To holiday without DH?

[FatJackie]

To somewhere he's keen to go to?

Due to carer issues, we can't both go. I could wait until we are both able to go but this could be years down the line.

Next month I will have finished my very difficult work training and want to reward myself. I'm desperate to go to this place and told DH who looked disappointed then said 'go for it, you deserve it!' But am I being unreasonable/insensitive to go without him? We could definitely go again in future.

The majority may not agree but I'm going to say YABU. I went away with a friend in August and she suggested 2 places - I chose the one that my husband and I hadn't always talked about going to rather than the one we had.

It's not about going on holiday without him, which is fine.

It's going somewhere that you'd talked about experiencing as a couple.

There isn't such a shortage of places that you can't go elsewhere, as long as you've got plans to go, within a year.

Just to ask, why would going with him be "years away"?

I'm not sure I could go somewhere without DH that he would love to go to, I'd be constantly thinking 'Oh, he'd love this' and then feel guilty.

There are lots of wonderful places to go on holiday, pick something else for this trip.

But what a lovely DH you have, telling you it's ok to go without him.

I suppose you're all right I would feel guilty being there and there are plenty of other places to go.

Birds it sounds heartless but it is factual unfortunately, the person we are caring for has a terminal illness so won't be with us for long.

You should go somewhere else.

Of all the places in the world, I think it's weirdly mean to want to go to the one place your dh is desperate to go to.

I agree with pp, wouldn't it be lovely to share together? I was assuming it was going to be because someone is taking you or it's a hen do or family thing but no just you choosing it

Well I would go. Nothing stopping you both going again in future. He said go too.

It's not really that YABU.

But it just seems unnecessary to go to this particular place when you are both constrained due to shared caring duties (if I have understood correctly).

I think I would pick somewhere else I'd enjoy and save the really special place for when you can both go.

It sounds tough for both of you.

And also like you make a good team.

If it hadn't been somewhere you said you'd go together, YWNBU but as you discussed it as a couple it would be unfair. For example my partner holidayed A LOT coming from a very different background to me. As such he's not as bothered about travel as I am, even less interested if he has been there already. I'm off on holiday with friends at the end of the year to Spain where he's been lots of times, but I've never been. He's delighted for me. If however I'd announced I was off to the place we've discussed for our honeymoon when we eventually get married he would have been disappointed and I get that. By all means go somewhere else, there's a whole world out there waiting to be explored!

YANBU, go for it. It'll still be there to go with him, later on down the track