Advice Given on MN

[allyre]

Does anyone else ever think that some of the posters giving advice on MN would never actually do the thing they suggest. You know the ones, I would do this or that, say this or that. Do you think they themselves would actually do as they suggest to the people asking advice or if they had a similar issue?

Too variable to generalise.

If you think someone is giving duff advice, then the solution is at your fingertips. Post something better on the actual thread.

OP, LTB

"Move house"

Yeah ..... right ......

Nah, fru just have a spa day

THIS AGAIN

Call 101 for anything & everything.

It doesn't matter if they would or wouldn't do it themselves as long as it's good advice tbh

The thing I've seen a few times is legal advice being given that is wrong. Nothing wrong with stating your opinion or discussing something that happened to you but when people state this making it seem like they have legal knowledge, that could be very dangerous.

It does annoy me when posters say that if their DH cheated on them they'd throw them out. Speaking as someone who had to share a house with their ex while divorcing them because I couldn't afford to move out and, as the ex, owned half the house, couldn't make them leave.

Do you mean in the

"Well I certainly wouldn't put up with that!" and

"Well I most certainly would have told her to fuck off!"

kind of way?

In which case I agree with you OP - I bet most of us wouldn't say "Boo" to a goose!!!

I think a lot of the advice given on mumsnet is given with people thinking about themselves on their best days...

Like when I told myself this morning I'd get DS to nap in his pushchair and then I'd wash up....well DS is napping on my chest and I'm on mumsnet

I think in this respect MN is no different to real life. I'm sure we all know someone who is 'all mouth and no trousers', as the old saying goes.

''Oh i'd fuck them off out of it!'' being their standard advice to any given situation.

On a less extreme level lots of people are great at dishing out very sensible advice, but are the worst at taking it (me! ) Doesn't make their advice any less sound.

The nice thing about MN is that people often have been through the same or similar experience and are giving their "benefit of hindsight" advice.

Even if they didn't "eat their own dog-food" at the time, some advice is excellent and the OP has the chance to consider their dilemma from multiple perspectives.

Yes, Just this morning I've LTB, hired a nanny, supplemented my income by taking in ironing and becoming a childminder, moved to a bigger house, got an hours free advice from a solicitor, booked a spa weekend when the washing up wasn't done and (in a fit of MN 2012 retro fun when it was the must have birth accessory) hired a Douala to advocate for me ... and I'm not even pregnant. Anyone say I'm a liar and I'm calling 101 to get it logged, just in case.

I think the LTB advice often comes from people who have done exactly that and realised how much happier their life was afterwards.

I LTB after advice on here that made me realised this isn't just "how men are" and that actually some men are lovely! I have found one of the lovely ones and if have a moan on here about him and someone tells me to LTB I won't because I value him and our relationship too much. I'm not an idiot, I just needed it pointed out to me that I didn't have an obligation to stay with XH if I was unhappy.

If I come across someone on MN in a similar marriage to the one I had with my ex, bending over backwards to try and make him happy when he won't or can't do the same, too right I'll advise they leave.

LTB and all the accompanying 'get thee to a solicitor, get copies of paperwork, get your ducks in a row' shizzle is MN gold. It's the equivalent of He's Just Not That Into You. Such a simple concept but so very often overlooked as the solution.

It's not always easy, it definitely has it's down sides (only this weekend my DCs were complaining about having to uproot their lives and go to stay at their dad's and I said "I know it would be easier if we all still lived here together, but we don't, so we need to make the best of it") but we all know that the rest of the time is so much happier and calmer.

As for get a cleaner or a nanny - a lot of people don't think realise that a nanny is an option when they're looking into childcare options - it seems extravagant but actually when you have 3 DCs it makes sense.

Similarly, get a cleaner and get your useless OH to pay if he won't do his share. Many women wouldn't dream of doing this as it seems like it's 'their job' and OH has to help out. Once it's pointed out that anyone CAN do it and that if OH won't then it shouldn't automatically fall to OP, it's quite liberating!

Going NC seems like a big step, but I've tried cutting out negative people from my life and while it is initially uncomfortable, it is also very liberating. I feel like a great weight has been lifted when I no longer dread what that text is going to say.