To expect more?

[Chellykins]

My other half can be unimaginably lazy at home and I'm getting to the point of packing his bags.

Give him his due he works damn hard 50+ hours a week but when he is home he does NOTHING! And I mean absolutely jack shit.

We had a baby 6 weeks ago and he has changed 3 nappies, hasn't bathed him or dressed him once ffs he has held him 20 times max and always has an excuse why. Main one being that he smokes "I've just had a ciggie, I can't hold him yet..."

I was washing up after making dinner the other day and the baby cried. He brought him in because he couldn't settle him "I don't know what to do with him" he said!

All through my pregnancy I still did everything as always. The only things I asked of him was to keep the yard clean (we have a dog) and clean the cat's litter tray every few days. The midwife stressed I shouldn't be doing this and I honestly didn't think it was too much to ask for. But he would leave both for well over a week and I would end up flipping out and doing it myself. I'd get so frustrated I would be close to tears and still he didn't think it was a problem.

He never cooks, never cleans and leaves me to sort our 2 children alone.

I remember now why I didn't want anymore children after our first 6 years ago. I once came home from work to find my eldest (8 months at the time) sucking on a piece of plaster while he played on the PlayStation with his friend!

He has this ability to make me feel like I'm over reacting and I end up feeling guilty because he works his ass off at work. Then on the other hand I'm up throughout the night breastfeeding, walk 2 hours a day for the school run, keep the house in order, keep them fed and in clean clothes and everything else in between!

This week for example he has booked 4 days off work for a fricking game but couldn't for registering the baby, I had to go alone and leave father's name blank . He told me he would take our oldest to school each morning giving me a bit of extra time in bed (even though the baby wakes at 5 every morning) and spend time on his game. He spent 18 hours on there yesterday and he is still playing after getting online for 9.30am this morning. "Are you getting him ready for school tomorrow then?" He said. My jaw nearly hit the floor.

I love this man with all my heart but for the sake of my sanity something needs to change and fast!

11 years we have been together and I'm loosing hope of things ever being better.

AIBU? My apologies of it is a bit rambly but my frustration is pouring out right now

Ps if you aren't married and his name isn't on the birth certificate I'm not sure he'd had a lot of rights over your baby if you did leave! You might gently remind him of this smile

True but then Op wouldn't be entitled to anything if they aren't married.

OP - Have I got this right - he is currently taking 4 days off work TO PLAY A VIDEO GAME? And you have a 6 week old baby?

I've never heard of anyone taking time off to play a game I think I'd throw the whole Playststion out the window if I were in your shoes.

And I say this as another one whose DH does no housework. Some would say he acts in an entitled manner because he expects me to cook for him (even something like toast) plus do all his laundry, etc. BUT, he works longer hours than your DH, travels a fair bit, we have a cleaner twice a week and I'm SAHM to 3 DC. He doesn't play games, but if he did, I certainly would not put up with him playing games for 4 hours, let alone 4 days.

When the kids were babies, he would get up in the night and bring them to me to feed, get me some water or even just sit with his arm round me so I didn't feel like I was doing it all alone. He used to walk round the house with the babies to try and prolong the time between feeds and was fine with doing nappies. He's always been happy to be quite hands on with his kids. It's important for bonding with them.

I don't know how you'll change your DH's attitude, but just wanted to let you know YADNBU in the least!

Talk to him in case he has issues that you are unaware of which men are talented at having. If this doesn't help LTB.

He is an arse. His gaming is more important than you and your children.

Oh honey you're already alone.

You can leave and you'll be fine, because you're already doing it, you'll probably be less stressed out without the loser.