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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

School have threatened to call the RSPCA.

282 replies

YappyYapster · 26/09/2016 15:59

I've name changed for this as it's potentially quite identifying.

DC started school this term. The first few days we realised that lots of people walk their dogs to school and leave them outside the gate. I thought this was a great idea so we've been taking our dog for the past couple of weeks.

I soon realised she yaps the entire time she's left so have kept the time to a minimum, I literally wait until the door opens and then run in with DC and come back. Maybe three or four minutes at the very most. We only take her in the mornings.

Last week was lovely, I was so pleased at the great routine we were all in, DC loves walking with the dog so it makes the school run a pleasure, the dog gets a walk at the same time every day so is calm and relaxed at home the rest of the day.

Today was a disaster. I came back to find a lady with her dogs pursing her lips at me and saying 'that poor dog is so distressed'. I said, oh I know she's yappy but she's not distressed, but I am working on training her to be quieter'. She then gave me a bit of a lecture on separation anxiety and lots of (well meant I'm sure) advice on how to train her, much of which I'm already doing.

I decided then not to bring her for a while until I could train her to sit quietly. I was quite sad about it, but resigned.

Got home and a while later I had a phone call from the school. Apparently several parents have complained and if I bring her again school will call the RSPCA.

I explained that I had already decided it wasn't working to bring her and she kept speaking over me and saying it's not fair on the children or the other dogs (fair enough) and that it's cruel to let her bark and they will report me if I carry on.

I am MORTIFIED.

I spent the whole afternoon crying. Barely managed the school run this afternoon but did it by keeping my head down and not making eye contact with anyone.

I have MH difficulties so may be taking this more personally than it is. But I feel awful that people think I'm some awful abusive dog owner and I really don't want to ever go back there. Obviously I have to. It's a small village school and I think I've blotted my copybook with them forever.

Sorry for the length of this, if you've managed to get through it all I applaud you.

My AIBU is, was I unreasonable to take her in the first place? Would you consider a yappy little dog to be distressed enough to call the RSPCA?

OP posts:
NoFuchsGiven · 27/09/2016 09:04

This thread has really shocked me, reading how many posters think it is acceptable to take a dog on the school run.

GingerbreadLatteToGo · 27/09/2016 09:32

& why wouldn't it be Fuchs?

RaspberryIce · 27/09/2016 12:39

Some people like me don't have a dog so aren't really aware of the issues. If i had a dog i would have researched it a lot and would know what was the right thing to do so might have replied differently.

NavyandWhite · 27/09/2016 13:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

maddiemookins16mum · 27/09/2016 13:34

The RSPCA will not do anything so don't panic about that. You gave it a try, it's not working but there's nothing to say it won't change and become possible in the future if appropriate. Hold your head up high and move forward, you've made a mistake, we all do, some kids and adults are scared of yappy dogs (especially if they don't really know them).

NoFuchsGiven · 27/09/2016 13:40

GingerbreadLatteToGo To me it just seems unnecessary but I am not a dog owner and I do not like dogs, I don't want to have to dodge dogs to get into the school gate and I don't think children should have to either.

I don't have that problem anymore as the school ds was at banned dogs from being tied up outside and he no longer attends there so makes no odds to me now.

I was just surprised at how many people think its ok with no thought to the other parents/dc who are scared of/allergic to or simply don't want to be near dogs.

t4nut · 27/09/2016 13:45

Provided the dog is not obstructing access to the school no one should worry about getting in. If you want to take her then do it and sod what the local busybodies say. Let the school phone the RSPCA - they'll get laughed at and learn not to be so ridiculous.

Mine yaps because she misses me if she gets tied up outside a shop for 3 minutes - she's a great big soft wuss.

NavyandWhite · 27/09/2016 13:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

t4nut · 27/09/2016 14:01

The school gets to say what happens on school property. Outside the school they have no say. Personally I don't like leaving mine where I can't see her, but if people are happy to tie dogs up for short periods where they are out of the way and not causing any nuisance or obstruction I can't see what the issue is.

honkinghaddock · 27/09/2016 14:28

Walking past a load of barking and yapping dogs is a stressful start to the day for a child who is scared of dogs or ( like mine) gets upset by the noise. I wouldn't think the owners were mistreating their dogs but I would think they were being inconsiderate of other children.

Topseyt · 27/09/2016 14:50

NoFuchs, it is perfectly fine to take a dog on the school run.

FFS, it is only walking them along a public road and footpath, where we and our dogs are as entitled to be as you are. If you don't like it stay at home.

NoFuchsGiven · 27/09/2016 14:53

Topseyt I do stay at home as stated in my last post, I no longer do the school runs. Like I said it does not matter to me one jot anymore.

GingerbreadLatteToGo · 27/09/2016 15:05

Fuchs. There's a big difference between 'taking the dog on the school run' & leaving it somewhere it won't bother anyone scared of dogs (walking along public footpaths is totally acceptable) & tying a dog up by the gate where the kids have to go past it. It's not the taking it, it's what oeople do when they get to the school that's the issue. Some people are considerate, others are not, like most things in life really.

The OP was considerate, she didn't tie the dog up near the gate and something tied up, the size of a hand bag, yapping for 5 minutes really isn't an issue - but of course someone has to make it one instead of just getting on with their own lives.

