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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

He called me babes.

46 replies

billyholiday · 15/09/2016 18:18

Just started speaking to someone on tinder. Everything was going well until he called me babes. AIBU to end it here or should I give him a chance?!

OP posts:

BillThePony · 15/09/2016 21:25

Baby bear was awful, I was speechless and had to invent an emergency.

I did confess to him that it put me off, hopefully he learned from it

ladylambkin · 15/09/2016 21:44

I don't mind it to be honest..however if you don't like it tell him! If he continues to use it then you can bin him

wonderingsoul · 15/09/2016 21:52

Iactually think it says more about you how your reacting now then it does him.

Original poster

billyholiday · 15/09/2016 21:56

And what does it say about me?

OP posts:

wtafamidoinginlife · 15/09/2016 22:04

Id say give him a chance. He might otherwise be perfect. He might have been trying to be nice? Just tell him you don't like it, he's not a mind reader, others might like it?

Notmorecake · 16/09/2016 07:42

My husband and I call each other this all the time. I had no idea it was so unacceptable. Do we need to drop it from Face Book posts that involve referring to each other.

neonrainbow · 16/09/2016 07:44

It's one stupid little word. If you like him keep talking to him. So what if he's talking to other women too. He's only just started talking to op!

EdmundCleverClogs · 16/09/2016 07:49

Ew 'babes'. No, I couldn't do it I'm afraid! A very good friend of mine has started 'hunning' everyone (including me), I'm debating whether to say anything. I really don't like being called sickly sweet none-names.

smilingthroughgrittedteeth · 16/09/2016 07:56

The only person who gets away with calling me babe is fil and that's only because he has dementia and I know it's his way of hiding the fact that he can't remember my name.

DP called me it once and I told him to never call me it again, 10 years in and he has lots of other nicknames for me but never uses babe, just tell him you don't like it.

c3pu · 16/09/2016 07:56

To be fair to the bloke, a lot of girls seem to really like it in my experience!

It is Tinder after all...

claraschu · 16/09/2016 07:58

Maybe he is doing it in an ironic manner?

onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad · 16/09/2016 08:07

It's just about preferences. I don't mind 'babe' or 'babes' but can't stand 'hun' or even worse 'dear'
My SiL calls me 'dear' all the time ... I'm not young but that makes me sound ancient.
If he's funny and you like him I wouldn't let it worry you. Give him a chance - you could be chucking something with potential away over a tiny meaningless name.

notarehearsal · 16/09/2016 08:12

My now exdh started calling me babes when he was in the midst of an affair! ''Twas surprising after knowing him for 20 years! I think he was worried he'd use the wrong name

BasinHaircut · 16/09/2016 08:15

I don't mind babes. I say it to DH and DS.

Would probably make me cringe in he scenario you describe though, but not a deal breaker.

icanteven · 16/09/2016 08:41

That's hysterical. DH & I use "babes" ironically. He cracks it out with the Flynn Rider eyebrows to "win me over" if he wants something that he knows isn't going to happen (cup of tea when there's no earthly reason for me to get him one etc.).

Mind you, BIL and his GF use it with a completely straight face. It's v hard not to giggle.

Skiver123 · 16/09/2016 08:46

Strange as both of my long term partners called me Baby Bear and Babes. They were the most non sexist non selfish people you could ever meet and would have given their lives for me in a heart beat. I was engaged to the one for ten years until I had a mental breakdown and broke it off, still regret it as I hurt him so much 😞 and the other I'm currently engaged to and getting married to next year. I liked both nicknames. Sad you'd write someone off for that.

DillyDingDillyDong · 16/09/2016 08:46

DH started calling me babes ages ago to annoy me so I started calling him baby. Unfortunately we got so used to saying it to each other that we actually call each other it now. We do try not to around others though. He called me babes in front of a friend last week and the friend took the piss out of him for the whole night!

Could you not just say you don't like being called that?

AgainPlease · 16/09/2016 08:55

What's wrong with babes? I don't mind it really. Especially after one or two dates where 'darling' is too intense.

DH alternated between calling me babe (no s!) and darling the first few months of dating and now we call each other baby.

I'd still probably prefer babes over him calling me my actual name though. Sounds so formal when he says my name.

TheEmperorsHat · 16/09/2016 08:55

DH calls me baby, is this weird? I didn't know. I googled it the first time he did it (yes really) and concluded I'd just been out of touch with reality.

bomfunk · 16/09/2016 09:05

I'd bite your hand off for babes! I get spunk-monkey, sugar-tits, little miss cunty, spunk-trumpet and on and on i have an equally galling list of pet names for him too though. It would be the most romantic and affectionate remark ever for me!

wonderingsoul · 16/09/2016 09:08

I just think to cut some one off just for that makes you sound terriable stuck up.

Fair enough you dont like it and if they persist calling you it then dump there ass.

My bf tried calling me princess at the start... i told him in no uncerton terms that i was not a princess, i deff didnt need a prince or some one to swoop in and rescue me. ...

We call each other baby, which i was a little about to begin with but i like it now. Iv never called an ex my a nick name before so it was all a little werid but i love it now.

He also calls me "my love"

I call him booger too sometimes. Because if he was a bogey id pick him first everytime.

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