to think this isn't bad hosting?

[lalalalyra]

We had a relative of DH's staying. Well, I say we, but really it's me as DH is working away for 12 weeks. It was a last minute thing, they were at a conference for 4 days and were meant to be staying with PIL, but FIL's health has left him not really up to guests at the moment.

We've juggled round rooms so he had a comfortable room with a desk, tv etc and an en suite (my two 13yos left their room for 4 days to facilitate this). I made a dinner for him each night and left it in the oven. When he arrived I showed him where everything was and said to help himself at any time.

I don't drink tea or coffee so I'm shit at remembering to offer after the first cup when people arrive. Everyone knows to just help themselves though.

I've picked him up twice when there were train issues and I made sure the kids didn't annoy him in the mornings at breakfast.

He left this morning and drove home after his conference and I'm bloody fuming at a "jokey" (but obviously barbed) comment about staying in a hotel the next time as he'd actually get a cup of tea occasionally and his ironing done! Ungrateful shit!

However, in my moan to my friend she let slip that actually she thinks not offering cups of tea and coffee to guests isn't good. I always do when people first arrive, but tbh I just think 'make it your home' and happily let guests get on with it. No one has ever commented negatively before but I'm wondering if they are all secretly thinking I'm a shit host.

In my defence I'm juggling 6 kids and a new au pair (first ever au pair as have baby that needs lots of medical appointments) at the moment so making tea and coffee isn't high on the agenda

[ollieplimsoles]

My comment wasn't intended to sound like I was having a go at you op I hope you didn't take it that way.

Its just awful that everyone has accommodated him and made sacrifices and he's made a comment like that.

Your friend is a moron as well

[MrsMook]

What an ungrateful dick!

Our guests are encouraged to sort themselves for tea and coffee. We don't drink the stuff either, so only buy it in once a year when we dump the old lot so it doesn't go too stale. I drink when I'm thirsty and with meals. I've got no idea when other people need to top up their caffeine levels.

[SpeakNoWords]

You're an amazingly kind host, not a bad one at all. There's no way anyone reasonable would expect you to be constantly offering tea or coffee. Your friend was being a bit mean or thoughtless tbh mentioning anything about it.

[Lalunya85]

Can I come and stay at your house please? You sound like a wonderful host!

I'd much rather boil the kettle and make my own drinks than be waited on. That would just make me feel really uncomfortable. Not that that even matters though, as it really isn't your duty to be a concierge/driver/cook/waitress... You did him a massive favor and if I were you I would have made it clear to him that his comment was friggin rude.

Unbelievable.

[LineyReborn]

Your friend is quite the shit, really.

[228agreenend]

You sound like a fab host.

I don't drink tea and coffee and actually don't drink a lot. My mum and sister are the opposites, and if they have been out, the first thing they do on gettin g in is put the kettle on.

Ironing !!!

He's a bad guest.

[TinklyLittleLaugh]

I'm not a big tea drinker; one cup after breakfast is quite sufficient. Tea addict guests tend to say things like, "Shall I put the kettle on then? Shall I make us a brew?"

Not beyond the wit of an average person with a tongue in their head I wouldn't have thought.

[MrsTerryPratchett]

He's a misogynist and your friend is too.

[Ditsy4]

I thought at first that you could try a bit harder then I read the bit about the 6 kids including a baby who isn't so well and a new au pair,no,I think you were fabulous at hosting him.
I would give his email address to all the hotel chains and b&b bs so he is bombarded with offers.

[LizzieMacQueen]

Did he pay you or did he pocket the expenses his employer will have paid him to cover his overnight costs?

[Liiinoo]

I had an old school friend stay recently with her young son who has special medical needs. She was one of my best ever guests because she took my 'make yourself at home' literally. After the initial cup of tea/G&T and a quick tour around the kitchen cupboards she just got on with things. I never felt I had to get up early to accommodate her or stay up late to ensure she had everything she needed. However when our timetables coincided she was great craic. Your relative could take a leaf out of her book, it sounds like you were a better host than he was a guest.

[NewPotatoes]

I don't think the six kids, with or without a new au pair, have anything to do with it! In providing a relative of her DH's with a free ensuite room with TV and desk (which involved moving two teenagers out of their space) AND free meals for four days, all at short notice, when her DH wasn't even there, the OP was being a very generous and accommodating host, regardless of whether she had any children at all! Both the visitor and the 'friend' were rude.

[Rumpelstiltskin143]

Your friend is a shit.

Reply to his comment on Facebook. "Sounds like a perfect plan!"

[GabsAlot]

did he think h was in a hotel-cheeky git

yes i sometimes offer drinks but i usually say help yourself when u want something youre not his servant

tell your dh he wont be coming back

[honeylulu]

What a tosser.
I would love to play snap at breakfast Btw especially on a dull business trip.

[DailyMailPenisPieces]

What an utter arse he is.

[mygorgeousmilo]

You were an amazing host! He, on the other hand, is a pig!

[BestZebbie]

For the first ten minutes of his stay, whilst you were showing him the room etc, he wasn't being unreasonable to think "I wonder if I'll get a cup of tea".

For the remaining 3.99 days, he was being an arse. Ironing!!

[JudyCoolibar]

If someone is kind enough to offer me free board and lodging for four days, especially with an en suite, and especially if they are juggling six children including a baby with medical issues, I bloody hope I'd be falling over myself to insist on helping her and bringing her tea and coffee. So I'm afraid your friend's an idiot.

[Haffdonga]

I'm a coffee addict and also fairly shy so someone telling me I should 'make myself at home' would not make me feel comfortable rummaging through their kitchen cupboards to find their mugs and instant coffee.

If you really want a guest to feel at home you need to be a bit more specific saying something like Please make yourself a tea or coffee whenever you want it. I don't drink it but the mugs are here, coffee's here and help yourself to milk in the fridge

Having said that, fuck him - incredibly rude. And ironing???? Arse,

[nicenewdusters]

Give your friends phone number to Mr Hotel Inspector. Next time he needs someone to take advantage of he can go there, and she can boil the kettle for him until her arse falls off .

[Bloopbleep]

Wow! What a prick. Tell him next time he can pay for those services if he wants them. Then charge 5star prices and spit in his tea.

[AnotherPrickInTheWall]

Text him to say you regret to have to inform him ,the kids all have worms/scabies and it is likely they will have infected him too.
Tell him they are of the most resistant kind and require immediate medical attention.