AIBU to feel that the cat is playing silly buggers, and I should not pander to him.

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

At least - no more than I have already.

CatBastard (so called because he bites you if you stroke him too much/not enough/or even consider stopping stroking him) eats tuna - because if we give him ordinary cat food, he leaves home.

We buy him nice tuna, in spring water, because I worried about the salt in ordinary tuna damaging his kidneys. This far I am prepared to pander.

He insists on having his tuna outside, on the garden table. I don't have a major problem with this, but it means that anyone else who can get to it, eats it - the dogs, if they are out in the garden unsupervised, or the local seagulls - so I prefer to feed him on the utility room draining board.

This is not good enough for CatBastard - ohhhh no. He can jump up to the draining board (I've found him on the work top before now), and is cool with the idea of food in the utility room (we used to keep the dogs' food in an open box, high up on the microwave in the utility room, where they can't get to it, and we found him knee deep in it, eating it, one day - the dogs were appalled) - but he is currently shouting at me because I have put his bowl of tuna on the utility draining board, not the garden table.

It is the last can of tuna - I need to go shopping tomorrow - so I think it is perfectly reasonable to want him to eat it all - not the birds or the dogs - but he disagrees.

AIBU not to pander to him?

UptownFlunk

Maybe we like the misery?

An awful state of affairs OP.
however, we are going to need some photographic material of BastardCat.

😂😂😂😂 at ducknuggets

and yes we need pics of the cat to squee over enable us to judge your specific situation and the reasonableness thereof

I'm still recovering from trauma of last night's hairpoo. Actually, I may never recover.

I came into my

Ha! Blond!cat doesn't want me to tell the story so he batted away my phone! Mais non, my little cloud in furry trousers, I SHALL BE HEARD!

Anyway, yes.

Came into my room last night to discover a small hairball on my quilt. Thought that was weird as I hadn't heard either cat coughing it up. Reasoned they had presumably just figured out how to silently produce their hairballs in order to make them more effective/stealth weapons. Picked it up with some tissue, no mess left on my bed or anything, put it in the bathroom bin.

Bit later on the cats come tearing into my room. And there is a lump of poo flying along behind blond!cat, seemingly independently. Until he screeched to a halt & it whipped round. Not poo, but another hairball. Just... being pooed out not coughed up. And the daft sod has seemingly eaten some of my hair as well, which is what's keeping the thing attached to him.

My cats never EVER poo outside their box (blond cat v occasionally poos right next to it when stressed, for his first 8 weeks of life he used to toilet in an area not in a tray as too many felines for the one tray...) so I think the hairpoo I found must've broken off the one attached while he was zooming round trying to get rid of it... The tray area was a bit of a sight to behold when I got down there after de-hair!pooing blond!cat - there was actual!poo on the floor & bits of litter all over...

I mean, well done the ZebraCats' maltpaste for making catfur so easy to pass (etc) as promised. But. Hairpoo. Hairpoo. Hairpoo on my bed. That could have been hairpoo IN my bed if I'd not been paying attention.

(Hairpoo does not, as I'm sure enquiring minds are going to want to know, smell like poo. I mean, I didn't have a good sniff at it or anything, but I have a really - frequently unfortunately - good sense of smell & thus would expect to be able to tell which end of my cats something has come out of thu. But apparently hairpoo is not stinky. Which makes sense in that it is not actually faecal matter, I know, but at the same time, it's been knocking about with the stuff in there...

Hairpoo. There was hairpoo on my quilt. AND the furry little reprobate has taken advantage of fact I've slept through most of this week (am a bit more brokened than usual, grump) to give my hair a wash. Which the ZebraCats know is Strictly Forbidden. Euwurgh. Bet he's been washing my face as well once he realised that I somehow wasn't waking up at the lightest touch as I usually do. Waaaaaaah!

