5 year old asking questions about death....upset!

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To begin with...I am pregnant so a bit more sensitive and emotional than usual!

My son (5) started asking questions about dying recently.....and started saying things like "I'm not going to die for at least.......a year...." ( which I found really upsetting although of course rationally I understand that he just said that because for him a year is an unimaginably long time but of course as a pregnant mother I thought oh no I don't want my little boy to only be here for another year) we then talked about how death happens when people are much much older etc.

I just wanted some reassurance and hand holding really that other children say and ask similar things because I have a tendency when pregnant to panic that things are "signs" or "warnings" and feel quite distressed.

Hope that made sense! Please be gentle.....I'm not depressed or over anxious or anything....I am just one of those people who get emotional in pregnancy and struggles. I will go back to my rational self once baby is born....but just right now I could do with some reassurance.

MrsMook on a similar theme, I was explainin to the DC about putting animals down and how it is the right thing to do sometimes and DD pipes up "why doesn't that happen with people"....

I have been pretty open with the DC about death not least because my DSIS died before they were born but I want them to know about her, but there was some sidestepping from that question I can tell you!

OP glad you are feeling better, little DC do really see these things in quite mechanical and binary ways!

Yes, I think it is very normal. I have 3 dc (currently 8,6 and 5) and have had all sorts of comments. My eldest wrote his full name out with the year of his birth to this year and '7 years old', which REALLY freaked me out, as it was so much like a gravestone. Luckily he is 8 now, so I can stop worrying!!

My dad died earlier this year, so there has unfortunately been a lot of discussion about death this year. The most alarming comment came from my youngest - 'my grandad died and now he's in a box' (another time with extra feeling), 'he's dead in a box!'.

We also had to have a discussion after they had done a minutes silence at school following the Paris attacks and my youngest was convinced you went to Paris when it was time to die (like a sort of elephant's graveyard).

Quite normal and especially at this age. It's a tough patch to go through and it's also tough to handle as they desperately want reassurance but also want cast iron guarantees no one will die and want to know exactly how long you'll live, and whether they'll die at the same time etc etc.

After a couple of days of bedtime tears with DS1 about this topic when he started school, we decided to talk about heaven despite not being religious. It helped a lot as DS1 was so frightened by the concept of death being the end of everything. Now he's older we're introducing the idea that we don't know what's after death, that different people believe different things, and in fact there may be nothing after death - he's much more ready to have that conversation now. Not the right approach for all children but worked for us.

When DD was about 4 she would ask questions about death. I remember her asking me what happened to people when they died. I decided to side step any heaven stuff and just told her that sometimes their bodies are buried and sometimes they are burned. After a short pause she asked me "What happens to their heads?" Gruesome. But she appeared to be not too traumatised by the idea.

normal. better than having to explain where grandma is though, when sitting on the front row of grandma's funeral.

Ds is 5 and only today he went through his occasional recitation of death.
Daddy will die first. Then you. Then . Then me.

It's as if he's confirming that he won't die until he's old.

Glad you're OK. My dc talks about death. We were just honest about it. Said it's usually very old people who die. Didn't make an issue about it. Death is normal.

DD1 became bothered about death at that age. In a number of fairy tales a mother dies so she picked it up that way.

Totally totally normal, would be odd if a child didn't make comments like that really. Nothing to worry about. Not a sign, glad you asked for input because it shows you know yourself that is not really the case, but just were still feeling a bit anxious and needed a bit of reassurance. You can definitely be reassured.

Agree with pp who said wait till the religion phase starts. Serves me right for sending DD too a catholic primary.

Oh boy, have we been there, and it was heartbreaking; nearly ended up crying when DS was crying, and asking will we be someone else's mummy/daddy in heaven and do they have phones up there.

Completely normal, but still :(