to choose a different word to 'vagina'?

[tryhard]

I have 3 DDs and we somehow over time we have developed lots of terms that they (and we) use for their vaginas, but we never use the acutal word 'vagina' itself. I didn't think anything of it until a friend said she felt it was ridiculous not to refer to it by its 'proper' name, yet I feel that by accepting 'vagina', you are accepting a masculine, biological description of a body part that is so much more than that. So I'm embracing these different, sometimes whacky & weird labels, that my girls choose for themselves as a liberating act of self-description rather than a coy avoidance of a 'proper' term. AIBU?

Taboo villas 😊

I'm sorry Fathom that was your experience & I wouldn't want that & your post has given me pause for thought.

I think I see what you're on about, the use of "vagina" to mean "female genitals" is slightly irritating, the vagina is really just one part, and it's quite incorrect to refer to the external parts as a vagina anyway. A lot of people do seem to do this and it's annoying.

I think vulva is fine when you're talking about the external parts, which is mostly what young children tend to mean anyway. I mean I didn't even know where my vagina was until I was about 14, and while it's an important part for sure, it's not the only part and nor was it really relevant to me until I started menstruating and wanting to have sex.

I don't talk to DS about his penis's future sexual function because it hasn't come up. When he is older, I will explain it. Currently he hasn't asked. For him it's a thing to wee with and find hilarious and that's it. We use both willy and penis. I don't have a daughter but I think I'd use both vulva and maybe another name like willy, but I haven't really thought about it in much detail.

Talking about the "vagina" and "clitoris" and "labia" seems to be a strange level of detail for me for a child - I wouldn't talk to my son about his "shaft" and "glans". If something came up in context - for example a problem with the foreskin - of course then it's relevant, and I wouldn't specifically withhold the vocabulary because I don't think there's anything wrong with it, it's just that children don't really need a huge level of detail to begin with. For example we tend to refer to their tummy, not the various organs in the abdominal area. We talk about their legs rather than calf, thigh and shin. When those come up in a relevant situation then the words might come up and can be explained but it's not like you'd be teaching them to a three year old learning body parts for the first time.