AIBU to think that this mum WTU

[4foxsake]

So this story was in our local paper on the weekend.

m.southwalesargus.co.uk/news/14760523.Fury_after_schoolboy__7__leaves_school_and_walks_home_before_teachers_noticed_he_was_missing/

To cut a long story short, DC (7yo) got sent out of class for being disruptive. DC then thinks, sod this and does a bunk from school and walks home. On arriving home DM immediately phones the local press to express her outrage that her DC walked out of school without anyone noticing and then sits back and waits to see how long it takes the school to get in touch with her .

Meanwhile, at the school the boys absence was noticed, the school locked down and an extensive search of the grounds undertaken. When it became obvious the DC was not on the premises, the headmaster drove to the DCs house to inform the parents, only to find DC and his DM smugly sat there waiting for him. From the time the boy arrived home to the time the headmaster arrived an hour had past.

Now I agree I would be concerned about the security measures at the school that allows a child to just wander out and I would certainly be having some stem words with the headmaster about it. BUT my sternest words would most definitely be aimed at my DC for doing something so stupid, irresponsible and dangerous. I certainly wouldn't have phoned the local press or just let the school descend into panic, disrupting the days of, not only the several teachers who were involved in the search but also the children who should have been being taught by those teachers. And all because one little boy took umbrage at being disciplined.

So AIBU to think that what this mum did was totally irresponsible...?

Where I grew up, no-one walked to school on their own at age 7, 30 years ago. We were generally 9 or so - 2nd/3rd juniors (Y4/5).

Lol my brother did something similar 30 years ago. To make it worse he also took me home with him.
To be fair though it was a lot easier to escape though then.

Also I thought that a lot of the safety protocols were increased after Dunblane to stop intruders coming in.

Of course you do a thorough search before informing the parent.

I'm not sure about that. Is spending an hour searching the school the right course of action on its own, without sending someone out to follow the child's route home? In the time the school is busy searching its grounds the child could be getting into danger in the traffic or even being abducted.

My DS hid for over an hour at his school in yr7. He has ASD and had left class (with permission) as he was getting stressed.

The teacher informed the site team that he needed to be located and taken to the SEN department and went to her next lesson.

He phoned me over an hr later to say he'd missed lunch .

When I arrived at the school they were still not aware that he was missing. The original teacher came and spoke to me and was absolutely mortified by it all as she said it was a huge safe guarding failure.

I felt sorry for her as she had done nothing wrong and I was just more concerned that if there had been an emergency eg fire - then they wouldn't have known where he was.

I think in any school my kids have gone to a reasonably determined 7 year old could escape. And walk home pretty undetected. And depending on the time of day could take maybe half an hour to be missed.
And I'd rather that the school was sure that they were missing before contacting me. Unlike dd2 secondary school who sparked a whole search for her when she was actually in a lesson.

I think the problem lies with the 7 year old and his mother, not the school. They should obviously tighten up their security / supervision, but I really don't feel that's the main issue here.

The child sounds like a brat, the mother a twat and it was unfair to disrupt the school to search for him. He deserved a bloody good telling off rather than running to the papers. Says a lot of their type.

the picture of the boy is hilarious.

Dear God, I've just seen the photo. I can never unsee that. I think we need a warning.

Ds's mainstream school was very secure because they had children with sn who were at risk of doing a runner or just wandering off. For the average child, my concern would be that if a child can easily get out then someone else could easily get in.

I definitely would sit back and wait to see how long it took the school to realise they'd lost a child

Except you wouldn't know how long it took because, in this story, they locked the school down and searched the premises first. They could have noticed almost immediately and you woukd have no idea whilst you sat smugly at home with your child, waiting.

you would sit back?
surely your first call is the school, no wonder how angry you feel at the school. you should feel very angry with your son
why does a 7 year old think it is ok to walk out of school and go home?

his parents need to give him a bollocking so he doesnt think that it is ok to behave like this

He got away even with what I assume is a bright red school uniform jumper on? It might as well be prison orange. That is a talented boy.

My mum made me a post box red dress when I was about four so that she would be able to see me from the upstairs back window as I played in the field that was in the process of becoming the rest of the estate I grew up in. It was a jumble of nettle patches, piles of concrete blocks, I beams, abandoned bags of cement. The builders used to wave to me.

Even in the most secure schools, at some point during that day external gates need to be unlocked. (When nursery parents drop off/collect children for example).

If a child times it well, they could get out (fire doors cannot be permanently locked).

This is HOW LIFE IS and that child needs to know that this is absolutely not safe.

