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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To give DD the initials SSS?

35 replies

Skiil · 15/09/2016 01:41

Is it too much? What if she has a lisp?

I love the names so bloody much! Always have done, I always thought I could get away with SS, but then I married a man that has a surname beginning with S!

OP posts:
VioletBam · 15/09/2016 01:46

What? Like Sarah Sally Simpkins? Or Sabrina Stella Stevens?

Tbh I think it's a bad idea. Like Milly Molly Mandy or something. Sounds too book character=ish.

VioletBam · 15/09/2016 01:47

Also...you do know it's not mandatory to change your name on marrying dont' you?

If you really like the name then choose just the first name and double barrel her surname with DH's and your own.

Sara Jones Stevens or whatever it is.

blinkowl · 15/09/2016 01:48

You could always give her your surname also to break it up?

My DC have first name, middle name, my surname, DP's surname.

DP has the same.

Assuming your surname doesn't begin with S of course!

Skiil · 15/09/2016 01:53

My surname is my DH's now though. My maiden name began with Th, so think it would sound just as bad!

But yes, like Stephanie Scarlet Simpson (not the names)

OP posts:
kerryob · 15/09/2016 01:56

If she's going to be known by her 1st name & surname it's not an issue, go for it

OlennasWimple · 15/09/2016 01:56

Better than SAS or SOS...

Magstermay · 15/09/2016 02:00

If DS2 had been a girl we wanted names with the initials ASS Grin, we added another middle name so it would've been ASGS, could you do the same if you're worried?
I'm very pleased to have two boys but that's reminded me how pretty the girls names were!

AmeliaJack · 15/09/2016 02:01

My concern would be more around having SS as initials. A boy in our school was teased for it.

VioletBam · 15/09/2016 02:07

Kerry's right really....she's not going to be called Sara Sasha Simpkins all the time. People will just say Sara...usually and register at school wouild be Sarah Simkins...so it's fine.

LikeDylanInTheMovies · 15/09/2016 06:40

Kerry's right really....she's not going to be called Sara Sasha Simpkins all the time. People will just say Sara...usually and register at school wouild be Sarah Simkins...so it's fine.

Yes, that's just as well. Thank God the initials SS don't carry any unsavoury connotations at all. Hmm

user1471517900 · 15/09/2016 06:47

It might be too early here and I'm missing something obvious......what's wrong with SS?

LikeDylanInTheMovies · 15/09/2016 06:51

user are you joking?

LyndaNotLinda · 15/09/2016 06:53

Umm they were the Nazi paramilitary force. Don't children get taught about WWII any more?

OP please think of a different name. Your daughter will thank you

user1471517900 · 15/09/2016 06:55

Ah ok, it's a name for Nazi party. I told you it was early. I've never heard people use that phrase in that way though. The only SS I've heard of was to do with ship names.

LikeDylanInTheMovies · 15/09/2016 07:01

Sorry userI wasn't sure if you were joking or hadn't made the connection. The SS were the paramilitary wing of the Nazi party and were directly responsible for implementing the Holocaust. Really not something you'd want to saddle a child with.

Birdsgottafly · 15/09/2016 07:03

My interest is WW2, but since being off ill, I've expanded.

Even so, my Merchant Navy family background must be taking over, because my first thought was the Shipping abbreviation.

OP, if you really want the names, then use them, it won't be that noticed.

blueskyinmarch · 15/09/2016 07:05

My SIL’s initials were SS before she married. I never, ever thought of any connotations of her initials, good bad, it was just her name.

user1471517900 · 15/09/2016 07:09

Yeah I know a few people with those initials. Never ever heard anyone use that to bully them!

SoupDragon · 15/09/2016 07:11

you do know it's not mandatory to change your name on marrying dont' you?

You do know that some people want to don't you? Hmm

SoupDragon · 15/09/2016 07:13

I think that, as we get further from WW2 and the SS, the connotations of the initials get less and less. I think SSS is fine.

FoxesOnSocks · 15/09/2016 07:17

On the whole bullying thing, if a child is incline to bully then another not having the initials isn't going to stop them - SSS could be material for a bully, but without it they find something else.

I went to school with a person whose initials we discovered were JCB. Small bit of ribbing occurred - then it ended.

Obviously if a child with an S name has a lisp that's unfortunate but you can't know.

Skittlesss · 15/09/2016 07:21

^you do know it's not mandatory to change your name on marrying dont' you?

You do know that some people want to don't you? hmm^

I was just going to say this, but then remembered it's mumsnet where married women changing their surname is either uncommon or frowned upon... yet in real life I only know one woman who has kept their maiden name.

FamousGBBOGoOnAnAdventure · 15/09/2016 07:33

SSS like a snake!

LikeDylanInTheMovies · 15/09/2016 07:47

I think that, as we get further from WW2 and the SS, the connotations of the initials get less and less. I think SSS is fine.

I'm mid 30s and the Nazi/Holocaust connotation was immediate and obvious to me (someone of roughly the same age as the parents of her friends). At best I'd be inclined to think at best 'that's a bit unfortunate' to 'what on earth were the parents thinking?'

I was just going to say this, but then remembered it's mumsnet where married women changing their surname is either uncommon or frowned upon... yet in real life I only know one woman who has kept their maiden name.

At the risk of getting sidetracked. I don't think that's the case at all. I don't think it is uncommon or frowned upon. It is that posters find it beings people into conflict with in-laws who take it as a personal slight or other posters and write about it here. The prevailing view isn't thou shall not change your name, but 'I chose to keep mine for X, y or Z reasons.' Of course you will get a small minority taking absolute positions on both sides of 'everyone should do this' but I don't think your characterisation is fair or accurate.

I would suggest that you might move in fairly conservative (with a small c) or monocultual circles. In my own, about 70% have kept their own surname or double barrelled it, for a combination of professional, cultural or ideological reasons. Neither of our experiences are typical: between a third and a quarter of women getting married in 2014 kept their surname. So neither of our experiences truly reflect 'real life'.

JudyCoolibar · 15/09/2016 08:13

I don't think the connotations of SS are getting any less, simply because the Nazis are a standard part of the history curriculum in every school. I think I'd avoid it if possible: sometimes you just do have to let go of a name you like. I have always liked the name Rose but it would have sounded fairly terrible with our surname, so DD has it just as the second of three names.

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