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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Neighbour ranting at dog for weeing

42 replies

Taygirl · 15/09/2016 08:41

I have a route I walk my dog in the morning before work (it's the closest one where there's a footpath I can let him off the lead a bit). About a year ago I was walking him towards the footpath (still by road and houses and on lead), there was a woman with her Jack Russell dog who I would sometimes meet and say Hi to - she lives in that street. Her dog always barks at mine (small dog barking at big dog - we are used to it!), so he was across the road barking at us and I crossed towards them at this point as the pavement runs out on my side and we always cross there to avoid walking on the road. Her dog barks more, she hits the dog (!) and calls me a 'stupid woman' for crossing. After it had sunk in what she'd said I let her know I didn't stand for being called names and why we crossed (I had to shout it as she had scurried down the road).

Anyway, since then she has avoided me, crossing the road when she sees me etc. This morning, we were about to pass her house when she came out with dog, crossed over to avoid us as usual then back to pavement behind us. So, my dog decides to have a wee against the corner of the wall where her gate is. She must have been watching as she suddenly starts having a go at me "You're not going to let your dog wee there are you?" etc. I replied that it is a public street - what's the problem. She asked me how I'd like it if she took her dog to mine and let it wee. I said that was fine, go ahead. I'm afraid I also said something along the lines of "I wouldn't be such a cow to have a go at you about your dog having a bloody wee".

AIBU?

(Sorry for the long tale...)

OP posts:

HeyNannyNanny · 15/09/2016 09:49

YANBU obviously

Her dog barking at another dog is her issue and honestly she needs to train him out of it. I'd be mortified if my dog was aggressive towards another one.
And Dogs wee on things. As do all other animals. I think people must be enormously precious to moan about wee on something outside.

Rain washes it off, and the smell really isn't that bad. If you go outside - there will be smells.
(Though if it was their front door I guess it'd be different)

Mumsnet is so weird about pets.
I saw a thread a while back where the majority thought cats pooing outside was unreasonable

KinkyAfro · 15/09/2016 10:06

When a dog's gotta go, a dog's gotta go....rather like builders, they don't pee/shit to a schedule

Dunkling · 15/09/2016 10:06

Answering as a dog owner I think you ABU on 2 counts.

If I have regular dog owners I see on my walks and know which ones have problems with other dogs, I recognize their difficulties and give them space and time and keep my distance. I see one regular lady walking a GHD that she obviously knows has problems and I can see her trying to train it out of him, so I give her the space she needs. Same with little yappy dogs who all seem to hate my rather large but teddy bear like goldie.

And I never let her wee on otherpeoples paths, driveways, grass and boundaries etc. She's a girl so doesn't cock her leg and that helps, but I keep her aay from abluting near other peoples property as, even as a dog owner, I find leg cocking wee on my bins, wall and recycling boxes etc totally foul!!

Dunkling · 15/09/2016 10:08

And DOGGITY is right.... you can train them to be told not to.

KinkyAfro · 15/09/2016 10:09

Her dog is the problem so she should be dealing with it. Was OP supposed to walk on the road because she couldn't control her dog?

sparechange · 15/09/2016 10:13

YANBU
Her dog is reactive, that is her problem. I presume your dog was ignoring the barking and you weren't bringing your snarling dog over to start a fight with hers? (If you were, YWBU obv!)

The fact that she started hitting her dog while it was barking shows she must be quite dense about dogs, so on that basis alone, I would disregard what she said

Re weeing, I really dislike boy dogs who have to wee on every.single.thing. so won't let them do it while they are on a lead. If it is a wee that he needed after being inside for too long, it is probably better that it is on grass or something that drains. If it was him marking, then you shouldn't be letting him at all while he is on the lead, and for the sake of neighbourly relations, definitely not against her gate again.

But honestly, do you want this to keep escalating? Would it be better to call a truce. Apologise next time you see her, and perhaps say something like 'I know our dogs don't like each other, but I hope that doesn't mean that we have to copy them. As a fellow dog-owner on this street, I certainly don't want to fall out' and see if you can take it back to being on civil nodding terms

Original poster

Taygirl · 15/09/2016 10:17

Hmmm, it honestly hadn't occurred to me that this would be such an issue for people, I may have to try to re-train where the dog wees if so many people don't like it. The other issue with the reactive dog can be a bit harder as most small dogs seem to do this with him and it can be hard to avoid them all. I do understand it as my dog is the same with certain breeds.

I hate the thought of having to change where we walk to avoid this person but may have to as I do actually hate confontation and I know I'll be really jumpy and anxious going up there now.

OP posts:

Floralnomad · 15/09/2016 10:20

Quite honestly it sounds like you are both equally unpleasant and aggravating , you deserve each other .

Original poster

Taygirl · 15/09/2016 10:21

Sparechange - thanks for the advice, I may try to apologise and resolve next time I see her as I wouldn't like to have to keep worrying about going up there!

OP posts:

emotionsecho · 15/09/2016 10:30

There's no need to be jumpy and anxious just considerate, she has a reactive dog that she is struggling with don't make it any harder by crossing the road straight at them, just wait until they've gone a bit further down the path and don't let your dog mark the other dog's territory.

Original poster

Taygirl · 15/09/2016 10:40

emotions - that sounds reasonable - I think I can manage that! Thanks.

OP posts:

RebeccaWithTheGoodHair · 15/09/2016 11:00

I'd rather a dog wee'd on a wall than on a hedge as theoretically the hedge stands more chance of being damaged over time.

I don't think you're being particularly U. I have a dog who reacts badly to other dogs when she's on her lead so I think it's my responsibility to keep her calm and move her our away - avoiding the well-behaved dogs trotting along nicely like yours was!

VeryBitchyRestingFace · 15/09/2016 11:02

An OP who accepts she's BU.

Is it a full moon tonight?

TheNaze73 · 15/09/2016 11:05

I don't think YABU however, A lot of people would I think.

Artandco · 15/09/2016 11:08

I hate dogs being allowed to wee on gates and up walls of front gardens.

We have a gate and iron fencing leading to our flat and people let dogs wee up them all the time. It's horrible as my children and I have to push the gate open to get in. Small children often lean or swing on gate edges getting in or touch much lower down if small.

If you have a dog you should train it to wait until you are in a grassy wild area.

We had cats growing up, they always were trained to use a litter box and would come in through cat flat if outside to use box then go back outside, so no they didn't shit on others lawn.

MetalMidget · 15/09/2016 11:17

I don't allow our dog to wee on other people's walls/gates/plants/grass/cars - it encourages other dogs to do likewise, and could potentially stain/damage over time.

HeyNannyNanny · 15/09/2016 11:39

Floralnomad
I hope the irony of your post isnt lost on you

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