Long time lurker, first post.
It's been going on, on and off, for five years. And he hates when I say we "are just friends who have sex" - he says he loves me but I keep saying I don't think we would work as a proper couple. But I'm not the best judge of such things. Am socially awkward and tend to make misjudgements. Am wondering if I may be overlooking something potentially very good and solid?
I'm a single parent in my mid-thirties, 1 DS, age 10, currently doing a PhD with a scholarship. He is a divorced creative, nearly 50. 2 grown up DCs, doesn't make much money. However, he is gentle, kind, wise, supportive and patient. He is tall with unusual looks but has attractive features and looks after himself. He keeps his home beautifully, gives me tips on how to decorate mine and cooks for me when I visit. He is opinionated, political and clever. We both share a sweet tooth, the same sex drive and sex with him is the best I've had. We are both introverts and awkward as hell, but somewhat comfy together.
But there are issues: he is quite anal as well as a bit old fashioned in regards to parenting so realistically I don't think we could live together until DS is at least 18 and has his own life. I'm not sure if I would have another child but definitely would not have one with him as our approaches would be completely different. Also we are both currently renting and I am planning to work towards owning my own home - he is not interested in such things. He would support it but not actively help. He sometimes struggles financially so I would have to fund things like trips, whether to the theatre or a holiday. We are both quite solitary people and are not an integral part of each others lives.
Often I get fed up and start considering online dating or see an attractive man and wonder could be in store for me, if I was brave enough to step away. Could the grass really be greener elsewhere?