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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

is this sexual harrasment or am i overracting

23 replies

user1473980425 · 16/09/2016 00:15

so i am currently unemployed and i am doing course with seetec, i started on Monday and for the past two days two guys on the course have been asking some very sexual questions and making me feel very uncomfortable.

they have been asking some disgusting things such as when did lose my virginity, how many people i had slept with, where the weirdest place i had done it was and he asked me if i "spit or swallow" i said i am not going to answers that he then said you must swallow then.

is the sexual harassment ?
or normal behaviour ?

i wanted to complain but someone told me i need to grow a thicker skin

what should i do?

AIBU to think this is not ok?

OP posts:
missingmumxox · 16/09/2016 00:18

Yes it is and report to tutors

Pumpkintopf · 16/09/2016 00:19

Op this is definitely entirely inappropriate behaviour. Please speak to the course tutor about it. You shouldn't be made to feel uncomfortable in a learning environment.

steff13 · 16/09/2016 00:19

Ugh, of course that's not normal. Are they taking the course, to? Is there an instructor? I'd report it to whatever the governing body of the course is.

EnthusiasmDisturbed · 16/09/2016 00:19

It's sexual harassment

Would you ask those questions ? I certianly wouldn't

Report them no need to put up with this

steff13 · 16/09/2016 00:21

too

agentmarmalade · 16/09/2016 00:23

Seriously, you have to ask if this is normal?

FoundNeverland · 16/09/2016 00:24

Absolutely not OK! Report.

Buzzardbird · 16/09/2016 00:27

Creepy guys probably think they're hilarious . Report the fuckers and teach them some common decency. Be prepared for the comments afterwards when you've hurt their sensitivities.

Lorelei76 · 16/09/2016 00:46

Who is the someone who told you to grow a thicker skin?

Tell the people running the course.

Nocabbageinmyeye · 16/09/2016 00:50

Who the hell asks anyone those sort of questions Shock Totally not normal and definitely report

e1y1 · 16/09/2016 00:55

No way is this ok. If this happened in the workplace and a complaint was made, the people in question would be dismissed.

In fact at my company, people have been dismissed for "lesser" sexual offences.

Omgkitties · 16/09/2016 00:59

Are they 13 year old boys? Hmm Such immature questions to be asking someone you don't know.

Report it!!

user1471734618 · 16/09/2016 01:17

no you do not need to 'grow a thicker skin' !
Put in a serious complaint about it. It is outrageous that women still have to put up with this shyte in the workplace/training setting/ wherever.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 16/09/2016 01:21

Whoever told you to grow a thicker skin. Is a fucking stinking arse hole. You DON'T have to put up with ANYTHING that makes you feel uncomfortable.
Report.

Beeziekn33ze · 16/09/2016 01:21

OP - you surely know that this is sexual harassment. Report these immature offensive young men so that neither you nor anyone else has to put up with them.

Beeziekn33ze · 16/09/2016 01:25

I've just realised that you're not, as I assumed, 16 on at a 6th form college. Now I'm wondering how old these two are, no point in them staying on the course as behaving like that they are unemployable anyway!

Italiangreyhound · 16/09/2016 01:27

Report it, and you do not need to grow a thicker skin, they need to shut up!

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 16/09/2016 01:32

Who was it who said. You need to grow a thicker skin.

Bogeyface · 16/09/2016 01:47

ARe they quite young by any chance? There was a time when I was younger that lads in their late teens and early twenties thought this was fucking hilarious. We were young and naive and just thought we had to put up with it. Needless to say I have taught my daughters differently.

Report and keep reporting.

Sierra259 · 16/09/2016 01:56

Nope, you are definitely not overreacting. Report them asap, and from now on keep a record of dates, times and details of any similar comments.

justilou · 16/09/2016 10:04

I have some questions for you...

  1. Does it make you feel uncomfortable?
  2. Do you feel that if you complain about it, you will be dismissed as either a) A trouble-maker or b) Bereft of a sense of humour
  3. Are these conversations you would be comfortable having in a professional setting and with people of all ages, or are they of a sexual nature?
  4. Do you feel harassed?

If you answer yes to any or all of these questions, then this is sexual harassment and needs to be addressed immediately. I would also consider using my phone to record these conversations to show whomever is in charge, so that they know you're not making this up.

TimeIhadaNameChange · 16/09/2016 10:22

Definitely complain, and if the person who told you to grow a thicker skin is involved with the training I'd complain about them at the same time.

Yourarejokingme · 16/09/2016 10:23

Are they young lads thinking this is funny, but there is another angle. We'll do this to get off this course as they are lazy shits.

Report it and report it now. No one should put up with this behaviour from anyone.

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