about being fed food from Iceland?

[ethelb]

First a bit of background, my brother and his wife are very wealthy and pretty bling. Think £100K car, a boat and four (!) summer holidays abroad this year. This money is from them inheriting her family business.

I am very close to them and adore their children. We live 40 minutes apart, see each other fairly frequently and we often look after their dog and children when they go away for the weekend. This happens a couple of times a year. We also host them and the rest of the family for family gatherings on a fairly regular basis.

We went to go and visit them for dinner a few weeks ago, and I was quite surprised by their behavior. My sister-in-law went out to Iceland when we arrived to get some food. She came back with some horrible frozen little fish pies, which my husband couldn't eat anyway as he is allergic. They pulled a chicken breast from the freezer and gave him that instead. We were served it with a bag of salad and some wine.

AIBU to feel this was a bit odd, and slightly dismissive behavior? I get the impression they would not have done this to their rich friends.

This isn't the first time they have hosted us, but increasingly they just want to go out to very expensive restaurants. I had wanted to avoid an expensive meal this time. AIBU to want nicer food?

[Laiste]

So why not say 'that place is a bit pricey for us, can we go to bla bla instead?' when you see them?

When they come to you and you host, do you do splash out on the hosting? Maybe they hate your food and don't want to get into tit for tat hosting, and that's why they're always pushing to go out?

[Verbena37]

I think either she can't cook or they feel so at ease in your company that they didn't think you'd mind just having a quickie supper that doesn't take much effort?

Perhaps she had been poorly or something?
Although a take away or nice ready meal dinner for four would would have been nice. But hey ho, we can't all be perfect.

[Laiste]

I've never written the word hosting before and now i've done it three times and it's lost it's meaning

[Grumpyoldblonde]

This Iceland meal happened a few weeks ago (your words) has this been troubling you all this time?
You say you are close to them, move on, maybe they can't cook, maybe something happened that day, it's really no big deal.

[ethelb]

To the people asking why we don't suggest something cheaper.

I once suggested we just get the prix fixe menu at one of these very expensive places and got shot down immediately.

I have tried to say no restaurant suggestions but then we are invited again, to the same place a few weeks later, so the message doesn't get through.

[ethelb]

No = no to!

I would generally cook if they were coming over.

[Yorkieheaven]

They sound a tad ditsy regarding the fish.

At least you had wine.

Nowt wrong with Iceland though.

[DoinItFine]

you should appreciate someone making food for you!

Nobody made food for the OP. The defrosted food. Not the same.

Your instruction about appreciating people making food for you applies to this couple.

They accept the OP's hospitality and don't reciprocate.

That is rude.

[DoinItFine]

Are these tight fuckers really inviting you for dinner after being fed by you and then expecting you to pay?

While they choose the venue and the menu?



Rude, tightfisted gits.

[ShouldHaveBeenJess]

Does anyone have Marty McFlys number? I have accidentally travelled back in time to the 1950's where the woman must always be the perfect hostess and hubby gets to sit on his arsenal doing sweet FA...

[SantasLittleMonkeyButler]

Can you tell your DB that you simply can't afford the restaurants they would like to eat in? That way, it is their choice to either treat you to eat there, to find somewhere cheaper or to cook.

To me, the lack of effort with the meal is a definite response to your refusal to eat out. In fact, they were possibly quite miffed that you were making them cook when they didn't want to!

I entirely understand where you are coming from with regard to expensive meals - I also have richer siblings with fine tastes! However, I do think you need to be very blunt with your DB about your reasons for not wanting to eat out all the time.

They probably just think you're being fussy.

[WaitroseCoffeeCostaCup]

Beg to differ with whoever said chicken from Iceland is the same as chicken from Waitrose. It's not.

[ShouldHaveBeenJess]

Arse, even! Dammit.

[Cherylene]

They don't sound much fun tbh

[DoinItFine]

Let's see what IcelandCoffeeCostaCup has to say about that, Waitrose

[NauticalDisaster]

YANBU, they were not hospitable at all.

[ethelb]

I hadn't really thought of them hosting us at restaurants, but it does kind of make sense. God knows how I would suggest they pay for it though.

They are generous in other ways though, they paid for us to have a stunninv werkend away last year as an anniversary present, which we would never be able to reciprocate.

[chinlo]

Maybe they're happy that they don't have to show off in front of you like they do with their rich friends! It's a sign that they're more comfortable with you

[2kids2dogsnosense]

YANBU - they have enough money to treat you, and you are guests in their home.

If you go to a restaurant, I would expect to pay for my guests, not have them pay for themselves (which it seems from your post, you are expected to do).

If we were eating at home, I would expect food commensurate with the income of the individual (they're on benefits; supermarket generic brands: they are wealthy beyond the dreams of avarice;at least M&S or Waitress ready meals (if they can't be @rsed to cook) and either way appropriate to the food preferences/requirements of the guest). Personally I fall between these two stools, but would always pull out the stops for any guests, friends or family.

I think they're being mean. Do they eat like this when they're on their own?

[WinterBloom]

Mmm... did someone say Chicago Town Pizza and Blossom Hill? Now I've got a complete craving going on!

[Cherylene]

I think they forgot.

[Optimist3]

Can you suggest ordering in takeaways at theirs if they are not in the mood to cook

[EdmundCleverClogs]

Hang on - they paid for you to have a weekend away, then you public moan about the food they make you? Wow....

[ChickenSalad]

A chicken breast from Iceland is exactly the same from waitrose

Have you no taste buds? It really isn't.

[celeste83]

I've been to India where there are some genuine poor people, too poor to put three sqaure meals a day on the table for their family. Not being funny but I think you should just consider yourself lucky to have first world problems