My people! My three sit and wail by the cat flap until some passing humanoid holds it open for them as they don't like it shutting on their tails ... The entire family has Stockhome Syndrome

Ohhhhh no @ flying hairpoos and hairpoos in bed!

And for those who have asked, here is a photo of the Feline Overlord.

I think you're extremely cruel. Or dumb. That's what my cats tell me when I refuse to get up at 3AM to fill their half-empty food dishes. They're starving, so they say.

I used to have a cat that liked to drink out of the bog. But not any old bog - only the one in my bathroom. Would come in and walk straight past downstairs bog to mine. And if he found me on said bog, would shout loudly at me til I got off and he could have a nice drink (I did flush first).
That cat is now dead, sadly. Not by my hand I should say.

OP that cat looks 100% boss.

I think this is your PFB cat, you need to get a grip and accept the cat is king, you are merely a servant there to provide for him. His very wish is your command. YABU by not understanding this.

Love the question mark tail!

Oh dear, I think you have angered him further by daring to take his photograph!!

Please, if you can, let us know that you are OK, say something MNetty so we know it's really you

Love the picture, he has perfectly mastered his look of utter contempt.

Since the lodger moved in, my little queen wakes me up every morning at 5am. Doesn't want anything, just bored. Every day unless the lodger is away and then she's silent until gone 8am.

There is a look of

human, I know you are talking about me on mumsnet, when you are asleep I'm going to scratch your much loved curtains

I bet he is doing it right now

Blond!cat has just been ricocheting round the house like a hirsute pinball that is defying several laws of physics. Including wild leaps into my bed, frenzied flails & scrabbles about atop the duvet cover & a sort of stiff-legged sideways hop.

Black!cat for once declined to join in the antisocial o'clock indoor parkour session (we live in a terraced house) & watched from his bed, with a look that suggested he very absolutely NEVER behaved like that & certainly not just a matter of hours ago.

Of course now, having woken me up (I didn't mean to fall asleep on top of my covers, but points to me for making it into my pyjamas, right?) with his antics blond!cat now wishes to snuggle. When really I should be going to bed properly. Which means shutting the ZebraCats out, though they've managed to stay in my room since Sunday - first I was feeling bad for having been away all weekend, then just exhausted, then blond!cat had been Brave At The Vet, then it's just Sheer Exhaustion that's worked in their favour. I swear I woke up one night & black!cat started up a little lullaby...

Blond!cat would totally deny his insane leapy antics & claim we've been snuggled up for ages & thus he has squatters rights. And he looks so convincing too...

Suppose I should count myself lucky there weren't any hairpoos involved. High-velocity hairpoo is deeply distressing thought...

I really ought to move him & go to bed properly. But he's so happy. And squooshy. And purrysnurry. I could pull my quilt over us & just sleep with the lights on (since taking pic he's shifted so his back paws are wedged into me) right? His tummyfur is just so soft (he actively likes tummyrubs, he is a rebel) how can I move someone so floofy?

...put it in the car and drive 15 miles from home and throw it out in the middle of nowhere. That'll teach it some respect.

thats a good one,

Think demanding tuna is bad? My parents once had a cat that would only eat fish fingers.

There was a strict no treat policy for all future cats just in case they realised there were tastier things than felix available!

FeelingSmurfy - you are right - he was definitely thinking 'bloody papparazzi, in my Own Home!!"

He has decided to let me live - for now.

And in an interesting twist, he has turned his nose up at a bowlful of mixed tuna, wet cat food and science diet biscuits on the utility worktop, but has wolfed down a portion of science diet biscuits on their own, served on the garden table.

He is a contrary little bastard.

Now you will be expected to puzzle for hours about what he wants for future food

Yanbu.
I have a resident catbastard too.
We win eventually!
Good luck!

That's one fucked off looking feline.

You do know he's just going to up the ante now, right?

Funnily enough, I saw some tins of tuna for cats in Home Bargains earlier today and I didn't know about it until then. Might be worth looking into if you have one near.