AIBU?
to expect my pals to pay for themselves at a meal for MY birthday?
jeangenie · 05/02/2007 15:20
have invited 5 couples out next w/e to celebrate my bday. Know them all fairly well, 3 of them VERY well and two quite well. I never even thought anyone would expect me to pay until I read a thread on here today.
Bloody hell, is this going to be awkward? I can't afford to pay for them all...
(nobody has ever paid my bill when I've been out to celebrate a bday, but then I haven't done that many)
Psychobabble · 05/02/2007 15:29
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dassie · 05/02/2007 15:31
Are you referring to the party thread? I think that is different as you are being invited as a guest.
If you are going out to a restaurant I think it is the norm for the bill to be split and the birthday girl to be exempt! But then it depends on how you phrased the invite I suppose!
MoreSpamThanGlam · 05/02/2007 19:48
I think it would be a nice gesture to pay for a bottle of champagne or something like that.
A friend invite a few couples out to the races for the day for her birthday. We had to buy a new outfit, babysitters, taxi there and back, food, drink and the bets. Plus a gift of course.
Her husband is loaded and the rest of us are not. They won a fortune on the races and didnt even buy a round extra out of the winnings.
still....takes all sorts.
jeangenie · 05/02/2007 22:11
was planning to buy some cocktails or a bottle of champagne to kick things off
no-one should need to buy a new outfit, it's upstairs at a pub (nice though) and in central london so easy public transport to and fro
people will need babysitters, that's true, but then I like to think they are getting an excuse for a night out that they might not otherwise have had (my friends and me can need excuses for things like this!)
they seem quite excited...I am
Ladymuck · 05/02/2007 22:33
I think that it does depend on your existing relationship with the people, the wording of the invite and what has been typical practice with these friends in the past.
It might be worth doublechecking with the woman that your closest with in order to see what assumption they have made?
cat64 · 05/02/2007 22:45
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twelveyeargap · 05/02/2007 22:53
I think people would expect to pay at a birthday meal unless you said "I'll take you out for dinner."
If you're referring to the thread about being asked to contribute to a party - it's a bit different. Being asked for cash to pay for a party you didn't plan, or get any choice in, is different to choosing from a menu and paying for said choice.
Debsbear · 21/02/2012 14:57
I wouldn't expect to pay for everyone else at my birthday celebration, in the past the most common arrangement would be for others (not the birthday girl)to suggest going out to celebrate and then they would split the bill between them. If I suggested going out for MY birthday, I would expect to pay for my own but no-one else's.
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