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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Boys school football team should have boys in??

41 replies

plastique · 13/09/2016 20:57

So son has come home from school, disappointed not to get in the yr 8 school football team. Ok fair enough, there must be better players than him.... Well that's life move on etc!!! Oh no that's not the case. Two girls are in the boys football team.. Fair enough too if boys are allowed in girls football team... But oh no girls only... Trying to teach equality etc but this goes against everything!! Thoughts please....

OP posts:

LRDtheFeministDragon · 13/09/2016 22:55

YY, I agree with that elisheva, it's just one can see how the names might have come into being.

I do also think that positive messages are complicated here. If the girls' team becomes (in effect) the team for the boys who can't get into the boys' team, how is that more positive?

Elisheva · 13/09/2016 23:00

It also means that the girls' team is always second rate, even if it is outstanding.

LouisvilleLlama · 13/09/2016 23:01

You won't get much support OP, but if it was a boy in a girls team, you'd probably have tons of support.

MiddleClassProblem · 13/09/2016 23:02

In guessing it's about the opponents they are matched with. I guess an all girls tournament is stricter, not wanting all girl teams up against mostly boys with a few girls if they relaxed the rules. Not sure if it's due to the idea of a teen boys slide tackling girls (surely girls doing this isn't that different?) or being secondary school, all girls schools being against boys etc and the development (ahem) element? I'm guessing we will see more mixed tournaments in the future.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 13/09/2016 23:03

You won't get much support OP, but if it was a boy in a girls team, you'd probably have tons of support.

No shit, Sherlock ... that being kinda the point.

arethereanyleftatall · 13/09/2016 23:08

Dd is just getting in to football, what I've noticed is this-
When they say 'y3 can play football this lunchtime', what actually happens is y3 boys play at lunchtime telling the girls it's 'boys only.' The girls just don't get a chance unless you have a team specifically for them. The same isn't true for the boys.

LouisvilleLlama · 13/09/2016 23:14

So LRD equality to you is girls can be in any spaces they want, but boys can't have any space to themselves. Hmm...

LRDtheFeministDragon · 13/09/2016 23:17

No, of course not.

I am also concerned about the fact the primary teachers are generally female, the fact that care workers are generally female, the fact that ballet classes include few boys ... take your pick.

And if the OP were saying her daughter had been kicked out of the ballet class by a boy who was better than her, and complaining that there was also a 'boys' ballet class her DD couldn't join, I would feel exactly the same lack of sympathy with her as here.

We ought to be fair, and that includes taking into account wider circumstances.

AnyTheWiser · 13/09/2016 23:22

Ok fair enough, there must be better players than him.... Well that's life move on etc!!! Oh no that's not the case. Two girls are in the boys football team..

So two girls could not possibly be better than your son at football? Really?
Because it sounds like that is what your saying. No girls could be better than him.

manicinsomniac · 13/09/2016 23:29

If 70 odd boys tried out for one team then the school need a B and a C team at least. It's only giving the best a chance to play that's the problem, not including girls among that best.

I went to a very ordinary comprehensive in the mid-late 90s when I was in Year 8 and I was in the C team for hockey and the E (!!) team for netball. I assume the boys had similar set ups for rugby and football. I'm sure if it was the norm then then it still is now.

Do you know why there's only a team for the best?

funfunapple · 14/09/2016 09:39

I think that part of the issue here is that traditionally few girls played football therefore the question of girls and buys football never came up. As the popularity of girls playing football has increased the girls are coming up and playing as well as the boys and I some cases better. Perhaps the school should ditch the terms boys and girls for the teams but if they want to play the best teams and to give themselves the best chance of then just maybe there are girls who are better players.

Original poster

plastique · 14/09/2016 13:11

Anythewiser of course that's not what I'm saying...I have 3 daughters... Its that 70+ boys went for boys team and 2 girls got in...as well as being in the girls team...

OP posts:

MiddleClassProblem · 14/09/2016 13:16

I do think it's a opponent/tournament thing though.

HereIAm20 · 14/09/2016 13:25

It doesn't matter that the girls team won the county cup though. They would be playing other girls team and it would still be a lower standard than the "school team" for want of a better word than boys team.

In the leagues too until U14s the boys team can be mixed but the girls teams aren't. Remember girls can go to Beavers now too!

The school has clearly selected its A team based on ability/meritocracy. Isn't that what we'd hope for?

budgiegirl · 14/09/2016 15:05

Its that 70+ boys went for boys team and 2 girls got in...as well as being in the girls team...

It sounds like they need a mixed B team. But of course, someone has to run it, and school resources are generally limited for this kind of thing. Have any of the parents thought about asking if they can volunteer to run a second team? The school might just bite their arm off.

yabvu · 14/09/2016 16:55

It's absolutely unfair as the opposite wouldn't be tolerated - probably because the girls team would be likely dominated by boys. Perhaps a mixed A and B team would be unfair as many girls may be pushed out.

Having said that, sports seem to be in a situation where mens' events are the default unless you prove you're a woman (Semenya for example). As most women would be at a disadvantage playing or competing against men, the onus is on them to prove they should be allowed to play in the womens' category.

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