To be upset?

[Pawprintz]

I am a member of a group.

We meet every month.

Last week, the organiser announced that the next meeting will be devoted to the launch of one member's personal product. This would include the member selling the product.

I politely asked whether the launch should take place outside the normal meeting as then it wouldn't use up time usually spent on the activities the group engages in.

The organiser has accused me of being "unsupportive" of this member's efforts. Apparently, the member has left the group because she is so upset.

The organiser says that it is "her" group and she dictates the format.

She threw me out of the group. I apologised to her and the member who left and she has left me have "one last chance".

The reaction of both these women has stunned and upset me - I honestly thought my suggestion was reasonable.

All this discussion took place on FB and Messenger.

I feel so upset and wish I hadn't said anything...

It sounds like you don't think it's the correct forum for selling books, which I totally get. I think they over reacted. The purpose of the group should be defined in a Terms of Reference type of document. I have learnt though, that you just have to suck up some things you don't like. I find this hard as I have a very right and wrong view of things.

If you can get to at least speak on the phone, I would try and do that. You could back peddle and make out you wanted to make the meeting longer to accommodate her book!

Thanks, Bagina - I did actually suggest the meeting be extended but it didn't seem to help lol

I've been in touch with both women and they have accepted my apologies.

Yes, I think some times you have to suck it up...

So people do help a lot, so it's not that.

I think this is all just miscommunication. Possibly the suggestion of the meet up being longer didn't go down well either.

I think there is probably a bit of blame on all sides. It would be a shame if you let this one incident ruin this for you. Although I get why you wouldn't feel comfortable going.

If you do think she's a bit of an attention seeking type, launching and selling her books at group, when others don't, then stand by your views and be confident and go back. Don't say anything. Front it out. Just quietly think "twat" in your head. I think you just took on the wrong people.

Did anyone else think this was going to be a session spent where the group member sold their Forever Aloe Whatsit rubbish? Very disappointed it was a book at a writing club

CatNip2 - I was thinking something like 'Forever Living In Aloe Gel' at an AA meeting, after all it can cure anything

Haha - oh, believe me, I've had plenty of Forever Living type schemes offered to me!

I was about to say YABU if it turned out to be something daft or irrelevant to the group e.g. Forever Living at a WI group etc.

But I don't think there's a problem with a writer wanting to talk about her book at a writers' club! Surely you aren't obliged to buy it.

You were in the wrong. And if you had an issue with it, you should have just chosen not to attend that particular meeting. I would seriously consider not going back now as, even though you have apologised and they have accepted, it's not going to be the same now.

I think perhaps part of the meeting could have been spent on this woman's book or the meeting should have been extended, as suggested.

It's a bit much having to sit through someone's sales pitch.

I did think about not going back.

I think my feeling was that this kind of thing might set the precedent.

Anyway, I've ordered signed copies of the lady's book and going to donate a copy to my local library, so at least I can repair some of the damage.

It was just a shock to be kicked out of a group I've been part of for a very long time.

I think I should go back and see how I am greeted. If it's obvious I'm not welcome, I will move on.

It's kind of you to buy them but it sounds like one of those situations where you would be better staying away. Although you didn't intend to cause offence, if the author was upset enough that they left the group and you were thrown out (albeit temporarily) then it was obviously a big deal. And no amount of apologies or book purchases is likely to make them forget.