DD12 is very rude. What can I do?

[user1473872482]

My DD12 shouts and screams over the slightest thing. Like tonight she said she wanted a snack so I said to her would you like some pasta and she said do it now with a attitude. My husband told her off and she started crying and saying we are bad parents, she hates us and she hopes we die! Sent to her room but has been there since 2 hours ago. Went to ask her what is wrong and if everything is ok and she just said go away. Feel sorry for her in a way but I don't know why.

"Hopefully tomorrow she will be better behaved"

Yeah, I too hope for world peace and an end to all war.

Hopefully tomorrow she will be better behaved.
Why would she when being a jerk is working for her?

I wouldn't talk to her about it this morning tbh. I would ignore her beyond the normal pleasantries that you would offer to anyone ('good morning', 'hello', etc).

You have a very small window here OP in which you can reform this behaviour. Hormones may well come into this but they are no excuse for this level of rudeness.

Your DH is right but I would be wary of allowing him to take over discipline. You need your DD to respect you. Right now she doesn't and she will only do so if she realises you are serious.