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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

When you finished with babies, what did you do next?

60 replies

fragiolo · 17/09/2016 22:37

I have recently gone through a phase of feeling very broody for a final late baby but, for a whole range of reasons, we are coming down on the side of not having another one. I have an established career and older DC. Still, it has given me the feeling that I need some type of new beginning or focus while I close the door on that phase of life for good. Has anyone started something new when you reached that stage of knowing you were done with the baby years and not going back? I would love to hear some inspiring (or any) stories!

OP posts:

TheLastRoseOfSummer · 17/09/2016 23:13

Oh yeah, I did a degree, and a post grad and then I did another diploma because I didn't have the time to do another degree/pg qual and wanted something to do in the evenings.

hennybeans · 17/09/2016 23:16

We're getting a puppy! Joined slimming world and gym, several village committees, really expanded my social circle, and started several new hobbies. When my littlest starts school I'll volunteer as well. Oh, and am doing a part time degree (nearly forgot!).

CocktailQueen · 17/09/2016 23:17

A job?

Original poster

fragiolo · 17/09/2016 23:20

A lot of this stuff sounds like it will need to wait a few years as I still have a lot to do in terms of childcare and having a job but when I consider the effort and work I would have had to put into a baby, then there must be another thing I could take up. I think trying to focus a bit more on fitness would be really good. Its great to hear about all these things people have found.

OP posts:

Original poster

fragiolo · 17/09/2016 23:21

Eva50 I had to laugh at your candour. Always a certain amount of insanity involved in having any baby and I'm sure he is wonderful

OP posts:

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeG0es · 17/09/2016 23:22

Hobbies. I have studied with the OU, go to ballet, tap dance and pilates classes, got an allotment. My DCs also have lots of hobbies, so organising all that, plus work and school stuff keeps me busy. No way would I go back to the baby years now.

SloanePeterson · 17/09/2016 23:23

I have realised off the back of this thread that so many of my friends have lost weight and started to actually be kinder to themselves once all their dc are at school. The preschool years can be such a grind, to finally have that bit of breathing space must be fantastic if you can harness that energy into something good. I told my friend I'd join the gym with her but won't be strong enough for a while yet, they do have a pool so I might join up and do some swimming initially.

Ditsy4 · 17/09/2016 23:23

Fragiolo
I went to college full time for two years and retrained. Gained my Diploma then started back to work.

Sloane
I am sorry to hear that. I'm sure the school would love some help.
Listening to readers, helping make resources. In fact if you are crafty why not combine the two and start a story sack group

Original poster

fragiolo · 17/09/2016 23:26

If I had a baby I would get a long period of time off work. I need to go on maternity leave without having a baby, so I can do all this stuff you are suggesting.

OP posts:

StStrattersOfMN · 17/09/2016 23:26

Umm I suggested we needed a puppy to complete our family, and ensured we got the neediest puppy that ever lived, this guaranteeing a lifetime of not having to go back to work.

I hated work, loved being at home, and DH really appreciated the whole 1950's your dinner is on the table thing. I really appreciated being able to do exactly as I pleased, the DDs loved coming home from school to me, so we were all very happy with that arrangement.

Danglyweed · 17/09/2016 23:28

Starting uni, dt's are neartly 2, by the time theyre in school i'll hopefully be graduate

Liiinoo · 17/09/2016 23:32

I briefly became obsessed with fitness and housework. Then I trained as a counsellor and had a voluntary counselling job in the evenings and a day job (paid, not counselling) in a school. Then I went to uni to train as a psychotherapist and am currently looking to set up in private practice.

I had a great life from 0-49, but for me a brilliant new life began at 50.

booklooker · 17/09/2016 23:34

Have you tried Gin?

MyMorningHasBroken · 17/09/2016 23:35

I had my first at 29 after working abroad, I stopped work to have the others (5,3) and now at 36 (youngest coming up to 3) I'm preparing to get back into work. I started a course 6 months ago and am hoping to get that done by Feb.
I have a degree but it is not really related to what I am studying now and so really this has helped me start afresh.
I have a placement for my course also, so I go into work 2 days a week (although not paid right now).
I also lost 3 stone :) and bought a new wardrobe (and put it up myself)

I couldn't go back to having babies again. I'm done!!

gingerboy1912 · 17/09/2016 23:38

I had a year of doing nothing extra as I was already working two days a week, I just enjoyed my new free time to sleep, have coffee with friends watch stuff on tv, went to the cinema, sat in garden went for a swim, did a bit more housework. Then after the first year I increased my hours and did some studying.

insan1tyscartching · 17/09/2016 23:40

We got a dog too, he's definitely my substitute baby and I do some voluntary work and indulge my love of reading. It has been absolute bliss to be able to read for extended periods rather than a few snatched chapters here and there.

HeddaGarbled · 17/09/2016 23:45

Holidays. Call it travel if you want to make it sound more worthwhile, but oh, the joy of holidays that aren't dictated by the needs of small children. And art galleries and plays and national trust houses and proper grown up restaurants where you have proper grown up conversations.

Salmotrutta · 17/09/2016 23:46

I went back to education, got my degree, worked in Academia then trained as a teacher.

I now teach Secondary and absolutely love it - even the horrible pupils bits when I think "What the fuck??"

QueenLizIII · 17/09/2016 23:47

May I flip this on its head?

What do you do with your life if you realise you are probably never going to marry or have children?

Salmotrutta · 17/09/2016 23:50

Mind you I couldn't have done any of the above if DH (good man that he is) hadn't been a proper 50:50 partner.

MyFriendsCallMeOh · 17/09/2016 23:50

Retrained as a swim coach, set up my own swim school....

gillybeanz · 17/09/2016 23:50

I got the education I had never had, it took me about 8 years, then a very early menopause during which time I had dd. Oh how we laughed, wouldn't swop her for the world she's 12 now.

mushroomsontoast · 17/09/2016 23:51

have you tried gin? that's brilliant.

Salmotrutta · 17/09/2016 23:52

Queen - you presumably carve out a career for yourself and make good friendships/have outside interests to keep you interacting with the world.

Biffsboys · 17/09/2016 23:56

Enjoy life as a couple ? Go days out with friends ? Just enjoy life and the children you have

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