to wonder what am doing wrong

[worriedabouthimagain]

I am fucking up my kids i really am I can see it in there faces I can't handle them :(
Dd 4 in dec still wears nappys to bed she's very scared of going to the toilet on her own she screams over silly things like today her carrot fell of her plate as she was helping lay the table she screamed .
DS 7 month's has laryngomalacia and a laryngeal cleft so lots of trips to hospital and doctors he co sleeps and naps on me or dh. failed at bf him due to tongue tie crys alot. Weaning a big fucking mess he will only have water think puree or he will be sick. all we seem to do is nursery and asda at times subway.I wanted to take dd to at bus open day on Sat but couldn't
I truly feel like a shit mum I don't want to be told am a great mum as it's simply not true

Your DC are both at difficult ages (and thats without the little ones additional needs), it should get easier when DC1 starts school and you have some better advice about DC2 and eating - is there a specialist you can contact about this? You could ask your Health Visitor to refer you to Homestart, sometimes they have a waiting list but generally a volunteer spends 2 to 3 hours a week with you and DC, could mean you spend time with one DC while volunteer spends time with other, or an extra person to make getting out the house easier? Sometimes juggling two DC with very different needs can seem impossible for one person! You might be lucky and find someone who is first aid trained or willing to do the training too so that you can get a break, but if not make sure DH takes over at weekends so that you can have some time for you, even if its just a long bath.

My DC both prefer a night light and they are 6 and 8! My 6 year old wasn't dry at night until recently - I tried taking the pull ups away at age 4 and realised changing the bed when she wasn't ready was just making extra work and stress for me, and waited until the pull-ups were dry rather than forcing things along. I don't think theres any rush to wean now if it is upsetting DC2, if you can introduce tastes and DC seems to be enjoying it then thats good, but if its causing stress you might be better waiting. If you have a specialist you can discuss it with I would, but lots of the general weaning advice says "food is for fun, until they are one" and babies should be getting most of their nutrition from milk until around a year.

I guess what I'm saying is that DC are all different and you know your DC better than anyone else. They will get where they need to be, e.g dry at night or weaned when they are ready to be, no matter how much effort you put into these things sometimes it just depends on the child.

You sound exhausted.My dd was dry at night from18 months until she went to school and just slept so deeply that she was wet every night.We just made as little if it as possible and she grew out of it at about 6.If they're dry during the day then eventually they will be at night.And the screaming when little things go wrong,normal until they have the vocabulary.

Oh you poor thing, you do sound sad. Nappies pull_ups are very normal at this age. My youngest is 5 and is still in them at night. She staggers out her bedroom like John Wayne in the morning!
7 months is also still really young to be eating anything significant, neither of these things is a failure on anyone's part.
Be kinder to yourself, life will get easier, it really will. You have a lot to cope with right now but it won't always be like this.
4 year olds are also very high maintenance, dont take it personally!

We are waiting for speech therapy about feeding (at sick kids edinburgh of anyone knows about waiting times?)

I'm afraid not, but aren't there charities for children with a cleft palate? Would one fund some respite care with a SRN so you could have a couple of hours break?