about being fed food from Iceland?

[ethelb]

First a bit of background, my brother and his wife are very wealthy and pretty bling. Think £100K car, a boat and four (!) summer holidays abroad this year. This money is from them inheriting her family business.

I am very close to them and adore their children. We live 40 minutes apart, see each other fairly frequently and we often look after their dog and children when they go away for the weekend. This happens a couple of times a year. We also host them and the rest of the family for family gatherings on a fairly regular basis.

We went to go and visit them for dinner a few weeks ago, and I was quite surprised by their behavior. My sister-in-law went out to Iceland when we arrived to get some food. She came back with some horrible frozen little fish pies, which my husband couldn't eat anyway as he is allergic. They pulled a chicken breast from the freezer and gave him that instead. We were served it with a bag of salad and some wine.

AIBU to feel this was a bit odd, and slightly dismissive behavior? I get the impression they would not have done this to their rich friends.

This isn't the first time they have hosted us, but increasingly they just want to go out to very expensive restaurants. I had wanted to avoid an expensive meal this time. AIBU to want nicer food?

[sizeofalentil]

Iceland do some nice things. Them serving up food your DH is allergic to, but if the food was nice (in their eyes) I don't see what the fuss is. What did you want?

[TaterTots]

It sounds to me like you didn't want to split the bill in a fancy restaurant but we're hoping they'd spring for a gourmet treat instead. Now you're hacked off that you got fed Kerry Katona's leftovers instead

[ThoraGruntwhistle]

Iceland sells all the same stuff sold by supermarkets, it's not literally just frozen food. It has fresh meat, fruit and veg etc. Have some of you never been in one or something?

[PickAChew]

Well, if it's good enough for his orangeness...

There's worse food out there. And people don't get to be rich by buying the most expensive of absolutely everything.

The fish pie for someone allergic was poor, though - so long as they were aware it would be a problem. And maybe your brother is a crap cook, which is why he's no longer working in restaurants.

[Badders123]

I was invited for dinner at his home by a chef
You can imagine my excitement...what prodigious kitchen winders would he produce?
A birds eye crispy children fillet and salad and for desert a pot of child's pudding (I think it was rollo)
I didn't see him again!
Just because someone can cook doesn't mean they enjoy it.

[Tiredqueen87]

Maybe they have money to spend on nice things because they are careful with it in the first place. If the pie had of appeared out of a Waitrose bag would you be such a snob?

[ethelb]

Interesting idea Shovetheholly, they may be 'showing us' but I have never 'refused' to eat out with them. I'm just getting a bit bankrupted by the cost!

Generally we invite them to ours, and they invite us out. That's fine and what we have been doing for years, but they do tend to choose very pricey places. The kind that are sometimes mentioned on here as big occasion type places.

[LagunaBubbles]

I get the impression they would not have done this to their rich friends

What makes you think this?

As you surely know, Iceland specialises in.... frozen food

Yes they do, they also have fresh food to.

[TaterTots]

They could easily have forgotten about the allergy. It's not the sort of thing that will have come up in conversation on a weekly basis.

[Scarydinosaurs]

When you cook for them, do you make an effort?

[LagunaBubbles]

What did they say when your DH reminded them he was allergic to fish?

[JenLindleyShitMom]

A birds eye crispy children fillet and salad and for desert a pot of child's pudding (I think it was rollo)

A children fillet?? I'd have been disappointed too. My DC do not look at all tasty. You need to eat them before toddlerhood to get the best of the scrummyness

[shovetheholly]

I know the feeling ethel! The friends I mentioned generally want to eat out at places that are £80-100 a head, just for food. Then they order £60 a bottle wine. It's one of those very socially awkward things to deal with when this is the 'normal' expectation, not a special occasion.

Sorry for getting the wrong end of the stick about you 'refusing' to eat out! I misread your OP as saying that you'd hinted/mentioned it was getting expensive.

[Bestthingever]

I don't understand the snobbery about Iceland. There is some crap like pepperoni lasagna but most of their food is very good quality. The frozen fish selection is excellent. I wouldn't feed anyone those cook from frozen chicken breasts though.

[arrrrghhwinehelpswithteens]

Both Iceland and Farmfoods have frozen and fresh foods and quite frankly most of it is perfectly ok! We do a bulk shop of frozen stuff that can be chucked into casseroles etc. or fish fillets from Farm Foods every couple of months.

That said, I would be tempted to make more of an effort if someone was coming to dinner with us. Is there a chance they'd forgotten about the dinner and just went "oh shit" and went to the closest place, rather than being deliberate?

I also know chefs who absolutely hate cooking at home as it's too much of a busman's holiday, and wives of chef's who won't cook at home because said chef is an arsy git who always comments on the cooking. So it could be a bit of everything?

On the restaurants, I agree with PP who have said to suggest other, less expensive places. We have had to do this with friends who earn far more than us - and if they truly care about you then they are happy to compromise.

[Mycatsabastard]

I think it's awful that they served frozen food.

They could have at least cooked it! :o

[celeste83]

Just because they are rich doesn't mean you can expect silver service 3 course meal. Perhaps they just feel comfortble in your company not to have to have the pressure of cooking a fine cuisine.

[YelloDraw]

There is an Iceland round the corner from me. Some of their stuff is really nice!

[Bestthingever]

I think you're right Celeste. You shouldn't have to go to a massive fuss when you're hosting your siblings. I wouldn't think twice if my db and sil served that kind of food.

[DoinItFine]

Generally we invite them to ours, and they invite us out. That's fine and what we have been doing for years, but they do tend to choose very pricey places.

So you host them at home, and then they host you at a restaurant.

So it's their choice of venue, and they pay.

If you host them and they never host you in return, then they are ill-mannered and cheap.

Of course you don't serve nasty, cheap frozen food and bagged salads to guests who regularly host you.

Money can't buy class, clearly.

[MunchCrunch01]

it doesn't sound too bad to me, i can't think it's worth getting upset about. Maybe they're a bit tired at the moment for some reason? I'd wait and see if it is a pattern of them not being appreciate or making an effort.

[Niloufes]

I suspect they cannot cook very well and because they have money they go out. I know a couple like this. They hate cooking in and if they have to it is always ready meals from somewhere.

[Owllady]

Alot of the stuff in Iceland is fine and I have a real problem with people moaning about being fed by other people. Say thanks with good grace.

[DoinItFine]

I suspect they cannot cook very well and because they have money they go out.

Indeed.

But that doesn't get them out of hosting duties.

If they host at a restaurant, they should pay.

[Horispondle]

YNBU. I'd be pissed off at this too. Have they been eating out so much they have totally forgotten how to cook/host?