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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think she could have taken the parcel in?

40 replies

froubylou · 24/09/2016 14:10

Had a card for attempted delivery yesterday. delivery driver been back today and told me my ndn refused to take it in. It was boots so not a huge box or heavy.

I work from home so am usually around to take my own parcels in. And everyone else's including hers. I think I have taken in as many for her as she has for me. Including a massive park hamper last Christmas early on a Sunday morning. Which I had balanced on the stairs to stop ds opening it for about 6 hours when they came home 4 hours later. When I finally went round and asked if they could come and take it as it was in the way and I wanted to vacuum the stairs they told me they were just sorting out space for it and could it wait for a couple of hours.

Anyway. She refused to sign for my parcel yesterday. I was at my other ndn house earlier on in the week at an Anne summers party and actually stuck up for her over something silly (party game she clearly didn't want to do and I said she shouldn't have to if she didn't feel comfortable).

Am aibu to be a bit pissed off with her? She is a funny onion sometimes and will either blank me on the street or say a very forced hello. I get the distinct feeling she doesn't like me though I have no idea why. Am not going to lose sleep over it or anything but am a bit pissed off.

I wouldn't be as petty as to refuse deliveries for her in the future but might be overly nice when handing them over and say I took it in because I know how annoying it is to miss one.

And obviously if it's a problem for her I will make a note on future deliveries to say not to take them to her if I am not home.

OP posts:
SeaCabbage · 24/09/2016 15:20

I'd do as the PP said and ask her outright if she would prefer it if you no longer took in parcels for each other. Then you will know.

If she doesn't want to take your parcels any more , you could a note on your door stating which neighbours will do it for you.

lalalalyra · 24/09/2016 15:26

Does she take in parcels for other neighbours? I've stopped taking in parcels for any of my neighbours because I was having my door thumped by couriers 3/4 times a day. It seems as the sahm with new baby in the street I became the default parcel person. One day in July I took in 8 parcels. I got fed up of parcels cluttering my hall and people expecting me to take parcels to them so now I don't take in any.

Mozfan1 · 24/09/2016 15:29

Delivery driver (who was more annoyed than me!) said ndn dp asked why she wouldn't take it and she just said she was 'sick of it'.

Be petty. Why is she allowed to be 'sick of it' yet expect you to keep her stuff when she's home?! Piss taker.

grandmainmypocket · 24/09/2016 15:29

Yanbu

She probably doesn't dislike you. Maybe just a bit moody at times.

I would mention it so you know for future reference. If she couldn't take it on this occasion for a justifiable reason she should have mentioned it.

sykadelic · 24/09/2016 15:30

She said she's "sick of it" so it might not just be about you. It could also be other people who have been having things delivered to her.

I wouldn't take in any for her, she obviously don't want you to or she'd have taken your parcel in.

I wouldn't be passive aggressive about it, instead I'd go see her and tell her you understand how annoying getting other people's parcels are, you wanted to apologize that she was bothered and you'll make note to send the courier away next time they come to you with a parcel for her because you understand she doesn't want that presumed obligation of reciprocal parcel acceptance. Sorry again. Have a lovely day etc etc

Mycraneisfixed · 24/09/2016 15:35

YANBU. Nor oversensitive. Your ndn is the one with a problem. She may not want to mix with her neighbours but she'll learn in time that being neighbourly makes her world a bit easier. I'm so glad I have neighbours who take anything in for me and vice versa.

Lweji · 24/09/2016 15:40

Am sure she will get the message when couriers don't try her and walk past to go to ndn but 1 if I am ever not home again.
And being extra nice if you accept a parcel for her.

It's SO British! Grin

Just don't accept anything for her or ask her what her problem was.

Personally, I'm not much in favour of giving parcels to neighbours, ubless specities, and in which case I'd ask for the favour. Delivery people don't know who they are or if there are good relationships.

george1020 · 24/09/2016 15:46

Why don't you say something?

or just not take in a parcel for her.

I really don't understand why you would be upset about it and not do anything?
Why would you want her to think it's ok to selfish of others? If you let it continue (you taking in parcels for her/not saying anything about what driver told you) then she thinks it's ok to treat you, and probably others, like that.

I don't get it Confused

SooBee61 · 24/09/2016 15:51

I'd carry on taking in parcels. It seems more charitable. You don't know what she might have going on in her life that causes the odd behaviour. And Anne Summers parties are not my scene man, I only went to one and never again.

Jaxhog · 24/09/2016 16:01

I work from home and always take NBs parcels in. How else would I know about the Sodastream junkie or the wide range of obscure bicycle parts?

Seriously though, I'd have a chat with her and suggest you don't take in each others parcels from now on if it annoys her.

acasualobserver · 24/09/2016 17:29

I really want to take a parcel in for her. Just so she has to come and ask for it and I can smile sweetly and say how neighbourly it is to take them in and how annoying it is to miss them.

This is the British solution and the one you should opt for. Patriots up and down our land will applaud you.

Giratina · 24/09/2016 17:37

I really want to take a parcel in for her. Just so she has to come and ask for it and I can smile sweetly and say how neighbourly it is to take them in and how annoying it is to miss them

I take in parcels for my neighbour who doesn't like me just because I know if really annoys her to have to come to me and ask nicely for them Grin.

WeAllHaveWings · 24/09/2016 17:56

If you are on good terms with your ndn and it she doesnt take in parcels often her alleged reaction doesn't seem right. I'd go and speak to her and tell her you are confused/don't want to upset her, rather than take the word of a pissed off delivery man.

If she then says she doesn't like taking in parcels then tell her that's absolutely fine and you won't take theirs either.

froubylou · 24/09/2016 18:05

weallhavewings I do believe the delivery driver. It absolutely sounds like the reaction I would expect. Her dp is a quiet bloke, says hello and chats to my dp sometimes. She is a bit of a moody Mary and I can well imagine it's the sort of over reaction she would have.

Am not going to say or do anything (except maybe bitch to my other lovely ndn). I haven't the energy for more drama at the moment. I normally would as I am definitely not a pushover but my sister is pretty poorly atm and I just want a quiet life at home, not having a row with some silly young lass with a grudge over something stupid if that's what she has.

But I might actually look forward to taking in a parcel for her, or doing something equally neighbourly so she has to be grateful she has such a nice reasonable ndn.

OP posts:
AnArrowToTheKnee · 24/09/2016 22:08

It can get pretty annoying taking in parcels - I've been known to get huffy with the sixth or seventh delivery driver of the day, apparently being a SAHM also makes me the streets local sorting office. So it might not actually be you she's mad at. God knows the neighbours would hate us for it if I wasn't a SAHM (DH is always ordering stuff online).

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