misphonia

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I have been educated about this through MN and realise it's a real thing and causes much distressment.

However, I believe my neighbour may be being an utter cunt.

I have lived here for 24 years and am pretty quiet. I live in a terrace with two neighbours at the front but because of the layout I have five neighbours at the back. He is one of them.

He yells at us for making noise. It is like the grave round here mostly, interspersed by noise of aircraft stacking to Gatwick and Heathrow about every 30 seconds. Sometimes people make dinner party noise - tinkly plates, laughter, MOR music - but that mostly in the summer. I like those sounds btw.

He's yelled at me a few times, mostly because I had the back door open and he could hear music. Once because my cat was in my garden and was yowling. 'If you don't shut that cat up, I'll fucking kill him' was what he said.

I apologised but the big mistake was saying: 'Do you think you have misphonia?'

He said no but had since come back and says he has. I think he's googled it.

Threatening to kill your cat- any sympathy I might have had for him would fly out of the window with that.

You really don't need music while gardening. Or if you do, that's why headphones exist. Music in gardens is like loud music in cars at traffic lights with the windows wound down - unnecessary and annoying. Actual parties excepted.

NavyAndWhite I called the thread Misphonia because I asked my neighbour if that's what he had after a previous incident. He said no but subsequently said he has it. I suspect he's not telling the truth but I believe it truly exists for some people.

Hassled it's true, I don't need music on while gardening. Usually I like to listen to talk shows such as The Daily Poiitics. I wouldn't imagine that Andrew Neil's voice at a low level at midday is too jarring seeing as it is often drowned out by the sound of aircraft landing at Heathrow and Gatwick, police helicopters hovering overhead and emergency vehicle sirens.

I do not wear headphones

Op

Our DD has severe Misophonia and what you describe is not that

Our specialist audiologist says that from recent research approx 2/3rds of misophonia sufferers are on the autistic spectrum the final 1/3 have suffered trauma from repeat infections at a young age

Your neighbour could be on the spectrum and or suffering from hyperaccusis which are also linked

It is difficult with noisy neighbours, mine often plays music loud with her doors open without a thought about its effect, she leaves them open while the 7 year old practices trumpet too!

Instead of labelling his behaviour try to look at both sides, it's a truly horrible illness to live with and as it is a disability just like any other try having a bit of compassion

We wear blue tooth headphones rather than overwhelm DD's senses as she just can't process all the noise even small sounds like swallowing literally drive her bonkers

I'm not sure I'd be bothered having too much compassion for someone who threatened to kill my cat. He just sounds like an intolerant tosser to me.

I think I have an understanding. My brother emailed me a link to an article about misophonia and said 'this sounds like you'.

usertoomanynumbers compassion? Get real. He made a little girl cry and worse,threatened to kill her pet. He's very lucky he doesn't live next door to someone who would act on that threat. He's a nasty bully and needs dealing with.

Clearly some of you are bullies too!

If you're constantly making noise that provokes someone they are likely to make stupid threats especially if on the spectrum

And the op is a middle aged woman not a child, we are only hearing one side and yes I choose compassion not rabble bullying and diagnosis by someone without any qualification to do so ( which I have)

The op asked as she has little understanding of this condition, which all you delightful folk are reinforcing

Heaven forbid we might try and understand a situation, nah just get the rocks and lunch mob

Oh how convenient you're qualified usergetyourselfapropername

What has the OP not being a child got to do wit anything? Of course we only get one side. What a ridiculous statement.

'If you're constantly making noise that provokes someone they are likely to make stupid threats especially if on the spectrum'

What, like a child playing in the garden and a cat mewling? So you're saying the OP was asking for this abuse. Nice.

And what 'rabble bullying' are you referring to? Are we in the OP's garden yelling at her delightful neighbour?

I choose compassion not rabble bullying and diagnosis by someone without any qualification to do so ( which I have)

A qualification that allows you to diagnose a man by a description given by his neighbour. Wow, that's impressive.

I have it, and as I type, I am wearing ear plugs.

You know in hospitals and airports they have those little trucks that beep all the time that they're moving? There isn't enough money in the world to pay me to do that job because the beeping would have me self destructing within minutes.

And nom nom chompy eaters! They're risking their lives pulling that shit near me!

I have it too, it's mostly noisy eaters, pen clickers and sodding whistlers that set me off.

I'd never shout at people though, I find ways to manage it so it affects me less. I always wear earphones on the bus as I find it quite stressful otherwise.

Your neighbor just sounds like a dick.

I don't think your neighbour has misophonia. He just sounds like an intolerant twat. If he has misophonia that's just a coincidence. I have it and have managed to never to threaten someone elses cat or child.

Itsmine I'm not sure I'd call it a disability either. But misphonia is certainly life altering in a very unpleasant and unavoidable way. I usually can't eat with my children or dh, for example. It also caused endless angst and family arguments when I was a teen and utterly ruined my relationship with my dad for many years.

And we're not talking about irritation, rather an uncontrollable and frightening anger response to unavoidable noises that are part of everyday life. The only way to deal with it is to remove oneself from the situation, whatever that might be.

Having said that, your neighbour sounds like a nasty bully OP.

I guess as with every condition it affects people in varying degrees.

Mine is mild and manageable, Navy yours sounds more severe, and perhaps not solely misophonia.