Taking a year off mat leave changes perception of your ambition

[CeCeBloomer]

I am very much getting the impression that anything longer than 6/7 months off is pushing it if you want to be taken seriously in your career?

I hope it won't for me when I take mat leave. It does concern me but I am reassured that where I work it doesn't appear to be a hold back.

Plus I'll be working, hopefully towards a qualification while off which my boss will have sight of.

I have taken the full year twice, with only seven months back between maternity leave. I've also dropped down to a three day week. I have been treated differently, overlooked and sidelines but have lodged a sexual discrimination complaint with HR over lack of opportunities/comments suggesting people who have been there should be prioritised for training. It is after all illegal to penalise a woman for going on maternity leave! They love me as you can imagine...... To be honest though, my priorities have shifted and although I'd never admit that at work, it has given allowed me to throw hell to the wind and always get home on time/say exactly what I think etc. It's been weirdly liberating!

I'd say take the full year plus all your accumulated leave and bank holidays etc as you like once you're back. No-one looks back in old age and regrets not spending an extra 5 months at work. Take the time with your child, brazenly enjoy it and make the most of it - you are entitled to it. Don't adjust your leave to fit others expectations, it will only exacerbate the problem for other women.

CeCe I don't have children precisely because my mother preferred working to childcare. Why have children if they see so little of you when they are small? I hear lots of women on Mumsnet remark how working is an economic loss for them.

Erica, yes, funny how men don't get asked what is the point of having children if they go back to work.

I work in a tough industry and at 39 I've just had my first baby and I fully intend to take 14 months off and I get a very generous maternity package for that time.
All but one of my colleagues took the full 15 months and the couple that wanted promotion got it in the following 12-18 months.

I think it really does depend on what your like when you go back. I think some peoples approach to work changes after having a baby, maybe due to parental guilt thrown in to the mix. Each individual women finds it different in regards to what happens in the career

blue agreed never see double standards on this topic ... no-one ever asks the poor father with pursed lips judging his lack of shared parental leave / dropping his hours down / stopping work / having at least 50:50 if he splits up from his partner etc as otherwise wasn't it pointless for him to have a kid...

Blue- Things will always be different for men and women. It's not fair, but that's only a week in August. Leaning in, shared leave, and shared responsibility will only happen with a very limited number of progressive men.

I'm not sure about perception of ambition but in many jobs a year is a really long time to be off work. I run a division of a reasonably large company and am about to go on my first mat leave - there's no way in hell I'd take the full year, things just would have moved on way too much by then. 6 months is about my limit.

I figure if I want more time off I'd be better off taking it further down the track, probably when I next change role and there's a more natural break in my career. The latter half of mat leave is so poorly paid anyway that there's no great advantage to taking it.

ive had a few people who work for me go off on mat leave and tbh there is a big divide between those who go for 6-9 months and those who take the full 12. The latter group do seem to be much less interested in going full tilt at work when they come back. I always help them facilitate that, but it's very clear their priorities lie elsewhere. Which is totally fine with me, they're still valuable workers but of course it has a knock on impact on promotions etc.

I took a year with DD1 and went back three days. Im fairly senior already but didn't feel overlooked or left out which was surprising as I discovered I was expecting again two dats before I returned! I found that I was a better worker coming back. I loved working as my break from bring a mum and only having three days meant I had to be very efficient whilst working. I had a review just before I left and we discussed my promotion opps for when I return this time. I'm really excited to go back again!

I'm intending on taking a year again for practical reasons having two kids with a 19 month age gap and an over an hour commute each way is going to be tough. Plus we have a serious lack of nurseries here and I can't get a place for dd2 till she just turns 1. But also because it's only a few years out of my career and like PP said I doubt I'll regret this time in the future. I'm very lucky that my company values me but also that I enjoy work and don't wish I was home whilst there!

Erica I think you're a bit out of order on this one. OP wanted views on how long to be off on May leave not a guilt trip about being a working mother but thanks anyway!!!

Not all spouses will lean in to help.

You're right, unfortunately some women do partner with shit men.

i work for a major bank, not 6 figures myself but work with several senior women. 12 months and then dynamic working here is pegeftly acceptable. The genius trick seems to be when you are back to step into a champion role (alongside day job) advocating what a great, progressive and family supportive company we are :) It raises personal profile, exposure in the network world and your arrangement is very public so more secure. We actively want top performing women back in work. Work will always be there.

Might a session with a life / career coach or a mentor be useful?

I took less than 6 months myself because it would have been too hard to return at the same pace if I had taken more than that amount of time off. I am at a very senior level though.

In my experience, and those of women I mentor, if you're going to take 12 months:

come back and show that nothing changed, except you can't do all the hours now. Don't feel guilty about it, just leave when you're meant to leave.

People (both men and women) will put women in the box that says "mother" if you allow them to do so so look out for this.

You need to try and get up to speed very quickly with what happened in your absence, including changing dynamics and politics. This will allow you to quickly re-establish your influence.

I think you have to be considered though, so it isn't about taking on every new opportunity to show that things have changed but being more selective and political about what you do put yourself forward to do.

You need to work very quickly to adapt to being more effective. In my case, it meant that I adopted a one touch policy on emails, made decisions a lot more quickly, I aligned myself with ambitious and smart people so that I could delegate a lot with confidence and I didn't micromanage. The hardest thing I found was that I didn't have time for general chit and chat and this was a negative as people didn't understand that in order to achieve the same with less time, I didn't have the time to "waste".

Talk about your kids but no need to be that poster girl for motherhood!

It really depends on the job and how many kids you have. In high powered banking exec jobs for example - women who want more than one child are encouraged not to take more than a 3 month maternity leave per child (if they want to keep their career on track). However if you only want the one, even a year's maternity leave won't hurt your career.