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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be disappointed with baby sensory class?

59 replies

Sewblunt · 15/09/2016 08:14

I started taking my DS to baby sensory class. This is a new experience for me as this is my first child and I was rather looking forward to it but the class is a bit of a let down. It is an officially branded baby sensory class so I expected it to be good. Every week we have done singing activities with actions. While I appreciate that the actions will be picked up as we go along I do not know the words to the songs and so can't sing either. I'm not talking about humpty dumpty either, some of the songs are in French or completely new to me. I feel like she could've printed off a few sheets of lyric so people could follow along. Most of the group sat in dumbfounded silence while she sang along to the loud music. Secondly the pace of the class is so rushed that I don't feel my son has time to enjoy the activities. She whips out some puppets or some flashing light things and after about two minutes she is collecting them back in and we move onto the next thing. It all seems a but too much. Thirdly, there are a group of 8 women who attend the class, I think they are an NCT group as they all know each other, who are just awful. In the first week my son started to grizzle a little bit, not excessively and he wasn't crying and one of these women told me I "should shove a dummy in his mouth to keep him quiet" I was a bit shocked by this and the rest of her group thought this was hilarious. During the second week the same woman remarked on how often I kiss my baby. I think this was very inappropriate. I kiss my baby as often as feels right for me. He is bloody gorgeous and I do it without thinking. Isn't that normal? This group are as thick as thieves and monopolise the activity stations during the free play section to the exclusion of others. They split themselves across 2-3 stations and just sit there chatting and no one else can use the equipment at those stations. Is it unreasonable to expect the leader of the group to be a bit more aware of what is going on and to try to encourage this group of women to move from station to station so the rest of the babies can experience more than one activity?

OP posts:

KitKat1985 · 15/09/2016 09:24

With this things I would say bear in mind your DS doesn't give a monkeys about these classes, and I would say that's pretty much true of all groups that are aimed at under 1's. Most of these groups are more so that you don't have to spend all day at home, and can go out and meet other Mums. If you're not enjoying it, then cut your losses and ask for a refund for the classes you've paid for.

I would say though that I did a few baby groups when DD was little, and some were hard work and very 'cliquey', and others were good. Maybe try another group and see if it suits you better.

mouldycheesefan · 15/09/2016 09:32

Ask your health visitor if there is a baby peeps class, they are cheap and perhaps a bit more relaxed. Rhymetimes are also good. My dds enjoyed music bugs from about 2.5 years, bit young before that.

FeliciaJollygoodfellow · 15/09/2016 09:33

Thick as thieves you say - more like thick as mince. Of course you kiss your baby all the time! I still do with mine and they're 7 and 4!

I don't think I'd go back.

dailymaillazyjournos · 15/09/2016 09:33

I'd try for a refund. I'd tell the person leading it that you feel judged and unwelcome by the other mums (give examples) and that it's not at all an enjoyable experience unfortunately.

The other women sound right pieces of work. Not what you need one bit. If you can't get a refund (though i'd hope for goodwill they would refund a good proportion at least), then if you can afford to write off the money,I'd not go back.

Mummyto2bubs · 15/09/2016 09:36

I did a tria class of baby sensory with my 2nd DC, and never went back! I found it really dull, and he was not stimulated by it at all. It obviously weeks for some people, but I'm not into all that wishy washy stuff. I also found it a really really clicky group.
Give me a good old toddler group any day, where I can actually chat to people while my children play, freely!

Madeupforthis · 15/09/2016 09:44

I posted the other day about a group leader refusing to make good on her half price trial offer... I didn't say in the thread but guess what group it was?! That's right! Baby Sensory! Haha!

I actually went and liked it but I can see how the wrong group of people might make it a bit rubbish. Can you transfer to another class?

Kissing the baby: Was the woman Mediterranean? I only ask as some older generations consider it bad luck. It is "vain" to to kiss your baby too much and you might incite the evil eye/malocchio. My IL's burn olive leaves every week to ward it off!

thecatsarecrazy · 15/09/2016 09:45

I've always kissed my babies, they have such kissable little squishy cheek's.

AbitSceptical · 15/09/2016 09:55

What KitKat1985 said.

The classes are primarily for Mums to meet and if it isn't working for you, don't go... there are so many of these types of class out there and sometimes you have to try quite a lot to find one or two that suit you.
Be bold and ask nicely for a refund.

There is a lot of luck involved in meeting like minded people with similarly aged babies, so you have to be open minded and just keep at it. It is hard work and a bit demoralising at times, but worth it when you do have a few Mum buddies... to bond with on maternity leave, help each other out when you go back to work, and meet up for a meal / glass of wine with years later when your babies start secondary school and sob over how much they've all grown up.

