.....to think that this is not an unreasonable house rule?

[LaContessaDiPlump]

DS1 (5 yo) has a tendency to throw things as part of general playtime. I will be sitting on the sofa and all of a sudden something will go flying past my line of sight. I do not like this. I do not consider it to be acceptable behavior from anyone who's older than 3 yo and capable of following rules generally (he is fine at school). I have told him I do not like this and that if he absolutely must throw, he can do it in the hallway (nothing breakable there), in his room (break your own shit, I don't care) or outside in the garden, but not in the communal areas like living room, kitchen and bathroom. He doesn't listen.

DH claims that I am being completely unreasonable and has mitigated the rule to 'No throwing HARD things' i.e. soft items can be thrown with impunity. I have said I don't like this and have requested that it stop; I have basically been told to suck it up.

I'm really unhappy at having what I think is a perfectly reasonable request be basically just fucking ignored by the other people in my house, particularly by my husband who is old enough to understand the request and comply with it.

I have started to wonder if I'm being unreasonably sensitive in not wanting items flying around the room unpredictably.

AIBU?

[CruCru]

Yep, no throwing things in the house seems a reasonable rule.

[SEsofty]

Only balls are thrown, and only outside

[ginghamstarfish]

Your husband's an idiot for undermining you. A small child cannot decide which things are ok to throw and which are not. Agree with saying the child can throw his own stuff in his own room, but not anywhere else, or DH can take him in the garden for throwing games. You need to get this sorted out with your DH or you'll have years of trouble ahead!

[littlemissneela]

YANBU You and your dh need to have a united front when dealing with things like this. I would sit down with him and explain why you dont like the throwing and see why he thinks its ok. He might not have even thought of the consequences. We also have a no throwing rule on our home, apart from balloons.

[nick247]

In the nursery where I used to work we were forever repeating ' If you want to throw something, find a ball and go and play outside' . I believe this is
reasonable.

[dowhatnow]

Nothing teaches like pain. Engineer it so something precious of dh's gets broken.

[dowhatnow]

A balloon knocked somethings precious off my mantelpiece so even they are now banned.

[NoCapes]

No throwing in the house is a pretty standard rule IMO
It's just obvious

When DD was 13 months old someone threw someone else an apple, they didn't catch it and in the process dropped a cup of tea all over DD
A layer of skin came off her chest, shoulder and parts of her stomach almost immediately
She's 5 now and still has the scars

Absolutely no throwing in my house allowed
(And hot drinks out of reach/only in the kitchen, but that's not relevant here)

[SantanaBinLorry]

YY To the throwing of husband stuff, phone on a hard floor, keys launched behind the book case, plate of food all over his lap. See how much joy and fun there is then ;)

[KatharinaRosalie]

Wait until DH is having a drink. Throw a pillow at his head. See how he likes that.

It is perfectly possible to have a happy and fun filled childhood without throwing things around indoors.

[Laiste]

Oh god OP i'd hate this. I feel for you. Thankfully DH and i have never come to an emotional impasse over parenting styles. I'm not sure what would happen if we did!

If he feels more strongly about something than i, then i give way and vice-versa.

Surely the only option is compromise here. Wait for a good calm time to talk again. Tell him you don't want things whizzing past your head when you're sitting down. You'll allow throwing in other parts of the house. He must know you're not a joy sucking misery guts. He loves you doesn't he?

[Wrinklytights]

Yanbu. Since when was throwing stuff soooo much fun anyway! I have a no throwing stuff in the house rule anyway as find simple is usually better when it comes to DC remembering rules.

[Laiste]

nocapes - When DD was 13 months old someone threw someone else an apple, they didn't catch it and in the process dropped a cup of tea all over DD. A layer of skin came off her chest, shoulder and parts of her stomach almost immediately. She's 5 now and still has the scars



So sorry to hear about this :( Poor DD.

Show this to DH OP?

[LaContessaDiPlump]

Wait until DH is having a drink. Throw a pillow at his head. See how he likes that

I was sitting on the sofa and he was about to go up to bed (with his glass of water) when we were discussing this. He threw said glass of water over me during the conversation, apparently in an attempt to show me how funny throwing stuff is.

It wasn't.

[TathitiPete]

Err. Why is your opinion more valid than your husband's?

Umm, because one person's opinion is 'There are some things you shouldn't throw in certain areas of the house please' and the other person's opinion is 'Fuck that, don't listen to Mum - she's a killjoy. Throw whatever you want, wherever you want. Rock on!'

[milkyface]

He sounds like a tosser op.

You're right. Throwing is not and never will be allowed in our house.

Why the fuck did he throw water over you? I would have kicked his arse out the door at that very minute seriously. Not funny.

[NoCapes]

He threw a glass of water over you?!

Thanks Laiste luckily she was young enough to not remember, it also means her scars are getting smaller as she grows, I'm hoping they'll be virtually invisible before she gets to an age where they bother her

[tibbawyrots]

Just seen your update!

I hope he has got a lot of redeeming qualities and this is an out of character blip!

[ChazsBrilliantAttitude]

That last incident makes him sound like a twat. He isn't one of these people who thinks its great to be as much of a kid and as the kids is he.

I have a rule about throwing and firing objects around me (sucker arrows, nerf gun bullets). I don't like it and it makes me on edge waiting for the next thing to go whizzing by. The DC know better than to do that. Throwing is reserved for places that don't have breakables (or me) in them.

[Banderwassnatched]

We allow throwing- my 7 year old used to be endlessly throwing until quite recently. His gross and fine motor skills are poor and throwing helps develop them.

[LaContessaDiPlump]

He had had a few beers and apparently just got pissed off/thought it would be hilarious (explanations vary). I'll admit that I have been hard to live with recently (shouty, picking fights etc) but I wasn't impressed by this.

He generally doesn't do such things when sober. This was a rare occurence overall, tbf. I mentioned it because it seemed relevant to the 'look how fun throwing is' discussion.

[Workinzzz]

I would embrace the rule until he saw how "unfunny" it is.

When he's talking to someone on the phone - throw a glass of water at him - how hilarious you are!

When he's stood over the hob cooking dinner - throw his bedroom pillow at him - you are a card!

When he is asleep - throw some cereal at him - you are the funniest person to live with EVER

Then ask him who the killjoy is

[LaContessaDiPlump]

I don't like it and it makes me on edge waiting for the next thing to go whizzing by.

^THIS, absolutely this. Thank you!

Bander, he has a medical need for throwing - that is different. I assume that it's also an acknowledged risk in your house that you might get accidentally clonked. DS1 thankfully has no medical need to practice throwing and alternately does it idly out of habit/intentionally, to upset me. It's the second category that's the issue.

[Beebeeeight]

^the point where the thread takes sharp turn and we realise this isn't about the child^

He threw said glass of water over me during the conversation, apparently in an attempt to show me how funny throwing

This is domestic violence.

Fuck that.

If my dp did that his clothes would be getting thrown out the window.
Ltb
Ltb
Ltb

[NataliaOsipova]

YANBU. And your DH sounds like a knob for throwing water over you. I'd be tempted to do the same with my coffee one time....

The problem with "only soft" things is that it puts too much responsibility on a 5 year old to know the difference and to know what is safe or not. As a PP said, throwing a pair of rolled up socks at someone holding a hot drink near a baby could have horrendous repercussions. What if he throws something which in his definition is "soft" (one of those bath toys, for example) but he throws it hard enough to hurt someone? Whose fault is that then? I think you're quite right with the rule. It's not about being joyless, it's just common sense.