(💐 Hope you're ok, you sound a bit down)

Topseyt · 27/09/2016 15:27

My dogs went on many school runs, once my kids were of an age where it was no longer essential for me to go into the playground with them.

Blackfellpony · 27/09/2016 15:37

Don't worry about the RSPCA.

I wouldn't leave mine tied up for fear of someone touching them and being knocked over or hurt however unlikely... but it's not something I would get my knickers in a twist over seeing done.

Just tell child to ignore and walk past!

IrianOfW · 27/09/2016 15:44

Leave it until your child is old enough to take herself into class and walk out of class alone. Yes it's an overreaction but a lone, agitated dog and lots of people walking by is a recipe for disaster.

IsItJustFuck1ngMe · 27/09/2016 16:52

I have 2 Chihuahuas (and also a couple of 'proper dogs' before anyone calls me Paris Hilton!) they are both treat exactly the same, both live with us on the farm and run happily with the bigger dogs, but ONE is exceptionally clingy. ... and - if we nip into town and I dodge into a shop she will scream the street down until I re-emerge, even when held by my (blushing) Husband... . The other Chi is fine and couldnt give a toss.

I guess my point is some dogs are just wired that way, it's not necessarily breed (though that can be a factor) or how you raise them, and it's certainly not because you are somehow cruel!!!!

It's a shame really that these people have spoiled the opportunity for your dog to get out and about and maybe to start to learn that you do come back after a few minutes.

user1474627704 · 27/09/2016 17:19

I wouldn't care much about your dog being distressed, but I would be very pissed off at my young, terrified of dogs, child having to get past your yappy barking dog every single morning on their way into school. How is that fair to anyone?

TriniRedVelvet · 27/09/2016 17:39

I love dogs, but my dd is allergic. She tested level 5 in dog allergy (5 is the highest) so it bothers her when she sees a dog that is jumping and yapping where she needs to walk past. I've never complained about it but I can see why some might. A distressed dog can scratch a child if it jumps on them, or bite, or in the case of my dd bring on anaphylaxis. And some one could steal it or a child could accidentally hurt it.
Don't stress yourself through. You know now.

tempester28 · 27/09/2016 17:42

Chalk it up to experience, you tried it - it could be been a lovely routine but it hasn't worked out! There are dogs left at the school gates of our school (small placid ones) people do what you tried to do (walk children and dogs to school!) and it looks like a lovely way to do things for the children. I have to say I am not really a dog lover myself and I am a little wary of dogs. If your dog was large and scary then I think leaving it at the gate would be the wrong thing to end of story. However I think that you spoke to that lady and decided that it hadnt worked. The school seems to have jumped from A to D. They should have called you and said look Mrs yappyyapster there have been some complaints can you leave your dog at home please. And you could have said yes I am sorry, I have already relaised that it is not viable to bring the dog, I will of course leave the dog at home tomorrow. By saying that they will call the RSPA has been over the top and I know that you will feel awkward going through the schools gates. Don't let it spoil your dd's school beginnings! put it down to experience and move on.

Julia001 · 27/09/2016 17:52

Right

a) Some dogs are yappy, the RSPCA are well aware of it, as long as your dog is well cared for and is well feed, groomed etc, they will not do anything.

b) Parents should train their own children not to touch any strange dogs that they do not know, stop blaming everyone else, YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR OWN CHILDREN, IF YOU CANNOT CONTROL THEM THEN THEY NEED RETRAINING.

c) The school cannot tell you whether or not to tie your dog to a gate or lamp post or anything, but I would be wary of dog nappers.

d) stop stressing about what a load of pursed lipped owd biatches have to say, ignore them , there are types around that blame other people and they are so entitled that it makes me so mad.

e) I am not a dog owner, I do like dogs and both of my children were brought up not to touch dogs that they don't know, they wont bite you if you don't get into their faces and touch them, its easy really.

youredeadtomesteven · 27/09/2016 18:03

Let them call the RSPCA and get laughed at.
Many dogs are left at home and would be barking and would actually be distressed, possibly causing annoyance/concern to neighbours.

If you're only leaving your dog for 5 minutes to drop the kids off, and then coming back, there is absolutely no problem or reason to think you shouldn't have that pet.

Don't worry about them. Have they seriously got nothing better to get het up about?!

SapphireStrange · 27/09/2016 18:04

Threatening the RSPCA is ridiculous and talking over you is downright rude. I'd complain, personally but I'm a bolshy moo

gaylemcfedries · 27/09/2016 18:15

I know you thought it was a great idea but did you think off the stress your dog might csuse the children most kids dont expect to be barked at by a yappy wee thing when they go to clap it x

GDarling · 27/09/2016 18:20

Give the RSPCA a call, ask them if they think it's extraordinary to have a yapping dog?? Tell them what the school have said.
Mind you, maybe the school is just taking the word of the 'mad dog woman' and acting on that coz she always complains and they just placate her?? She sounds like a bully!
Take yr dog to school, do you need to leave it? Could u ask DC that if you take the dog, that he/she has to go in on their own?? what happens if you take the dog at home time, do you have to go into the school then?
Also stand next to MDW with yr head up high.
Can you take a confident person with you any time, leave the dog with them, I'm sure they will have something to say to the complainers!!