To be upset at this work incident?

[WTAFF]

I don't know if I am over-reacting but I'm a bit upset and wanted some opinions if possible please.

I bumped into one of my colleagues this afternoon. He is someone who I have always said hello to in passing but haven't really ever had much conversation with. He has always been really pleasant and happy.

He works two days a week at our organisation collecting the post as part of a community scheme for people with learning disabilities.

Today when I walked past him I said hello as usual but he grabbed me into a very tight bear hug and was running his hands up and down my body while trying to kiss me on the lips. I managed to deflect him onto my cheek.

The whole thing happened very quickly and I managed to run off quite soon after but I feel a bit upset about the whole situation.

I'm sure he didn't have any bad intentions and I don't want to mention this to my line manager or anything like that, as i don't want to get him in any trouble but I am a bit worried about how to deal with any potential repeat of this situation the next time I see him. I am VERY bad at dealing with any form of conflict and have a hard job saying no to people about anything.

Any advice would be welcomed.

Sorry, your third para isn't clear - do you mean he has a role out collecting money from members of the public? Then you have even more reason to report it. Be brave - this isn't about getting into a conflict situation, this is helping an individual moderate their behaviour. You must report it. And your colleague is a dick.

Hope you're ok.

I've left work for the day and I'm going to go and do a little retail therapy at my local shopping centre.

I'm still a bit 'icked' out (IYKWIM) but I'm sure I will feel better about it tomorrow.

Lonny - no he doesn't handle money. Each office has a post tray for letters to go out in the post and he collects the letters by putting them in his trolley and then delivers them to the post room in th basement.

Thanks everyone for your support. I nearly burst into tears when my colleague said I was over-reacting. He then had the cheek to tell me to stop looking so miserable.

I have emailed my manager so hopefully it will be dealt with sensitively, as like I say he has always seemed like a nice person. I'm sure he didn't want me to feel upset.

TBH I might mention your colleague's reaction to HR/your manager too. He could do with some awareness training.

You absolutely did the right thing. Please don't be upset with yourself

I need to just get myself a grip really!

If your colleague told you this then he / she is a prize idiot!

Please do report this, for the sake of the colleague with LD as much as anything else. If he needs extra help and support in understanding boundaries then it is better this is flagged up before something happens which gets him in to serious trouble.

And however understanding you are about this it must have been a very unsettling experience for you. YANB at all U for feeling upset.

Your colleague is an idiot. Stop looking so miserable? Fuck me.

I have not read the whole thread only the OP but hopefully someone will have said that this is assault and possibly sexual harassment. You must report it to your manager and HR

Of course it was a sexual assault, but the poor man probably had no idea what he was doing.
You need to report this so he doesn't continue to do this.

I bet you are quite shaken and your colleague is out of order.
So sorry you have gone through this, it isn't your fault, sometimes this can happen when you are being nice, I've had this too in the past.

I'm glad you've reported it. Your other colleague is a dick.

I'm really glad you've told your line manager, absolutely the right thing to do - there's multiple issues that need dealing with here starting with asserting boundaries to the person who assaulted you.

Plus, you don't know if you were the first person and this can be nipped in the bud sensitively, or if you were him violating a final warning and he's been doing this to other people.

And as posters upthread have said, he may need clearer guidance on appropriate behaviour and by you doing him the kindness of alerting a manager even though it's an awkward situation, you've dealt with the sexual assault that happened to you as best you can and done a good turn to him and the hypothetical next person.

Gosh, sorry, I didn't read the OP properly If he lacks understanding of appropriate boundaries due to a LD then of course he's not a creep but he does need support to put those boundaries in place and the OP needs support to deal with being assaulted at work.

OP if something made you uncomfortable enough for it to be on your mind / give you a bad vibe & will potentially make any future interactions with this guy uncomfortable or worrying for you - then you need to speak up. It isn't something that you should just get over if it makes you feel 'icky'.

I understand your reluctance to say anything, but you need to think about it this way; not reporting this will mean this man will consider his behaviour acceptable (especially if he has LD and may not understand what he did was wrong).

He could potentially do this again (thinking it's okay). Surely in your workplace you've had safeguarding training? If so you will know it's your responsibility to speak up.

Oops - just spotted your post after skim reading the comments - glad you've said something OP

Your colleague who minimised was a man? Ignore him, as a man he has no idea.