That said, we do have adults stationed on gates when our gates are open. We also have lots of parents who don't realise that adults primary purpose is to watch that children don't escape, and engage them in distracting discussions about little Johnny. Parents need to help out by letting staff supervise without distraction.

As a Year 2 teacher, home time is equally stressful for this reason. I am trying to make sure 30 little people get to the correct adult safely. Please don't engage me in conversation during that 5 minutes, wait patiently until afterwards.

'm shocked this was able to happen, both schools my children have attended have high security. All exits are locked and alarmed if fire exit during lesson time and the front entrances havedouble doors that are locked and only accessible if a member of staff let's you in. The only times the doors are unlocked are before school, break time and lunch time

Our local school is totally open - it even has a public footpath through the middle of it! The playground was only recently fenced off from the public. The kids are usually intelligent enough to realise that they are being trusted to stay in school and not wander off. (Years 3 -6) . I believe there was one boy with SEN who would do a runner if he didn't like the lesson - he was monitored and followed and the mum informed. He always came back when calmer.

I definitely would sit back and wait to see how long it took the school to lose a child. Regardless of if the kid is naughty/does wrong, it doesn't change the fact that they shouldn't be able to get out at all.

But how does sitting back achieve any of that? The school were searching for him so it gives you no idea when they realised he was missing. Absolutely it shouldn't have happened, but again waiting doesn't help you solve any of that. Calling up the school to tell them, kicking up the biggest fuss imaginable, reporting the incident etc yes (and even going to the press for a sad face article if that's what floats your boat). Sitting back waiting turns it into some weirdly smug power game. It does drag out the 'drama' though, which may be the motivation for some.

One look at the picture and I'd made up my mind.

Why are people making fun of where they live, what they look like, that they might be on benefits? Disgusting comments. Does it make you feel better about yourselves that you may live in a more affluent neighbourhood, may be better looking? Grow up.

I can't believe the mum allowed the school to waste resources searching for her child when she knew he was safe. And contacting the newspaper just seems attention seeking.

I think it's naive to assume that if you informed the school immediately that they would take much of an effort to look at their security/safeguarding procedures.
Most institutions need to be inconvenienced and panicked before they will reassess how they do things. Sad, but true.

Not sure I'd have done a DM over my dead body but I agree that the school needed a shock to put a rocket up their arses.
We've just recently had the anniversary for dunblane. Does that not terrify anyone?!

I did the same thing at 7. Thought I would be in trouble (another child said they'd tell on me because I forgot to help the young ones at the end of break time) and walked out the school.

Back then the school gates were left open so I could just walk out.

The school phoned my mum as soon as they realised I was missing. I couldn't cross the main road or phone my mum from the phone box so wandered back near the school where the deputy head found me.

The staff were lovely to me, my mum bollocked me when we got home and told me never to scare her like that again.

No press were involved and my mum didn't blame the school for my escape - I was expected to be old enough to know better than to walk out of school.

I would punish my son and I wouldn't go to the press. But I would have waited to see how long it would take. I don't think the search was a waste of time as they could obviously do with both a practice and a review of how their procedures work.

I think the school fucked up in a number of ways here. Firstly sending a child outside unsupervised in an insecure school and not keeping them in sight is an inappropriate punishment when it means they're not being appropriately monitored and supervised. Secondly, when a child goes missing a parent should be the first point of call, not left for an hour. If a child has left school they'll probably head home and home should be checked as soon as possible and the parent would be able to get someone there quickly, like a neighbour. If uncontactable a teacher should be sent straight to check. If his mother hadn't been in he would have been sat outside the house for an hour. The delay in contacting the mother makes me think the school were more interested in arse covering - hoping they'd find him in school and could hush it up - than they were with the safety of the child. This school really does need to look at their procedures because something obviously went very wrong here and anything could have happened.

It's possible to accept your child has misbehaved whilst also being angry with the way the school dealt with it.

I think it's pretty disgusting that people are judging these events based on their class and appearance. I'm sure if little Jago or Harriet went missing because they weren't properly supervised the responses would be very different.

Many years ago my eldest was a 'runner'. I had to choose a school miles away as it was the only one at the time to have push button security and locked perimeter gates. It was so effective that even patents couldn't get out after the bell had sounded.
Most schools security is terribly lax, especially older primary schools. Children do run for a variety of reasons.
She should have called the school immediately and taken him back in.

The mother was just looking for fame and drama by calling the paper. But never mind, if the boy is behaving like that at 7, she's going to have plenty of drama to deal within the next 10 years. Good luck to them. I hope they enjoyed their little bit of fame. 🙄