I probably am being unreasonable, precious last born and need some talking too! DC started Montessori last monday in a lovely school about 5 minutes walk away. DC will be 3 in two months and is the youngest of 4 children and the only boy. He is very happy smiley chatty child (happy even as a baby) and never really causes trouble other than the usual toddler variety. He has built in playmates with his siblings and thinks he is a lot older than he is. He has no interest in children his own age other than to call them babies and gets right in the middle of the big kids which can cause problems when they want to play without ds. When the older ones were going back to school he really wanted to go too.
I admit I wasn't anywhere near ready to send him to preschool and drove everyone mad debating whether to do it or not. My mum told me I was holding him back and mollycoddling him so mammy guilt kicked in so off he went while I was still anxious. He ran straight in, charmed everyone and decided he loved school the first day. We were leading him in gently with a few hours 3 mornings a week. I know its totally normal for a child to rebel and decide they dont want to go so we were prepared for it. He's gone from my happy boy to liking school to telling me constantly that hes not going to school again in his limited speech. Yesterday he was taken off me screaming crying and trying to run back to "his house". When I picked him up his teacher told me she got cross with him as he wanted a childs toy and when he cried and was stubborn in getting his own way she got cross with him. This was told to me at the door of the school in front of my dc. I was told that we needed to work on his stubborness at home and stop giving into him as he needs to "comply" when in school.She did then make comment to him about her being cross with him and I did say to him something like he needed to share with the other kids and not take the toys, to which she replied "oh no, he isn't sharing the toy, he might have a turn with it in a few days"
She said he enjoyed learning his "letters" and otherwise enjoyed the day. I was taken aback, not just with a 2 year old learning letters but also that I need to work on him at home. He is quite independent and stubborn but in no way does he get his own way! He may try too, and may try to push his older siblings around but if there is an argument over a toy say we either remove him from the situation to diffuse or we distract him with something else. He's not even 3 year, reasoning doesn't really work. He has gone from my happy chatty child to one who wont speak and is clingy which he never was before.
I am very aware that I was anxious about starting him which stem from having 2 miscarriages this year. But I feel uncomfortable to how the toy situation was resolved, how it was brought up in front of my child and also that he is very unhappy. I do feel that I sent him initially for his benefit and not mine but by keeping him somewhere he is unhappy where they are expecting too much of him at a young age would be unfair to him. I had spoken to the owner about a previous preschool we took our daughter out of because she was very unsettled and making herself ill holding on to her urine but being made sit on the loo for 30 minutes until I came and got her. Part of the reasons were I felt they were expecting to much and they were constantly telling tales at the door like she couldn't put on her glove or she got up from the table to dispose of her rubbish at lunch when we hadn't asked her to tidy up. All this said in front of my child upsetting her and the new school owner swore they weren't like that at all. Is it all in my head? I feel like trying him for another few days but after that trying elsewhere. He's been very much unlike himself though and I hate to think that someone is being cross with him when he is still young and only settling in and they aren't seeing how he changed from the child who ran in the first 2 weeks and told me he loved school to the child this week who is withdrawn and upset, which just happens to coincide with the preschool doing "lessons" when maybe he would be better in a more play orientated playschool rather than Montessori.
Sorry about my huge post, I tried to condense it but it just came waffling out. Prepared for flaming