To wonder why many new relationships, when one/both parties have prev DC, need to be validated by having a child

[WarholsLittleQueen]

together??

Someone mentioned this in another thread, and it is something I have wondered for a while so I thought it warranted a new thread.

Practically everyone I know has 1 - 2 DC with a previous DP / DH, then at least one with someone else. And I include myself in this, I have an older DC with exH 1 as well as my 2 DC with my most recent exH who also has a DC with an ex. never having any more if I meet anyone else

Has anyone else noticed this? Or is it just in my social circles ? (Doubt it as lots and lots of blended families on MN alone)

I know this sounds terrible but I really don't know how else to word it It makes me almost wonder if, is it like the men want to "mark their territory" when they get with a woman with kids? I know exH2 couldn't wait to have a baby with me and we quickly TTC'd as did a lot of my friends who already had DC when they met their dp's/dh's

I only know one exception and its My exH1. He has remarried a lovely lady with 2 teen children of her own and they've been together years. And everyone always says awwww why don't they have one together? As if its really odd that they haven't.

Just interests me and wanted to get peoples thoughts!

WhooooAmI24601
I absolutely did love him. But love isn't always a permanent state, and adulthood means sometimes your family plans go out the window and you have to build new plans. Beautifully put.

It is so nice to hear that. So often I read that the previous partner is a twat/abusive/bully etc.

(It's off the point - sorry OP). FWIW I agree with you OP and I think there are certainly some people who do this - women more than men in my experience. It's as if it is a permanent way of, as you said, validating the relationship. " Look, it wasn't just an affair - we've got kids together!"

But also I do agree that there are plenty of other reason - many of which have already been stated.

*WhooooAmI24601
I absolutely did love him. But love isn't always a permanent state, and adulthood means sometimes your family plans go out the window and you have to build new plans. Beautifully put.

It is so nice to hear that. So often I read that the previous partner is a twat/abusive/bully etc*

I agree! So many people slate their exes, they cant all be awful surely?? I have nothing bad to say about exH1 we just weren't suited. He is a lovely man though and a good dad. exh2 another matter entirely

Interesting responses everyone! Thank you