should foster children be treated differently

[RaggyDoll1]

I don't have any F.C but know loads of people who do, some are very strict and pushy with their own but treat the f.c very leniently, e.g. they don't care about bad grades and homework

Others have very high expectations of their f.c and get upset when they fall short, e.g. wanting pristine rooms and wanting help at dinner party prep
What is reasonable?

Oh, and to all foster carers out there.

McKenzie Sometimes foster carers know about potential dangers of social media than other parents and are likely to be more careful.

My daughters are also not allowed social media until they are (at least) 13.

It may feel that 'all' your friends have access, but it is unlikely to be true. I suggest you talk calmly with your foster carer and your social worker. The more mature you are in general, the more freedoms you are likely to be allowed as you grow up over the next few years.

Same as if they were all biological siblings - treating them fairly, and thinking about what is best for each individual is just good parenting. Fairly is not the same things as 'the same' though.

I was fostered as a child and nothing much was expected of me. Nonetheless even as a child I set my own goals despite the lack of interest. I do think though I could have reached my full potential with some encouragement.

"mouthy and violent but calmed down at 19 and resentful that she wasn't pushed at school."

If she was in a bad enough state to be mouthy and violent, are you sure it was possible to push her at school?

could it not be that what she is actually resenting is having been brought to that state in the first place?

I have never fostered but I have brought up a child who had severe anxiety issues for most of secondary- tbh getting us both through alive took all my energy so I have only to hope she won't be blaming me for her poor grades

SparklyUnicornPoo She sounds like a wonderful person! I'm glad such people exist, and that they are able to have an influence on young people.