Is it worse to be older or fatter when having a baby?

[Pikawhoo]

Please indulge my curiosity here. A friend in her mid 30s has asked me what I think about her waiting a few years to lose weight before getting pregnant with her third (and final, if it happens) child. I said I thought she should go for it, but that I didn't have any medical evidence for that, it was just based on the sense that she might be leaving it too late if she waited. She definitely wants another child. She's very overweight, perhaps a size 20, but otherwise active and healthy. My doctor was critical of my weight when I was pregnant and around a size 14, though, so I'm wondering if the potential problems might outweigh the benefits?

So, I'm turning to the hive mind. When considering getting pregnant, would you think it would be worse to be:

• overweight or obese and younger?

• Or slimmer and older?

And why? Thanks in advance!

I was overweight and pregnant.
Firstly, because of high BMI had to be under consultant care. Whilst this has certain advantages (extra growth scans), I got lectured by consultant and made to feel like shit for being fat. She blew all the risks out of proportion, and I cried after the appointment.
Because of my shit diet (hence high BMI) I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes (higher risk because of BMI). This was really unpleasant (needles to check blood sugar 4 times a day, no sugar in diet whatsoever).
It also meant I had to be induced- not a pleasant experience
In addition, I had a higher risk of a big baby (which I had- 9lb10 worth of baby shooting out your vagina isn't pleasant)
Then, we both needed extra monitoring (read, extra time in hospital when you want to be at home) after birth
I would NEVER recommend anyone being overweight and pregnant. Lose weight now!
This is just my experience

iliveinalighthouse

Why is this thread sizist and ageist? Unfortunately, it's biological fact that both age and size are risk factors in both fertility and successful outcomes of pregnancy, why is it ageist and sizist to ponder the relative risks?

'No intention of losing weight... Love and accept me for who I am or don't love and accept me at all'

It's not about judging people or being happy in one's skin... It's about medical facts, no one is asking you to lose weight (and good luck ttc) but can't change facts that a BMI of under 30 is associated with good outcomes for pregnancy.

Thanks everyone, really interesting thoughts here.

I guess it does depend on a lot of really personal factors that only the person making the decision could really know, but it's an interesting dilemma.

Passed some of this on to her, thank you :-)

Slimmer & older I reckon

Just because you are young e.g. 20 years old, it does not make you immune to pregnancy related problems & complications- and if you are overweight the risks will be higher than if you are a slim 20 year old.

Mid 30's wanting to wait a few years? Very dangerous gamble to assume she'll still be fertile in a few years.

She could lose a lot of weight in a year if it was important to her.

'No intention of losing weight... Love and accept me for who I am or don't love and accept me at all

Love and acceptance has fuck all to do with increased medical risks. You can't wish them away with rainbows and bunnies.

If she's mid 30s she should get on with TTC asap. And try to lose weight while pregnant.