Good luck. Your post wiped some of the 'rose' from my rose-tinted glasses about my own children's baby days...

Original poster

Sewblunt · 15/09/2016 10:03

You guys are so right. I think I'll ask for some of my money back or transfer to another group. I don't want to persevere with this group when more than half the group belong to this nct group. If not I'll cut my losses and start something else.
I'm moving to Hazel Grove so if anyone knows of anything locally there that is good then let me know.

OP posts:

nocampinghere · 15/09/2016 10:17

Tell the leader you want a refund for the following reasons:

the class is too rushed and a frenetic pace for your baby
the leader is not managing the group dynamics
you should have been able to have a trial class before paying for the whole term (that is usual practice).

she'll refund you to shut you up for fear that you complain about her.

RubbishG3nericUsername · 15/09/2016 10:19

I took my DD to baby sensory classes and she seemed to really enjoy them. Think it hugely depends on the area and who the class leader is. Agree with other posters, if your not enjoying it, and the other mums are being cliquey, then ask for a refund. Maternity leave is too short to spend it doing something you don't enjoy! Hope you find something that fits better for you and your baby x

giraffesCantReachTheirToes · 15/09/2016 10:23

find a nice local friendly toddler group where you can plonk baby on mat/bouncer with some nice germy (immune system building) toys and sit and chat to other parents/cerers while munching biccies dipped in tea :)

LuckySantangelo1 · 15/09/2016 10:25

If you can't get a refund it may be worth sticking with the group for a little longer; my experience of baby groups is the people attending changes across the term as new people join up and some people drop out. So some nice people may start coming. And remember about the NCT people; most people do NCT to make friends so try talking to a couple of them and you may find them more friendly than you think.

JudyCoolibar · 15/09/2016 10:39

These classes are a total waste of money. You're much better off finding a mother and baby/toddler group.

HellsBellsnBucketsofBlood · 15/09/2016 11:03

I enjoyed the classes with DD - but the leader was fantastic. Apparently it's all gone a bit downhill since as a new leader arrived.

However, I partly did them because I felt I 'should', and by the end it wasn't really worth it. If it's not working for you - ask to move to a different class/for a refund.

AnnaFender · 15/09/2016 11:22

I think you have been attending the exact same baby sensory class as me! And I quit it for the exact same reasons! It was literally flaring my anxiety and I was dreading going! One week as we all took our place around the circle I noticed that everyone had left a person wide gap either side of me. I felt rubbish. Is the first song 'Hello Sun'?

AnnaFender · 15/09/2016 11:23

Also, the leader was way over the top and sounding like a kids tv presenter on speed!

Original poster

Sewblunt · 15/09/2016 13:59

annafender yes that's the opening song but that's the same at every baby sensory class within that franchise. Where abouts are you based?
The leader of this group was a bit like that but I wouldn't be surprised if they all are!

OP posts:

Masketti · 15/09/2016 14:03

If you don't get anything out of it that's fine. Don't go. Don't beat yourself up or get stressed; it's just not the right class for you and your baby. I met a couple of lovely people at mine but stopped going as my DD fell asleep in the middle bit! It didn't suit her but it suited me but I stopped and that was that.

Tanith · 15/09/2016 14:59

I used to take one of my mindees: her mum wanted to finish up the year.

The other ladies there were friendly and had obviously got to know Little Mindee well, and Little Mindee did enjoy the sessions.

I did notice that the baby signing was often wrong, though 😄

whoopiedoo · 15/09/2016 15:25

Your experience is very similar to mine sewblunt.

As a first time mum last year and someone who has always worked full time and enjoyed a busy life I was keen to join baby groups and classes and decided to really throw myself in to the mum experience. I joined baby sensory classes, swimming classes, baby groups, music groups .... I also found lots of the classes seemed to have ready formed groups of friends attending and the groups were really hard to penetrate. For example the baby sensory I went to there seemed to be a large click that would stick together in the classes and then go for lunch together afterwards, it made me feel even more isolated. I stopped going in the end and I've now decided I'll wait until my DD goes to nursery and make her own friends and just hope it opens up some new friendships to me too.

whoopiedoo · 15/09/2016 15:26

Oh baby signing I did that one too :)

Mol1628 · 15/09/2016 15:32

I hate all these classes. I much prefer the local run baby and toddler groups, a pound a time and no structure, just toys and other parents to chat to. And if you don't like it then don't go back.

LaurieMarlow · 15/09/2016 15:34

Don't go if you don't like it. I adored baby sensory. Monkey music on the other hand was shit.

Summerdays2014 · 15/09/2016 15:36

I hated baby Sensorary abs only went to one class. I have found lots of other classes that are brilliant though. Sign language, yoga, massage, library, sure start groups have all been wonderful.

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