To not like the organ donation pressure?

[AtSea1979]

Don't get me wrong I fully support an opt out rather than in policy.
However DD (7 yo) has come home with a form and is asking lots of questions and it all seems a bit much. She has asked me what would I do if she died and whether I'd let them remove her organs etc and whether I'd do the same if it was me. The head cheerfully informed me they have an important letter we all should sign.
I find it all a bit bully tactics, surely it's a personal choice and nothing to do with anyone else.

[JassyRadlett]

Very well put, Gwenci, you've summed up how I feel.

[miserablesod]

I didn't donate my baby's organs when he died. They asked me shortly after telling me he was dying. He did live for a couple more months but he suffered horrendously when he was alive and was constantly messed around with. I wanted him to be left in peace and buried whole, how i had given birth to him. Call me selfish or whatever, i don't regret it and i'd do the same again. I do not have to justify my decision, my son's organs did not belong to the general public, so their opinion does not matter.

No one could possibly understand unless they had been through remotely similar.

[Basicbrown]

Miserablesod only a vile person would call you selfish.

[miserablesod]

Thanks basic. I have been called selfish before.

[Gwenci]

That's despicable. What a vile thing to say to a bereaved parent.

I'm so sorry for your loss miserablesod

Anyone with an ounce of human decency would understand your reasons and respect your decision.

[PeachBellini123]

Miserablesod - so sorry for your loss. No one can judge you for your decision

[Barksdale]

As long as people are informed, they should be able to make the choice themselves about what happens to their own body.

I am personally of the view that the system should be opt-out. But I can appreciate the arguments against.

In China, people on death row frequently have their deaths hastened so that their organs may be harvested. Prisoners provide most of the organs for transplant there. There have been many cases of families being unable to say goodbye because their loved ones are killed off so that the organs can be taken.

For that reason, I'd never make donation compulsory, and I'd be a bit hesitant to make the system opt-out because of the fact that the vulnerable and uneducated would not necessarily have an informed choice about what happens to them.

Obviously the UK isn't China, but it's the end result of seeing bodies as just sacks of meat. When we die, we leave our bodies. But the bodies are buried, cremated and put into urns, cremated and scattered. Even bodies donated for medical student dissection are finally cremated with everything put back inside, as "intact" as possible.

There are deep spiritual reasons for people wanting their bodies to be whole. Especially bodies of children.

I understand the pain of a person whose child may die on the transplant list, and it is awful. But does that give them the right to take an organ from the body of a child another family has lost, if it will cause that person pain and deny them closure? I don't think so.

Everyone should be informed and make their own decisions. People dying on the transplant list should not be put on the shoulders of the bereaved, especially bereaved parents. That is not empathic, not respectful, not kind at all.

[Elphame]

I do have ideological beliefs and I don't think as others on this thread have said that i should be ignored or my beliefs be ignored

I fully agree - my reasons for not donating are entirely my own as is my body and I will not be bullied into donation just because someone on the internet thinks differently.

[Amandahugandkisses]

"There are deep spiritual reasons for people wanting their bodies to be whole. Especially bodies of children."

Thank you! Couldn't have put it better myself. Some people have such a simplistic view of life.

[expatinscotland]

I'm so sorry, miserablesod, for your loss. It wasn't possible for my daughter to donate anything due to her leukaemia, but I cannot say how I would have gone had that been the case and I certainly know it's not as simple as 'I just know if it were me I would . . . ' 'it's the right thing to do' because, well, unless you've been there, you really don't . Thank you for sharing your son with us.

[ElsaAintAsColdAsMe]

miserable you made absolutely the right choice for you.

When you are put into this shitty position you do what you can to get you through the next hour.

Anyone who thinks you are selfish for making a decision that made you the least distressed at a time when all of your decisions have been taken away and your whole life has just crumbled around you can fuck off.

[Cluesue]

I personally believe anyone who opts out should be refused entry on the transplant list,if your not willing to give,you shouldn't be willing to take.

[Cluesue]

Did not rtft,I still stand by what I said but that was in context to an individual not meant towards family having to make the decision for loved ones, if I was in miserables position and it was my child not myself I don't know what decision I would make,doesn't bear thinking of

[MissKatieVictoria]

My personal opinion is, if you would be willing to accept an organ, you should be willing to donate your own.
I'm happily signed up to donate organs, and on the bone marrow register too. I would donate blood but my veins aren't capable.

[Simmi1]

miserable
I am pro donation but I've never been in a position where I've had a decide on behalf of a relative and would never call you selfish for your choice. Your poor little boy.
I have seen how fraught with difficulty the whole donation process is. I have a relative (about 30) who recently received a kidney from his living sister. It was a perfect match and everyone was very excited. However his body is now trying to reject the kidney so he is still in and out of hospital a lot.

[expatinscotland]

Very well-put, Elsa.

[Gibble1]

I signed up to the organ donor register when I was about 9. I went to the post office with my Aunty to get child benefit and they had the donor cards by the window. I picked one up and read it. I asked my Aunty about it when we were walking home and she explained it to me. I signed the card and have carried one ever since.
I am a blood donor too. I hate giving blood. But I still do it. I have seen first hand the difference that a blood transfusion can make.
A close friend of mine lost his nephew recently. He was 16. He had always been very vocal about organ donation and his parents followed his wishes. His organs have saved lives.