Dd1 has friends who are twins, they are aged 10. One of the twins has got into the school choir, one hasn't.
I saw the mother tonight (who I am friendly with - as in we chat when we see each other at child-related events) and she was absolutely fuming that one child was in and one was out. Now the one who didn't get in has apparently been crying all weekend about it, which obviously is upsetting for the mother, but she was basically ranting on and on and saying things like "people are only jumping on the bandwagon as the choir did so well last year". Both her dd's were in it last year and the year before, but as it is for junior age only, then there are new people eligible every year, so to my mind there are no guarantees.
At this point I should explain that the choir will be entered in a local Eisteddfod (Welsh cultural festival), if they do well they will go through to the regional one, and then to the national Eisteddfod if they do well enough in the regionals. Last year they came second in the nationals, which is apparently a big deal. Hard for me to understand what this really means, as I am not Welsh, and was not brought up in that circle, which is apparently v cliquey. The mother, however, was, and I get the feeling that it means more to her than just a children's singing competition.
She ended her rant saying that she was going to have a word with the teacher in charge of the choir and say that if ddA couldn't be in the choir, then she was going to withdraw ddB . I find this quite astonishing. I can understand being upset at the distress of your child, and perhaps being surprised that they didn't get in again after 2 years of being in it, but what sort of lesson is this teaching her children? If you don't get what you want, regardless of whether you are good enough or not, then moan until you get what you want, or 'take your ball home'.
If her ddA does get put into the choir, that will mean that someone else who has already been told they have been chosen will have to be removed (as there is a strict limit on the number of people). I almost pointed that out to her, but held my tongue.
I am a little less than impartial, as my dd2 has got in for the first time this year (first year she has been eligible), so in theory it could be her being chucked out to keep the mother happy...also, I don't like the insinuation that we are "jumping on the bandwagon". Dd2 likes singing, that's why she wanted to do it. However, if she hadn't got in, I would have comforted her, but wouldn't have let her dwell on it, and would have helped her to look on it as a lesson in life....
So, is she being unreasonable, or am I being too unsympathetic?