We had a relative of DH's staying. Well, I say we, but really it's me as DH is working away for 12 weeks. It was a last minute thing, they were at a conference for 4 days and were meant to be staying with PIL, but FIL's health has left him not really up to guests at the moment.
We've juggled round rooms so he had a comfortable room with a desk, tv etc and an en suite (my two 13yos left their room for 4 days to facilitate this). I made a dinner for him each night and left it in the oven. When he arrived I showed him where everything was and said to help himself at any time.
I don't drink tea or coffee so I'm shit at remembering to offer after the first cup when people arrive. Everyone knows to just help themselves though.
I've picked him up twice when there were train issues and I made sure the kids didn't annoy him in the mornings at breakfast.
He left this morning and drove home after his conference and I'm bloody fuming at a "jokey" (but obviously barbed) comment about staying in a hotel the next time as he'd actually get a cup of tea occasionally and his ironing done! Ungrateful shit!
However, in my moan to my friend she let slip that actually she thinks not offering cups of tea and coffee to guests isn't good. I always do when people first arrive, but tbh I just think 'make it your home' and happily let guests get on with it. No one has ever commented negatively before but I'm wondering if they are all secretly thinking I'm a shit host.
In my defence I'm juggling 6 kids and a new au pair (first ever au pair as have baby that needs lots of medical appointments) at the moment so making tea and coffee isn't high on the agenda
AIBU?
to think this isn't bad hosting?
lalalalyra · 22/09/2016 22:00
The only reason he was here was because MIL only remembered he was coming a couple of days before he arrived. FIL has recently been diagnosed with dementia and although we knew of the issues he'd been having the wider family didn't really know the detail. I offered because I knew there was no way MIL would have said "you can't stay here" and I knew that it would be too much for her (and too confusing for FIL to have someone a similar age to DH and BIL in the house as he's starting to struggle with who is who).
Usually having guests isn't a problem here, ironically mainly because I do just leave them to it. Usually guests just fit in, or do their own thing if its a work related thing. This time was a bit different because the au pair has the spare room. She's new so she's still finding her feet, and I'm still finding my feet with her too. Everything is all a bit up in the air.
DH has hit the roof, apparently the email was "blunt". Cousin apologised and tried to make out it was a joke. Then said he was just showing off in front of his mate. I just 'Hmmmed' and suggested he stay in a hotel next time. I'm not going to say that it's ok because it's not, and I don't really care if someone I see a couple of times a year is offended by me not taking an apology all graciously.
BIL brought me round a box of chocolates and has taken the kids out for dinner. So there's just me, chocolate and the (mercifully sleeping) baby. Maybe it was worth being offended! 
Thank you!
Good for your BiL, and your DH. Your cousin-in-law sounds horrible. And a sexist arse. 
Agee with expat that was very kind of you to offer to have him instead of your MIL, but you've both got too much on to have a guest who takes the piss like that again. He obviously did not give a shit that he was an inconvenience nor would again.
Glad your DH emailed him and your BIL needs to be cloned!
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