old fashioned in some things. As long as people don't text me in the middle of the night I am happy in my old fashioned ness though.

I agree with myown. I think it is a generational thing. I am young (ish) and in a couple of whatsapp groups that continue through the night, plus my sister works until 11pm and then goes home and will often text me, or send me articles to read or whatever at night. I also work shifts, so am in bed and awake at odd times. I often wake up to a phone full of notifications, so I just have it on do not disturb overnight. However I would never text my DM (she is in her sixties) during the night, because I know it would wake her up.

To the people with cheap phones that don't have DND, what crappy phone are you using I remember my parents ancient nokia phone having a similar feature! It's not an advanced feature only available on the latest high end mobiles, if your to cheap to buy a phone that you can't control in a basic way then it's your problem not mine. You could probably get an old iPhone or similar from a friend or family member if money's tight.

And in an emergency I'm pretty sure the hospital staff would be aware of DND and know to call a few times to get passed it.