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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

if your dh had said "you have a lie in, i'll sort the kids out"

45 replies

eviletc · 04/02/2007 10:44

would it would be reasonable to expect him to wash up/tidy up the breakfast things? and for him to bath all 3 of his dcs, not just the older two? or that he could at least change dd's stinky nappy even if he wasn't going to bath her? and if he had got out all the ironing to look for a shirt, that he could put it away again and not leave it in the hall?
and even though "he didn't have time" to do all those things, he had time to have a lengthy soak in the bath himself and then play a good 20 mins of playstation with ds.

and he has now buggered off out for the day leaving me with grumpy kids as they think he said he would be back for lunch when in fact he said he would be back for tea?

unreasonable, moi?!!!

feel better now done that

OP posts:

PoppiesMum · 04/02/2007 11:26

Oh Lullaby..does he know how you feel about all this?

QueenEagle · 04/02/2007 11:28

I find it's not worth it tbh. dh sits on the pc shouting at them to be quiet. The kitchen is a mess as is the living room when I come down.

The dh gets pissed off when I mention it.

pollyanna · 04/02/2007 11:34

my dh is like this. He is good about me having a lie-in rather than him, but then decides to stay upstairs with them a bit before going down ( cue lots of noise and shrieking from hungry children). Then when he is down, he doesn't just give them cereal - he decides to cook for them too! Today I came down to the remains of scrambled eggs and beans and all the pots and pans etc and they were all sitting at the table making cardboard houses (with lots of bits of cuttings, glue and pens all over the place). dd3's (very full) nappy fell down just as I appeared

I had to empty last nights dishwasher and then tidy up.

dh's argument is that these things can wait, and it is nice to do things with the dcs. my argument is that he can do things with the dcs after he has cleared up

Sheraz · 04/02/2007 11:38

Same her if I get a lie in it just means when ido get upi i am rushing around clearing up aa the mess. Dh alwys gets up early with boys on a Sunday morning because.....

He watches MAtch of teh Day.
Then cooks himself a fry up.
Then leaves the dirty pans /plates out. Grrrrrrrrr!

fizzbuzz · 04/02/2007 11:39

Dh and I do it in rota. He gets up v early with dd, then I get up about 8.30am, and he goes back to bed.

We tidy the kitchen etc between us, and he doesn't leave a mess.

hunkermunker · 05/02/2007 23:34

I don't think it's because you lurve them.

I think it's because you let them.

colditz · 05/02/2007 23:37

But you don't have to clear up the mess they leave. Put your coat on, take your mobile, and say "I will come back when you ring me to tell me, truthfully, that you have tidied up"

I have done this. 20 minutes and he was on the phone. Job done.

colditz · 05/02/2007 23:38

Oh, and don't take the kids.

hunkermunker · 05/02/2007 23:39

Exactly, Colditz.

I think some women just enjoy moaning about their "uvver 'alves" actually.

lou33 · 05/02/2007 23:40

i dont wash/tidy the breakfast things up until late on weekends, they certainly arent going to have baths in the morning, and i dont iron

in fact i generally dont get up until late on weekends, all but 1 of them are capable of sorting their own breakfasts out, and the one who cant gets it made for him by one of the others, aged 14.5 10 and 8

weekends are for relaxing in my house

plus its the only chance i usually get to see my oh as we dont live together

Skribble · 06/02/2007 00:13

Sorry eviltec are you sure you aren't married to the same man as me!!!

No it can't be as you said he fed them. I come back to find children haven't eaten all day and everthing is out everywhere, but he says "I emptied the dishwasher! AND FILLED IT AGAIN!" Oh and he plays the playstation or computer by himself, I complained and he says "but you sit on the computer for hours!?" Difference is I wait until the kids are in bed and everything else is done!!!

colditz · 06/02/2007 00:16

Take the moouse out with you and leave a list of what you do every day.

cori · 06/02/2007 17:37

I agree with hunker and colditz, you dont expect anything of them so you get nothing. and of course your DH wont be able to cook, clean, look after the kids as well as you because thats 'your job'. You probably couldnt do his job as well as him.

Pitchounette · 06/02/2007 18:22

Message withdrawn

hermykne · 06/02/2007 18:25

my dh never takes them down in the morn, maybe once in the alst 6mths. and his reason - oh they wouldnt sit with me! thye'll be back up to you.
but i know they wouldnt .
so whilst we both go to bed at the same time, i'm always up with kids and he may lie on for anohter hour minimum if not hr and half

Original poster

eviletc · 06/02/2007 18:32

good evening - am astounded that this thread is still going!

i do not "let" my dh do nothing.if i tell him to do something, he will do it. eventually. it is the lack of initiative when left to his own devices that gets me. i may well have a day out v soon, leaving a list of chores in my wake. it sounds like fun.

hunker - i love moaning about my 'uvver 'alf. i do it over the fence to my neighbours, fag in hand, slippers on, curlers in and with a brew in the other hand. then i go back in and get on the phone to take a break magazine to sell the stories my neighbours have just told me.
hence i am too busy to do housework and have to moan at my 'uvver 'alf to do it.

OP posts:

Lullabyloo · 06/02/2007 21:49

heeeeeeeeeee heeeeeeeee heeeeeee
i lurve you evil

ILoveDolly · 06/02/2007 22:03

what i know is if i left him alone with dd they would have a lovely day but chores would remain undone and baby remain unwashed

Whatshallidonowpeople · 06/03/2018 07:05

My dh works hard all week, and so do I. Only difference is that he gets in the car to drive to work and I just go downstairs with dd.

You need to leave dh's at home all day with your lo's and show them that is't not an easy alternative to 'real' work

The only thing thst would show is how easy stay at home parents have it. Maybe you should go in and do some if his work when you expect him to do yours.

maras2 · 06/03/2018 07:15

11 YEAR OLD ZOMBIE THREAD.

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