To limit my dds' phone use?

[Dancergirl]

My older dds are in Year 9 and Year 11. Yesterday Year 9 dd got in from school around 4pm. She started her homework at nearly 9pm

I was in and out the house with my other dc in the afternoon but as far as I could see dd2 was watching tv, on her phone and generally messing around.

Dd1 who is in her GCSE year is also spending too much time on her phone. Dh and I are thinking that if the phone is such a distraction then we should intervene and set some limits.

So we are thinking of saying that they are allowed one hour of phone time from when they come in from school then they can have it back when homework and any other chores are done.

AIBU?

My DC are 13 and 15 and phones / iPads have been a HUGE issue.

At the start of this term I started a new regime and am now very explicit about the behaviours I expect. Nothing outrageous - just being decent, functioning members of the family really,.

I have clear expectations about getting ready for school, making beds, emptying the dishwasher, setting the table, completing homework and electronics away at least half an hour before bed.

As long as they do this then I trust them to manage the usage of phones etc. If they can't do it then there is a sliding scale of consequences - loss of devices for one hour, then two then 24 hours. Every day starts a fresh and no shouting or nagging from me. One reminder and that's it.

Week three and it's settling ok. They still use their devices much more than I'd like, but they are much better organised and I nag much less.

Ok, day 1 of new rules. I have said half an hour of phone use after they get home and then phones are put away till after dinner and homework. I've had a multitude of excuses - I need to speak to my friend about the work, I need to check on whatsapp about a piece of homework etc. But I have stood my ground.

loublue I agree with you, they SHOULD be able to manage their time. But the phone is too big a distraction. They are both doing well but there is always room for improvement and I want them to work hard and effectively without a screen in close proximity.

user - regarding whatsapp, they chat about the work if it's unclear or someone will post a picture of a graph so the others can see what it looks like. But surely they should learn to work independently or how can teachers see what they understand or don't understand?

They are generally good girls. It's so hard to get the balance right.

Dancergirl I think that's fine, I think they will still let the teachers know if they were being unclear because teenagers have a tendency to let people know if something has frustrated them :-)

I guess that it is independent learning as long as one of them aren't whatsappin all the answers around to the others etc. It's sort of more team problem solving the way they are doing it, which is actually a really positive skill for teenagers to grasp in my opinion!

Well done on standing your ground! It won't be long before they realise the rules are around to stay (and other parents may follow on too!).

Arrggh, now my older dd (15) is saying to me (quite calmly) that it doesn't work for her, that's not the way she works and shouldn't she be starting to be responsible for her work??

my older dd (15) is saying to me (quite calmly) that it doesn't work for her

Is she a mumsnetter?

That's all well & good but tell her that her homework needs to be completed by 9pm.